Complacency

[tzanti]

This might sound a little hysterical, but I'm worried about getting complacent. I've been SI-free for about two and a half weeks on this streak, with some help from bus through a couple of rough bits. But now I have started to worry, or at least think about, what happens when I forget the days of 1+ SIs a day. Because when that happens it'll all start up again.

I've also started to broach the subject of my SI with my boss, who is also been a good friend for some years prior to me working for him. He has quite a handle on depression and self-destruction himself. But that is starting to feel far too easy, and maybe I need to just hedge a bit more. Self-destructive is as far as these conversations have gone. I'd probably best leave it there.

So any ideas how I cope with complacency, or that feeling that this is a plateau rather than part of the up-slope?

Hopefully this is me just being typically melodramatic.

T.

[Licentia Poetica]

If I were you, I wouldn't keep such a strong focus on my "days with SI" "days without SI".

I mean, obviously it depends on how strong you're feeling, and how many other good coping skills you have in place...

But when I was trying to stop SI I never counted my days, because it all seemed too rigid, too obsessive to me. Like I was walking on a tightrope & if I stopped counting my days and consciously trying to SI, then I would fall off. It's like not SI'ing was all I could think about.

My advice would be to try to congratulate yourself on your days without SI & then try to relax a little.

Do you honestly ever think you can become complacent? I don't think SI is ever something you can totally forget. It's just something you replace with different & better ways to cope. Once you realise these methods work better & more long term than SI, it should start to become easier to cope without it, and you won't have to think about it so much.

It's just a matter of getting used to your coping skills. So your mind automatically runs to them instead of SI.

I don't know if I'm answering your question very well