New wishing thread! ~ advice to the person above you.

[flipflopfetish]

alright... i know i shall be crap @ this advice, but here goes.

the fact that you know what you 'should' be doing is most definately the first step-- you know the whole 'knowing the problem is the beginning of the solution' that sort of thing...

i'm sure you'll have a happy day soon. when i'm depressed i always feel like i'll never be happy again but then the next day i'll get a letter or something (the smallest things make me happy) and i'll feel good... so maybe do something you like, like taking a day off work or school or whatever and seeing a movie or shopping or something

i really have no advice about the next one

same

it isn't too much to ask


right. i suck.

i wish that there would be new replies on my place tomorrow even though i have not written anything. i am an attention whore and proud of it!

[Catylyx]

nothing wrong with that i'll post in your place when i'm done here. forgive me if its a tad odd...i'm like that. lol





---


i wish i wasn't so unbelievably terrified that me and D's relationship will fall apart again, there's nothing that could trigger that now, but i'm still so scared that it'll happen and our dreams really won't come true.

i wish i knew what the hell i was doing with college...because i don't know wether to go to houston with S's family, or stay here and attend other places after i graduate.

i wish i felt as strong as everyone says i am.

i wish i didn't have an ED that plagued me every moment of everyday.

[Licentia Poetica]

Hmm, I wonder if you've decided on college & all that yet. Generally when making decisions about schools/ courses/ subjects, I tend to stick to the rule that I go with what I would naturally enjoy/ where I want to go. If you're doing a course/ you're in a place you like then you're going to do better at that.

While it's not your fault you have an ED, you do have some control over your thoughts and feelings about it. Try to give yourself positive affirmations rather than negative, even if you don't believe them. Try putting in place some healthy rules like making sure you get enough vitamins through fruit & vegetables & you are getting some gentle exercise. Recognise that when you doubt yourself it's your illness talking and a healthy & confident person is a beautiful person.

Strength comes with fighting, with learning about yourself. & it seems to me that you're doing that.



Sometimes I wish I didn't have to fight so hard for things that are just part of other people's lives naturally. I know I'm lucky in a lot of ways, but there are just some things that are out of my reach sometimes, and it's frustrating that other people don't even have to *think* about some of the things that I can't do.

[izz]

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to fight so hard for things that are just part of other people's lives naturally. I know I'm lucky in a lot of ways, but there are just some things that are out of my reach sometimes, and it's frustrating that other people don't even have to *think* about some of the things that I can't do.

i can relate to this alot - - it's a common topic in "therapy for izz" time.

my therapist handles it in a really great way.

me: (much frustration) 'darnit how come it's so hard for me to do ___ when everyone else can do it without even thinking! "

her: (irritatingly calm, with a bit of smart-assery) really? everyone? are you sure?

me: well... uh... i mean, it seems that way (voice trailing off in mock-defeat, frustration wearing off, defeated by LOGIC).

my point:
one thing i'm learning (slowly, cuz i'm stubborn like that!), is that human experience is pretty universal. chances are, if you're going through something, someone somewhere else is going through the same thing. EVERYONE has areas in their lives which they have trouble in. the key is to learn to play with the cards you've been dealt. don't give up on those things that are difficult, but also realise that you have strengths and abilities that other people do not. everyone does.

for me...

haha i wish i would take my own advice.

no but seriously, i wish i knew how to open up to people. well i *know how* but i wish i could do it. it's like even though i have people who i love and who love me, i feel so closed off from the rest of the world and it's frustrating as hell sometimes. it's one of those things that i've declared other people can do so easily but i can't.

[recovering4me]

For the opening up to people just try it with little things pick one person to open up to with something small like that ur feeling sad or something and go from there. just start small...

i wish i could sleep beter at night and not be so exhausted by life
i wish i could love myself like others love me.

[Guest]

i don't have any advice about the sleeping thing, i don't sleep well at night either. sorry. but with the love thing, maybe you could ask people what they love about you, that might help you see the good things in you and you might come to love yourself.

i wish i could let go of my anger in a healthy way

[Neviah]

Maybe you could take up kick boxing or something. Try to get it all out without aiming it at other people. Sorry I'm not good with advice.

i wish i could accept my scars.

[fuyumi]

I wish I could give you advice, but I haven't come to terms with my own scars yet. Someone told me, when you can understand and forgive why they are there, why you felt like you had to take to causing them, and accepting that when they came into existance it was because you had no other way of coping, then you will feel comfortable with them there, or just forget them.


I wish I didn't have these violent moodswings all the time. I go from being more or less okay, to being so angry I want to cause someone physical harm, to being so sad all I can do is cry, to smiling at everything.

....and they change in a matter of minutes. All the time. I wish I could be rid them.

[Neviah]

Somebody taught me to draw my mood swings. Well, my emotions when the swings occur. have you tried that? it helps get out the emotion and make it more physical.

I wish i could deal with my emotions in a healthy way without getting angry.

[friarygirl]

Sometimes, getting angry IS a healthy way to deal with emotions, because we need to to be able to be angry about things that should not be.

So, if we're supposed to give advice to the previous poster, I'd say Nev, be angry if it feels right and positive.

I'd really like to know what to do with anger that has no real-life focus?

