Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
If you don't approve of me then that's just tough. I've come so far and yes I trip up but Im trying. I might not be articulate and confident like you would like, but that just me, it doesn't make me anyless of a person. Your son is with me and is just starting to be proud of me too, just leave me alone. I just wish the fact you didnt approce didn't bother me so much
'Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life' Picasso
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
You know now how I feel about you and I wish I knew if you felt the same. I want to trust you, I want to believe you are being honest with me. I really hope you are and I have no evidence that your not. It's just that common sense suggests that if you lie to everyone else you care about, you probably lie to me and that only causes more hurt in the long run.
Please, please, be honest with me, it's all I ask of you.
Please, please, be honest with me, it's all I ask of you.
- Always look towards the sunshine and your shadows will fall behind you -
- Quiet little Angel
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7754
- Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:10 pm
- Location: somewhere between blue tulips and anxiety...
i'm so sorry... but i can't be really here now... i know i'm letting you all down... i'm supposed to be so good at this... i'm supposed to be active here... i'm supposed to be the one who listens and answers... this'll fuck up my grades and i'm eternally sorry... i'm sorry i'm no good to anyone working with me in groups... i'm so sorry... i know you all think i'm being wierd and closed... i know you all think i'm strange... i know it's my own fault that none of you care... that none of you notice me hurting... i try so hard to keep it from showing... but now it is... and i'm so sorry... so sorry... i just wish you'd notice... and hug me... just once...
sorry... so sorry...
(pm's ok i guess...)
sorry... so sorry...
(pm's ok i guess...)
/May
Never underestimate the power of silence...
micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand...
ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there?
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome
Never underestimate the power of silence...
micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand...
ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there?
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome
- Quiet little Angel
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7754
- Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:10 pm
- Location: somewhere between blue tulips and anxiety...
can i ever do anything right? will you ever think i'm good enough? just give me a break please... i'm never going to be like her... but please let me think i'm good enough just being me...
/May
Never underestimate the power of silence...
micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand...
ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there?
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome
Never underestimate the power of silence...
micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand...
ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there?
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome
- mephistopheles
- cow control
- Posts: 24355
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 4:40 pm
- Location: London
*lang*
I fuckin hate you right now. I know you think you were being funny but I'm tired and it just hurt. It hurt you bastard. you hurt me and didnt ring back. I know You've got no credit and I'm being needy. But still. It hurt. And I wont tell you.
- red umbrellas
- beyond inspiring
- Posts: 8175
- Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:50 am
- Location: Sydney
you know, i'm starting to wonder what to talk to you about....properly. speak to me, don't just want me. i don't want to be wanted, i need to be needed.
sometimes it's all starting to feel too unreal and i don't know how long i want it to be this way.
and to you all I WANT TO LIVE AGAIN. I WANT TO BE ME. I DON'T WANT RULES ANYMORE. I WANT TO BE FREE. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE HERE. BUT I DON'T THINK I WANT TO LIVE THERE/ I DON'T WANT TO BE THIS ME - I WANT TO BE THE OTHER ME.
sometimes it's all starting to feel too unreal and i don't know how long i want it to be this way.
and to you all I WANT TO LIVE AGAIN. I WANT TO BE ME. I DON'T WANT RULES ANYMORE. I WANT TO BE FREE. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE HERE. BUT I DON'T THINK I WANT TO LIVE THERE/ I DON'T WANT TO BE THIS ME - I WANT TO BE THE OTHER ME.
And excuses and excuses and excuses
Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella
- Catylyx
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1682
- Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 3:23 am
- Location: Finally in a place that i feel alive.
- Contact:
i want to stay here. in oklahoma. i want to live with friends, and share rent, and live pay check to pay check, and fight tooth and nail to make it.
i want to be poor and happy if thats what it takes. i want to be on my own. with noone but god and my heart to guide me.
and yes a major reason is daniel. i'll be the first to admit it. i love him. i want to spend the rest of my life with him, wether that changes or not i don't know. but i believe in it too much despite the flaws, depite the mistakes, despite the all out messed up things we do, to just give it up.
i fought too hard to keep him.
