Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

steady hands · Post by **steady hands** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 5:14 am

lang

i want to get fucked up.

so fucked up that i can't even stand.

marshmallowfluff · Post by **marshmallowfluff** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 6:54 pm

I am so ashamed about what i did today, and i fucking HATE myself for doing it. No matter how many times i say "ill never do it again" i know i will.

-- today i remembered something. i went to the hospital and i was in A & E for ages and the nurse left the computer on and went outta the room. i looked at the screen and all the urgent stuff was in red. there was a man who'd taken an overdose and i was so disgusted and wondered why people would want to do that. Now i do it regularly.

pms are fine.

red umbrellas · Post by **red umbrellas** » Tue Oct 17, 2006 5:26 am

i'm tired. i'm tired of trundling through, day after day. i exist. i don't live.
but then, i think that everyday is just another day closer to dying anyway. i guess i should make the most of it.

today is one year. and i don't really feel anything. i do...but it's faded. i'm fading.

MusicalMorphine · Post by **MusicalMorphine** » Tue Oct 17, 2006 6:40 pm

I hate it there already.

I can't do this anymore.

marshmallowfluff · Post by **marshmallowfluff** » Tue Oct 17, 2006 11:50 pm

- when i was walking home tonight i wished someone would have attacked me, then i'd have a reason to whinge.

pms are ok

red umbrellas · Post by **red umbrellas** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 12:37 am

i'm scared that it might fall apart.
on one hand, i think i want it to.
on the other, i think i'd go to pieces if it did.

and a lot of it is my fault. because i'm not normal.

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 8:43 am

I'm not looking forward to anything.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 7:53 pm

you don't know this but you're one step away from losing me forever

Scatterbrain · Post by **Scatterbrain** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 4:35 am

You have made such a difference in my life. You have seen the side of me that very few people get to see. I see the side of you that very few people get to see. Honestly, you have been like a father to me. Now its over. The last 3 years ended today. The season is over, and I will graduate without ever playing another round with you. I had the opportunity to talk to you today. Instead of saying what is really in my heart, we made small talk. I just wish I could tell you what you mean to me, and all the things you have done for me. I love you JM! But I can never tell you.

*comments welcome*

~Megan

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 2:43 pm

I make myself sick. And I'm not just saying that. The thought of me, makes me retch. So I don;t think about it. Now I have to think about it all day everyday. So while I'm trying to eat more I'm being sick more, because I hate myself that much.

pms ok

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 3:34 pm

I feel suicidal. But not irrational.

I feel totally clued in, able to make decisions, thinking logically.

Logic tells me I don't want this life anymore.

If there was a med that could change my life.. that would be another story.

But there isn't.

flipflopfetish · Post by **flipflopfetish** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 9:13 am

I feel like I'm drifting away from my close friends

K and G are not talking to me, and S lives on the wrong side of the world, so the time difference is too great. And even if it was not he would probably not talk to me.
Maybe I have abandonment issues... but it is more likely that I am just really unlikeable
*sigh*

PMs OK

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 4:32 pm

i was the one who text her off your phone, because i wanted to know if you were flirting with her and stuff behind my back because i don't believe you when you say you don't love her anymore.

i should feel guilty but i don't, i'm glad i did it because now i know for definite that you're being faithful

kkandb · Post by **kkandb** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 7:17 pm

pms ok

i started to si again.
i know i'm depressed and should get help.
but i don't feel like i deserve to feel good.

i'm a psych major and i should know better.
i'm afraid for my future.
i'm afraid my mental health is going to cancel out my education.

i wish i could go back to that dark place where i felt so bad that nothing mattered, because then i wouldn't have to try, i could just give up.
i know i'm taking the easy way out.
i know i could get out of this if i ever really tried.
but i'm so afraid.

everyone i know thinks i'm fearless.

i don't think i'll ever feel like a real person.
i can't see the similarities between me and them.
i feel like i am so incredibly less than them that i can't even think about trying to be one of them.

for a long time i've been trying not to think about these thoughts.
it feels good to give in.

black_23 · Post by **black_23** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 11:28 pm

Sometimes I miss si, it felt precious, mine something no one could take away, but you did. I miss it, I want to be able to do it and look after me.

red umbrellas · Post by **red umbrellas** » Mon Oct 23, 2006 2:42 am

i know what i'm doing is stupid. dangerous.
but...well, it can't be that bad. it's NOT that bad. that's the thing.
and even if it is, how the hell do i stop?

Peege · Post by **Peege** » Mon Oct 23, 2006 3:33 am

no comments

i think i've started bleeding. inside.

HiddenByLies · Post by **HiddenByLies** » Mon Oct 23, 2006 3:47 am

people keep telling me to go get help. to stop this all before i get in too deep. to be honest, i find comfort in knowing i will not get help until it is forced in my face, by someone other then myself. why? because it is not just about the weight. it is about hiding from this world and everything in it. if i hide behind numbers and the scale, i won't have time to worry about other things that depress me.
yea, i know, i'm fucked up

pms okay.

last_day · Post by **last_day** » Mon Oct 23, 2006 8:08 am

PMs ok. If you really want to.

I feel so stupid. Because I'm taking advanced classes, I'm making my brother feel bad- math was always his subject, but now his sister four years his younger, three grades behind, is taking a class one level behind him. I feel like I shouldn't be challenging myself if it hurts him, though I know that's not what he would want. It hurts me to think of him as... well, as depressed. I don't know what to do to help him... I don't even know if I can help. He's supposed to be applying to college, but he so stressed out he can't even keep his grades up. I don't know how to help.

It's making me feel depressed and rather empty- which has only led to SI.

_MessedUp_ · Post by **_MessedUp_** » Mon Oct 23, 2006 11:04 am

*PM'S OK*

Nan, I'm sorry i let uni and work get in the way of seeing you. I want you to know that i booked time of work so i could visit you in hospital, but you died the day before i came home. I never got to say goodbye and that breaks my heart. I tried so hard not to cry at the funeral, i was trying to be brave for mum, and i promise i'll look after her for you. i'm glad you're back with gan-gan now, deep down i think you always felt sad when he died and now you don't have to anymore. i can't believe you're not here and i'm so so sorry i never told you what an amazing person, and Nan you were. i miss you so much

------

Sometimes i want to die. Sometimes i think of ways that i can kill myself. Then i feel guilty for doing it. I want to die but i'm too much of a coward to go through with it.

------

A, that time at work, when you came out drinking with your friends and i was being really off with you, well that was when i'd SI'd at work. i've never told you cos i couldn't let you down. and i'm scared work would fire me if they knew i was a nutcase who cut herself

-----

i want to drink myself to death

bus

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