Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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aaa906
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secrets

Post by aaa906 » Fri Aug 18, 2006 6:56 am

-- I lie too much, I'm drowning in all my lies
-- I love darkness, but I'm scared to be alone in the dark
-- I have told more about myself to my dog than any person
-- My ED is destroying my life
-- I get sad when I'm lonely, but I purposefuly isolate myself
-- I want someone to understand me
** Ali **

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flipflopfetish
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Post by flipflopfetish » Fri Aug 18, 2006 9:02 pm

I am a bitch, I alienate people, and I really want someone to read this and tell me they love me but no one does and the one person who seemed to care a little bit more is now not speaking to me and that is not fair because all my other friends are very nice to me & caring & shit it is my fault because I am demanding and paranoid and needy and ignore everything i've said here if you're reading this it's just me being fucked up emotionally.

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flipflopfetish
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Post by flipflopfetish » Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:10 am

no seriously, why does everyone leave?

pm*s requested

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MusicalMorphine
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Post by MusicalMorphine » Sat Aug 19, 2006 5:39 pm

I don't want you to know, not that you would believe it anyway, you don't need to know. And I don't want you to ask me questions like that. I'm fine as far as you need to know.

gin and kerosene
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Post by gin and kerosene » Sun Aug 20, 2006 5:18 am

im not all that happy and i cant even tell my parents
half the time i dont know what day it is cuz they are all the same to me

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Licentia Poetica
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Post by Licentia Poetica » Sun Aug 20, 2006 2:43 pm

Part of me is scared I'm not as miserable as I used to be years ago - and that I can't even tell the difference. That's how far up I still have to go :(
:redstar: the time to tell a person you care is now :redstar: the paper crane chain of hope :redstar:

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If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins

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half/hearted
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Post by half/hearted » Tue Aug 22, 2006 1:55 pm

*comments fine--PM*

Part of me wants more scars the way a punk rocker wants tattoos...even though it would be even harder to hide from my family.

I feel guilty (!?) for not SI'ing more seriously (my cuts are not deep and the scars fade quickly), even though I know this is a sign that my self-preservation instinct is alive and kicking, and part of me still loves me and protects me.

Part of me hates my mother.

.
.
.
Part of me wishes my mother had never stopped physically abusing me, so that I could call child protective services and get to go away from her :cry:
Please be gentle with me.

you will fly and you will crawl
god knows even angels fall
no such thing as you "lost it all"
god knows even angels fall :pinkstar:

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flipflopfetish
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Post by flipflopfetish » Wed Aug 23, 2006 7:53 am

fine, i'll admit it. i don't actually want to go to new york. it scares me that i'll have to be with my family for extended amounts of time.

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syn
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Post by syn » Wed Aug 23, 2006 8:00 am

I still have feelings for someone I haven't spoken to in 5? 6? years, and knew for a very short time. Even though I'm happily married.
~ Syn

with recognition we will grieve
that waking is the sorrow of ending dreams


expiation.org

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Wed Aug 23, 2006 10:07 am

I'm scared and happy about getting back together with him. Happy because I love him. Scared because it makes me vulnerable and I hate that feeling.

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April
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Post by April » Fri Aug 25, 2006 3:31 pm

Having left university, and moved to a new town, I realise I have no idea how to make friends in the 'real world.' It was so easy in uni.

*PMs okay*
My place -
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... 46#3134946

*HUGS AND PMS ALWAYS WELCOME*

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half/hearted
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Post by half/hearted » Fri Aug 25, 2006 6:19 pm

I obsess over rock bands and daydream about meeting them, but deep down I think that if we ever met, they'd be disgusted by me.
Please be gentle with me.

you will fly and you will crawl
god knows even angels fall
no such thing as you "lost it all"
god knows even angels fall :pinkstar:

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Sun Aug 27, 2006 2:40 pm

The other night when you told me how us being broken up had cut you to ribbons inside it made me really happy and proud because it proved to me that I handled it better than you did and that it was in fact you who got hurt and not me.

