How do you feel about your scars?

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Lynn
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Post by Lynn » Thu May 11, 2006 11:09 am

I used to not mind them. But now that it's short-sleeves time again I am really paranoid about people seeing them. I'm ashamed of them, they are ugly, they are easy to see (both my arms), there are weird lines and words visible. It's horrible. I've had people stare at my arms with huge eyes. A stranger asked me once: what the HECK happened to your arm?
And I just want people not to notice. Just by seeing my scars they know a lot about me and I don't like that.
I don't think I want all of them to dissapear (that would be like nothing ever happened), but I do want the big ones to go away, and the words to become unreadable or invisible...

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Post by b2753 » Fri May 12, 2006 2:21 pm

hey i hate my scars but its something that we haveto live with now we mad the choice to si and sa but we can take control of are feelings but my scars are somthing personal to me but i still hate them but ive beeing going to confesstion but i never told him about my sio problem but u hoping some day ill find hope and tell somebody but thats what i have to say about my scars :wink:
.: is this something i want, is this something i need, will it affect others or only me, why do i do this, i really cant understand why?:.
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Forget Me
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Post by Forget Me » Sat May 13, 2006 9:51 am

i LOVE my scars. love them. and i feel like a freak for it. but i love them. i dont know why. but i think in a way its why i still si so i guess thats bad. not always, its not the only reason, but sometiems i feel like they are going away so i need to make more, quick-quick. but i love them and i love that they mean something and have a story, or many stories, behind them.
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Post by redheadgirl1219 » Tue May 16, 2006 3:23 am

I dont mind my scars, its who I am and to me, it shows what Ive been through. But I hate people seeing them because of the comments I get. When I'm at home alone I'll show them but when I'm out I rarely wear anything that shows my legs off. I have really faded scars on my arm, but you can barely see them now.
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Hisforever
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Post by Hisforever » Tue May 16, 2006 4:19 am

I hate them... I try everything I can to hide them.

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Post by barnabygirl » Tue May 16, 2006 12:28 pm

i do actually love my scars too,, , i dont like to admit it.. but i only like them for my self,, they are MINE,, its my body and i own the right to carry them...

The bad thing is that ppl dont feel the same way,, and i hide it from everyone!!! well not my T and my bf,,, and a close friend,,,
But i never show a new cut,, ,, ever,, that is so private,, once its healed its ok,, for some to see,,
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Post by septemberstorm11 » Wed May 17, 2006 10:09 pm

removed.
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Post by jendifa » Wed May 31, 2006 10:59 pm

my scars go from my shoulders to my wrist on the outside on both arms although my left arm is worse. I hate them except when there a new ones as people are more likely to comment then. If they do, I lie but I always hope they will question my lie. I look other people wearing sleeveless tops unself-consiously and wish I could do that. Arnica cream works to fade them but then people wouldn't notice would they???

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Post by Seeshellz » Thu Jun 01, 2006 8:17 pm

Now that it's summer they are more noticable, and I don't like it.

They have faded because I haven't cut in a long while, but you can still see them and I hate that.

I don't really hate them though. They mean something to me. I hate that people can see them. I hate that I picked some visible places. But they do have meaning to me.

It sounds strange I guess. Love/Hate relationship.
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black_23
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Post by black_23 » Sun Jun 04, 2006 3:26 pm

Sometimes Im ok about them, other times I hate them. My mum once said that I shouldnt be ashamed the last thing i expected her to say about them, but I still am. Sometimes they trigger me to.
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ComfortablyNumb
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Post by ComfortablyNumb » Tue Jun 06, 2006 7:16 am

I find them triggering from time to time. I'm not ashamed of them per say but I am ashamed of the pain I put every single person I love through. It was never my plan to make them feel any drop of the amount of pain that I had ever felt that drove me to do such things, but I did, and I regret that more than any scar.

There is one that I am ashamed of, on my thigh, I placed something stupid there that I shouldn't have. But What am I going to do about that now?
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Post by lelijk lijk » Tue Jun 06, 2006 4:37 pm

i do not like my scars. but i can't always hide them. i have this problem with lying...and telling people i fell...or "Accidentally" burned mself on a the stove or something.