-----
i'm scared. i'm so so so scared that it'll all end in flames. that i'll be left here, fighting, and knowing that it was all a lie.
i don't want us to end up like my parents. i don't want us to end up like anyone other than us.
but i need two months away from this because i'm scared. i'm scared that i'm basing my life off of you too much. that i really will end up like my mom. i'm so scared.
i'm scared of having it all the time, but i'm even more scared to lose you altogether.
i'm confused and i'm trying so hard to give it to god...i'm trying. and i'm fighting. and i know you're there. and that you don't want me to do anything that could be bad...i love you so much.
it hurts to breath when i feel like i'm losing you.
please tell me i'm not.
i want to be poor and happy if thats what it takes. i want to be on my own. with noone but god and my heart to guide me.
and yes a major reason is daniel. i'll be the first to admit it. i love him. i want to spend the rest of my life with him, wether that changes or not i don't know. but i believe in it too much despite the flaws, depite the mistakes, despite the all out messed up things we do, to just give it up.
i fought too hard to keep him.
-----
i'm scared. i'm so so so scared that it'll all end in flames. that i'll be left here, fighting, and knowing that it was all a lie.
i don't want us to end up like my parents. i don't want us to end up like anyone other than us.
but i need two months away from this because i'm scared. i'm scared that i'm basing my life off of you too much. that i really will end up like my mom. i'm so scared.
i'm scared of having it all the time, but i'm even more scared to lose you altogether.
i'm confused and i'm trying so hard to give it to god...i'm trying. and i'm fighting. and i know you're there. and that you don't want me to do anything that could be bad...i love you so much.
it hurts to breath when i feel like i'm losing you.
please tell me i'm not.
<i>I am innocent and I have been set free
I no longer have chains around my feet
And no matter where I go or what they say
I am innocent</i> --Third Day
** 1 YEAR**~~back on the wagon 6/19/06~~
I no longer have chains around my feet
And no matter where I go or what they say
I am innocent</i> --Third Day
** 1 YEAR**~~back on the wagon 6/19/06~~
- mephistopheles
- cow control
- Posts: 24355
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 4:40 pm
- Location: London
- 5th section
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7753
- Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:06 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: if rain makes Britain great then Manchester is greater
- Contact:
I need you more than ever and I can't say it. I need someone to make the first move. Please notice something.
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
i cant do this right now cos i'm not believing anything i say to you to make you feel better. and i'm like a step away from not being here anymore and... i just cant be what you want me to be... i cant tell you its all going to be ok cos it isnt.
once, just once, it would be nice if YOU told ME that its all going to be alright... and that its alright to be the real me.
but then... you dont know the real me, do you?
once, just once, it would be nice if YOU told ME that its all going to be alright... and that its alright to be the real me.
but then... you dont know the real me, do you?
And the birds up on the wires and the telegraph poles
They can always fly away from this rain and this cold
Place
You're too good for me but i love you so much
xxx
xxx
If you think outside the box there's no such thing as square one.
No matter which sleeve you wear your heart,
Whichever way you wear your crown,
Tomorrow is another day to turn it all around
I will stop when I'm ready I'll shown everyone my cards
But for now I'll keep on playing even when the game gets hard.
19/07/1952 - 30/12/2013 Never Ever Forgotten
13/05/14 - I Love Her
19/4/15 - The Day I Said Yes
17/06/17 - Rings swapped, Hearts interlocked
<-- Marlo & Mookau-->
Caffiene Addict since 2004
Im obsessing and paranoid but have no one to tell. Im scared tht Im falling and I swore this wouldn't happen a again.
'Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life' Picasso
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
- mephistopheles
- cow control
- Posts: 24355
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 4:40 pm
- Location: London
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