Dreaming and bad days________*SI* and *Language*

[tzanti]

This has been my longest patch of no SI in about 3 years. So that's good. Thing is, it keeps turning up in my dreams. I've had little sleep lately (my own fault, been LRPing so getting to bed about 3AM and having to be up in kit and full make-up for 10AM) but I keep dreaming about things that go wrong and hitting.

Most of my SI is impulsive, no warning, bang! That happens a lot. I don't get urges very often, or when I do they overwhelm me in minutes or seconds. But the last couple of days I've had little light urges when I get frustrated. Because I was busy, these didn't turn into anything.

Now I'm having a stupid frustrating crap morning where nothing works. Cell phone's died, email client is playing up, rest of the housemates have partied throught the weekend and the house looks like a fucking warzone and yet again nobody has bothered to buy any bleeding bogroll!

So now I'm just trying to not hit.

T.

[moo-moo]

i am so amazed that you haven't cut in three years. that is so good. if you get the urges, try to excerise, or talk to your friends, or my favorite, is whenever i feel like cutting, i just get a rubberband and snap it against my wrist. it makes the urge lessen, but the rubber band only hurts a smidge. hope you stay cut free, and good luck.

moo-moo

[Licentia Poetica]

Wow, congratulations on such a long time, well done.

It must be scary to be hurting yourself in your dreams, but try to remember that just because its in your dreams - it doesn't have to be reality.

Dreaming is an unconscious sorting out of things that your conscious mind is thinking. Your mind may be telling you that you are stressed, and reminding you of something you used to use as a coping mechanism. That doesn't mean you have to go back to it when you've been using healthier ones for 3 years.

Also, if you can get your sleeping pattern back to normal, your nightmares may disappear. I know when my pattern is all disturbed I tend to have strange nightmares/ sleep paralysis. Routine is the key.