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Wandering
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Post by Wandering » Sun Jun 11, 2006 12:16 pm

I wish I had more/worse ones, because I feel that would show better the shit I've been through (I know thats twisted thinking, but you know what I mean) But at the same time I hate other people seeing them. It makes me so uncomfortable when people do see them. But I don't wish I didn't have them, they're part of me and where I've been.
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Silme Lor
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Post by Silme Lor » Sun Jun 11, 2006 5:19 pm

I hate mine because they remind me that no one knows and someone I love could still find out. They remind me that maybe I can't hide forever.
"And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom."

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Post by last_day » Mon Jun 12, 2006 1:27 am

I like mine most of the time. They're not in an obvious place, so no one has to see them. And, in fact, if people could see them, I think I'd hate them. It's odd...I'm almost proud of them...a lot more scarred than I thought would...I don't know. It's weird.

The only time when I don't like them is when I'm having a good time or soemthing and I go to the bathroom and see them...it makes me ashamed and kind of triggers me, ruining the moment, y'know? :roll:

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Post by leemc77 » Mon Jun 12, 2006 4:09 am

I'm embarassed by mine. Like others have said, now that there is warm weather, it's hard to keep your arms and legs covered. (The humidity in Virginia is brutal!) I'm a 4th grade teacher and my students notice them when I wear 3/4 or short sleeved shirts. Of course they are curious. One student, who I had last year, usually came to see my everyday. Everytime she would ask about the marks - finally she asked, "Do you do this to yourself?" I didn't know what to do or say - the I'm accident prone line didn't work anymore. My family members are always inspecting me, to make sure there are no new marks - what they don't know is that I SI in places they can't see. I use Mederma everyday, and some seem to fade, but I think they will always be there as a reminder of how stupid I am.

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Reflections
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Post by Reflections » Tue Jun 13, 2006 11:35 pm

Even though I haven't SI'd in over two years I'm still not comfortable with my scars (some in particular.) This is something I've struggled with for 8 years or so now. I used to always wish I could be ok with them and accept them, and believe me I have tried. I'm at the point now where I just want to move on. Being comfortable with them isn't important to me anymore - being able to get on with my life without this constant reminder is. That's why after so long I've finally decided to get a tattoo to at least cover the one I'm most uncomfortable with (from a suicde attempt 6 years ago.) At first I thought I shouldn't hide it and should just get over it, but then I realized it's my choice, and I don't -need- to have it visible, it's not a part of how I define myself. So, I came up with a really inspiring idea for it to signify my moving on, I found myself an excellent tattoo artist to draw it up for me, and in a little less than a month I'll be having it done.
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darkheart616
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Post by darkheart616 » Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:17 am

i believe my scars are in my past there to remind me that i can get better

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Post by silvertears » Wed Jun 21, 2006 10:32 pm

I like them for me. It reminds me of who I am . sometimes they trigger me and sometimes they sadden me. but I don't like others to notice them it makes me feel ashamed. I always turn my arms if I notice that someone is looking and usualy nobody says anything mainly b/c of the my actions.

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Post by Nemo » Wed Jun 21, 2006 10:40 pm

Not keen especially when they are fresh. I'm a student mental health nurse so i feel even worse about the idea of people knowing because as cruel as it sounds the divide between me being a professional and someone who suffers is smaller. Some nurses are very judgemental and so are some service user's themselves. I don't want people to ask me lots of questions all the time or talk about me. I don't want to feel that nurses could think 'how can she be a nurse' or a service user to think 'how can she look after me'.I'm pretty paranoid about the whole thing actually. Sometimes people do look at your scars and not at you which isn't very nice or they want to talk about them all the time because they are being very noisy and i don't like that either!
I think it is good when a person comes to a time and place where they don't care anymore and there scars are a part of them and a part of how they suffered but now they don't si. I'm no where near there yet! I'm not recovered as they would call it.

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