Sarah

[Licentia Poetica]

That's a hard one Sarah. I'm not sure. I have a hard time with depression that has no real- life focus. I find.. that the times I have a reason to be depressed are easier than the times I'm just depressed because.. I'm depressed. I once told this to my T & she maintained that all feelings stem from thoughts, even though sometimes we are so used to thinking this way, that we often don't notice we are. Maybe if you're feeling angry for what seems like no reason, go through everything you've been thinking over the last few hours & try to work it out - perhaps it was something that happened a month ago & you just happened to think about it for a second. Otherwise - bash the hell out of your pillow

*

Sometimes I'm so damn inspired. I'll just get excited about nothing in particular & suddenly everything seems possible - at the same time. I have all these ideas about a hundred projects simultaneously. But that happens for about an hour maybe every.. month. & that's in a good month. & most of the time I just don't have the enthusiasm to get out of bed.

I wish I could separate some of that enthusiasm, shove it in a bottle, let it pickle & let it out when I need it.

[5th section]

well...not sure if i'll be much good at advice but here we go...
Perhaps it might work to pick one of these hundreds of projects and sort of plan it out concretely - how it's going to unfold over the next few days, weeks, whatever - and exactly what you'll be doing about realising it (this might sound a bit vague but it depends what sort of "project" you're thinking of). Then it becomes more of an ongoing plan than just a good idea, and i don't know if that would be like keeping the enthusiasm in a bottle but it might help to keep it alive.

*

I wish I could stop setting myself impossible standards. Whatever goes wrong in my life, I'm always convinced that everyone else has done everything perfectly and I just failed to live up to it. The trouble is, I get so stuck in this way of thinking that everything that happens seems to confirm it. There must be a way to reverse it!

[recovering4me]

I wish I could stop setting myself impossible standards. Whatever goes wrong in my life, I'm always convinced that everyone else has done everything perfectly and I just failed to live up to it. The trouble is, I get so stuck in this way of thinking that everything that happens seems to confirm it. There must be a way to reverse it!

my advice to you would be to look at others who have failed and relize that nobody is perfect. (im the same way and need to work on this myself)

I wish I could come down from the mania and allow myself to just relax soon.

[Licentia Poetica]

I wish I could come down from the mania and allow myself to just relax soon.

I think by now you've probably come down Perhaps it's an idea to make a list of things you find that can try to calm you or relax you and make sure you have someone you can call during those times.

*

I wish I knew what to do when I'm so depressed I can't move, I can't even fathom the idea of living another second, I can't do my work or think or anything. Nothing seems to work

[PassingCloud]

have you tried a regular sleep schedule? and eating regularly, and eat lots of vitamins. (i know you have a problem with this, but you can maybe try to do it at least once a day, a full, healthy meal). positive self affirmations that i stick everywhere in the apartment (in this case in your room prolly) really work for me. i write down things like, "you can get through this, you're strong, etc."
also do something nice for yourself every single day. like take a hot bubble bath, buy a flower, buy a book, watch your favorite movie, re-read your favorite book, etc.

and if all this seems too much, just take some time off maybe? let yourself sleep and curl up in bed wiht a teddy bear. let yourself feel miserable for a bit and THEN do something nice for yourself (which is important, coz otherwise you#ll probably just keep feeling miserable... heh).

ok im out of suggestions now.






i wish i knew what to do so that i wouldn't panic everytime i have to read (means: attempt to study) for school. i've tried a bunch of things but nothing seems to help. always open for more suggestions because i really need to make it this time.

[(*Haven*)]

Take each section of your reading a part at a time. If you find it difficult to read, don't attempt to take it all in at once. Take your own notes over the readings too, the points that you feel are important. When you need to study for a test then, you have those notes and the notes you take in class if you take notes.

Take it one step at a time and allow yourself a break time from the reading. I hope this helps.



I wish I had as much faith in myself as my therapist has in me. This comes from the talks we've had about me going into the hospital. She believes that I'll know when I really need to go. But I'm not sure I ever will follow through. When do I take a step back from everything and realize that I may just need to go IP for a few days?

~*Haven*~

[WorkDaySarcasm]

if she believes that you will know when you do really need to go, then she probably is right. sorry thats not very advising. im just really saying go with her belief because she is suppose to help you and advise you well so you can get through to the other side.



im killing myself slowly in various ways and i want to start living again, i really want to make it, (even if thats not all of me that agrees) but i feel i can only do it standing on my own two feet because if someone else helps me, its as if im too weak to be left on my own. However saying all this so much as happened and i have finally realised that i want to tell someone (like a friend) about at least something of my feelings and my problem (from EDs to other things). i still dont want help but more someone to talk to.

But how can i do this? how can i tell them without overwheming them or making them think im crazy?

[Guest]

Firstly, I think it's really great that you've accepted, and realized that you do want to start living, and that you do want to make it, recover. It takes courage to say that, and you're brave.

Telling someone is a good idea, I think. Opening up helps. But make sure you tell someone you can trust, and that you can rely on. Tell someone you're close to - they won't think you're crazy. Not if they know you, and understand you.

Saying that, they might not understand completely how things are for you, but that doesn't mean they don't care.

Good luck.



I want to be thin.
Not fat.

[Arcadia]

Rachel, start swimming, it's my favourite kind of exercise, really good fun. Also cut the labels out of your clothes and start eating healthily - junk food makes us depressed and ruins our complexion anyway.



I wish I could get on with people better - i wish i liked them more

[Arcadia]

Rachel, start swimming, it's my favourite kind of exercise, really good fun. Also cut the labels out of your clothes and start eating healthily - junk food makes us depressed and ruins our complexion anyway.



I wish I could get on with people better - i wish i iked them more