coping with parties?

[Weetzie Bat]

I was looking around and couldnt find anything on coping with parties or crowds.

just looking for some tips and advice because I'm going to a party tonight and theres going to be 40+ people.

I'm terrified. I always end up feeling bad and theres nowhere for me to escape to. Its my boyfriends party so I cant even leave early.

[Bwenda-wenda]

A few things that I've found help me:

Find one or two people that you know (or, if you're feeling brave, that you don't know) and spend time talking with them, getting to know them. There are usually a number of introverts at a party who would love to spend one-on-one time instead of whole group time, and the difference (I've noticed) between introverts who survive a party and those who don't is whether or not they were able to find those one-on-one conversations within the group.

Don't be afraid to just sit and watch. If you feel like you can't engage with the group, sit down and people watch--observe people and their interactions. It's fun . If someone asks why you're sitting down, you can say that you're a little tired, you're taking a break, you have a headache, or something like that.

If you feel like challenging yourself, challenge yourself to mingle and to engage with the more wild-and-crazy side of things. I did this recently at a wedding. At first, when people were dancing, I just sat and watched. After a while, it looked like people were having a lot of fun so I decided just to let loose for a little bit. I have NEVER had fun at a dance because I've always felt self conscious, but at this wedding I actually had an amazing time because I decided to just not care.

[scorpio19th]

Unfortunately, the method I used when I was younger is definitely not anything I'd recommend... drinking to excess.

But with a little maturity [and lots of hangovers] I discovered the beauty of the "people-watching" suggestion.

Don't look uncomfortable or embarrassed at being by yourself. Actually study a group of folks across the room, make up stories about them, watch their gestures.

Within five minutes, you'll probably find yourself enjoying it so much, your Mona Lisa smile will attract the attention of some other introvert who'll want to strike up a conversation with YOU.

Then, just take it from there, whatever feels right.

Later.

[plantt]

*nods* people-watching is good.

sometimes there are others who are people-watching.... & sometimes it's easier to start a conversation then....

offer to help. often there are 'little' things that can be done. helping pass around food, making sure the drinks stay cold... etc.

compliment people (so long as it's sincere). if someone has a really cool hairstyle or a shirt that looks extra-good.... tell them.

[Weetzie Bat]

thanks everyone.

the party didnt go amazingly but I survived the whole night.

I did alot of people watching and then one of my friends noticed I was down and came and tried to cheer me up.

I really really hate drunk people. Because people know i was in hospital recently they all started coming out with this 'your amazing' speech and then there were lots of kisses and hugs. so akward because I wasnt drunk.

there was a fight as well. One of my boyfriends, drunk, relatives took me to the bathroom with her so we didnt have to witness it, which was really nice of her.

its over. thank god. it'll be a long time before I go to another party.