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Quiet little Angel
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Post by Quiet little Angel » Sun Aug 27, 2006 3:01 pm

i admit it... i've been planning to lie to him... pretend to send a text ment for someone else to him by mistake... just to have an excuse to ask him if he really dispices me that much... i want to lie cause that way i wouldn't look like that stupid once he says he doesn't want to date me... i lie too much IRL...
/May

:lblstar: Never underestimate the power of silence... :lblstar:
:lblstar: micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand... :lblstar:
:lblstar: ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there? :lblstar:
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome

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beautiful_facade
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Post by beautiful_facade » Sun Aug 27, 2006 4:07 pm

*PMs welcome*

i thought i had buried the things that happened, but i haven't at all.
As i start to get better and go out more, it's becoming more and more obvious.
i can't function around other people. i struggle to sustain friendships a lot of the time; relationships with the opposite sex are impossible.
So i get really drunk in order just to appear normal, and then i regret it.
i'm scared now that it always going to be this way. But at the same time, i don't want it to change.
<center>The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes but in having new eyes.
Proust

<a href="http://www.punkymoods.com" title="Punkymoods (Unkymoods redux): Showcase your current mood"><img src="http://www.punkymoods.com/mood.php?userid=2390" alt="My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)" border="0"></a>

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If I bore you, that is that. If I am clumsy, that may indicate partly the difficulty of my subject, and the seriousness with which I am trying to take what hold I can of it; more certainly, it will indicate my youth, my lack of mastery of my so-called art or craft, my lack perhaps of talent…
A piece of the body torn out by the roots might be more to the point.
James Agee.

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MusicalMorphine
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Post by MusicalMorphine » Sun Aug 27, 2006 5:38 pm

I care about you so much and you don't even know it. I can't even say anything to you because I know you wouldn't believe it. Plus I know both you and I are not the type of people to really talk that way. I don't know what to do.

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black_23
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Post by black_23 » Tue Aug 29, 2006 10:57 pm

I think im falling again, but im too scared to tell anyone. I feel gilty for moving away.
'Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life' Picasso

'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath


My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459

My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307

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Catylyx
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Post by Catylyx » Tue Aug 29, 2006 11:41 pm

i believe god brought us together. too many people have told us that to not believe that.


---

i doubt we'll make it to the 3 year mark before we both say screw it and go ahead and get married. but i'm okay with that. :)
<i>I am innocent and I have been set free
I no longer have chains around my feet
And no matter where I go or what they say
I am innocent</i> --Third Day
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** 1 YEAR**~~back on the wagon 6/19/06~~

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half/hearted
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Post by half/hearted » Wed Aug 30, 2006 2:29 am

Everything they say to me makes me feel worse, but I don't have the heart to tell them to **** off and leave me alone. :(
Please be gentle with me.

you will fly and you will crawl
god knows even angels fall
no such thing as you "lost it all"
god knows even angels fall :pinkstar:

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Aly
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Post by Aly » Wed Aug 30, 2006 3:40 am

I missed this place, but felt it was unhealthy for me to post everything here...Now I don't care how unhealthy it is...

I regret breaking up with him. More than anything I regret it. I wish I hadn't done it. I wished that before even 12 hours had gone by after doing it.

I let my pride get in the way. Every day I let my pride stop me from telling him how I feel, I let him slip further and further away.

I'm so far from happy with myself, and it all stemmed from when I broke up with myself. Because he loved me, I could love myself. Now I hate myself because I think he hates me. A bit of me thinks maybe I broke up with him so that I wouldn;t love myself anymore. I missing feeling the respect I had for myself now though. I miss knowing that he thought well of me, and if he did, then I could as well...



I blame myself entirely. Even if he'd broken up with me, I'd blame myself.



I think I'm hiding all my other problems behind this one, and am telling myself that all my negative feelings come from me doing this stupid stupid thing.



**Replies appreciated - I just want to know I've been heard**
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.


If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...

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