tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.
Moderators: Spidey, noldo
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last_day
- orange smartie

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by last_day » Fri Jun 02, 2006 3:20 am
Sorry, it's long and embarassing, so I made it small. I'm sorry for saying sorry when I know I don't have to.
I'm so scared that when you're gone I'm not going to be able to last. I'm not gonna be as strong, I'm not gonna be able to want to live. I'm gonna hurt myself, but there's nothing either of us can do.
I haven't hurt myself in a week, and I feel happier. Shouldn't I be glad? I don't want to get better. I don't want to be happy. I want to hate myself, I want to be depressed, I want to be able to hurt myself.
I wish I could talk. I wish I could say everything I want to. I also want to be able to hear when I'm trying to talk because that really hurts my conversational "skills".
Please kiss me? I'm too shy to kiss you.
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mephistopheles
- cow control

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by mephistopheles » Sat Jun 03, 2006 8:45 pm
I was terrified that you would say no.
Why didnt you say no?
I'm so fucking glad you didnt.
God, I want you. Please let you want me.
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”
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black_23
- quintessential regular

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by black_23 » Sat Jun 03, 2006 9:08 pm
I hate what you said to me, I feel worthless, yes I am being stupid but dont expect me to talk and smile after that I cant Im empty inside.
I'm scared it'll come back and I wont know where to stop.
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marshmallowfluff
- forum moderator emeritus

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by marshmallowfluff » Sat Jun 03, 2006 9:12 pm
i need you to understand me

"Dance like no one's watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like there's nobody listening.
And live like it's heaven on earth."
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Scatterbrain
- bus conductor

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by Scatterbrain » Sun Jun 04, 2006 7:37 am
I need you in my life, but if I tell you why, you will just run away...
I love you so much, and thank you for all you have done for me...
I dont know how to stop it, but I know it gets easier when you are around
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Callisto
- postmaster

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by Callisto » Mon Jun 05, 2006 11:41 am
I'm worried about you. I want to talk to you about stuff and suggest things but I'm not sure if you're ready to listen. I just wish you'd let me be here for you. I feel like you're keeping me on the outside on purpose.
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rosie605
- creating your space

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by rosie605 » Mon Jun 05, 2006 10:51 pm
comments are fine
* I feel gross, disgusting, worthless after sex, but I'm afraid to tell my husband
* sometimes I think I cut just so someone will ask me about it and I can tell them I was abused. I need attention like that.
* I want someone to be a mother to me, even though I'm 23 years old
But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it's sweet time
No, life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
"Teaching is the profession that makes all other professions possible."
http://lessonsoflife23.blogspot.com/
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~starblaze~
- knows the ropes

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by ~starblaze~ » Mon Jun 05, 2006 10:59 pm
if i dont know what to expect, dramatic television programs affect me far more than anyone knows
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barnabygirl
- bus addict

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by barnabygirl » Tue Jun 06, 2006 12:39 am
i wonder if i am either getting really sick or crazy,,
or if im making my self think i am getting sick because of psych lessons
a part of me think i can controll it, but i havent been able to do it yet..
You can PM me if you Wish, and you can HUG me all you WANT,,
"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give"
“The boat is safer anchored at the port; but that’s not the aim of boats.”
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ComfortablyNumb
- part of the fixtures

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by ComfortablyNumb » Tue Jun 06, 2006 7:10 am
*PMs Fine*
* Everyone tells me that I would be such a great mother one day. I'm 19. I shouldn't even be thinking about it, but sometimes when I do, I wonder how could I knowingly give birth to a child. What if they ended up doing this kind of stuff. What kind of mother would I be then, even if I'm no longer doing it, what if they found out, how the hell could I ever expect them to respect me then. Coincidently everyone who says I would be so great at it, are the people who never knew that I cut. Those who do, have very rarely if ever said it. So I think they think the same.
* I think I liked things better when I was still Si-ing religously.

<center> "You said I remind you of yourself tomorrow."
- Kurt Cobain
"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."
-Catcher in the Rye
my place </center>
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LexieK88
- unpacking boxes

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by LexieK88 » Wed Jun 07, 2006 1:29 am
I used sex to get what I wanted from you. You used what I wanted from you to get sex. I feel bad. Do you?
I'm sorry, really really sorry! Please forgive me.
~*~Lexie K.~*~
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flipflopfetish
- awe-inspiring

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by flipflopfetish » Fri Jun 09, 2006 6:06 am
i hate myself
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April
- building community

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by April » Fri Jun 09, 2006 10:47 pm
(Comments fine)

Sometimes I wish no one loved me. Then I could kill myself without upsetting anyone.

My mother is so pleased I didn't turn out like her. The truth is I just hide it better then she does.

I'm a slut who is cheating on her fiance with her best friend.
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Wandering
- town councillor

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by Wandering » Sat Jun 10, 2006 12:06 pm
(comments fine)
****slight SI trigs***
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- Everyone thinks I'm over SI, but I think I'm going to do it again. And I'm not gonna let them know.
- I still love him so much it hurts. 6 months since I last saw him. And he doesn't know
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***end trigs***
Perhaps one day this too will be pleasant to remember
Visitors welcome!!! :
My Place
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Lynds
- meeting the neighbors

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by Lynds » Sun Jun 11, 2006 9:26 pm
*PMs/comments ok*
WATCH OUT! There's a bit of SI, SU, SA mentioned...

I will never forgive you for leaving me even though you came back, you hurt me more than I think you realise

I'm scared about starting a family in the future becaue I read somewhere that SIers are something like 44% more likely to die by suicide than anyone else...how can I have kids when I might commit them to a life without a mother...?

I think I might have a BPD but I won't go and find out

I think I have a problem with alcohol

I believe I'm addicted to SI and sometimes I wish I had never stopped

Sometimes when I have sex I want to cry because it reminds me of how he made me feel and I don't want you to remind me of him
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black_23
- quintessential regular

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by black_23 » Sun Jun 11, 2006 9:51 pm
I miss si-ing sometimes, I want that out of control feeling just once in a while.
Yet at the same time Im scared its all coming back, scared of oding again or feeling that way.
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rustedrabbit
- settling in

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by rustedrabbit » Mon Jun 12, 2006 12:21 pm
**comments and ridicules welcome**the usual assrt. triggering stuff...but still casution
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sometimes i do even tho i know i shouldnt
i wish i had the guts to be what i want to be
im afraid that when i die...ill really be alone
im afraid that someone will learn just how fragile i really am
i hate myself
what if one day it isnt enough??
ive never been in love
im afraid that it really is all in my head,that im just making it up for attention
i shot someone when i was 14
i wanted to kill my stepfather(wait thats not a secret)
im afraid if i was " normal" noone would notice me..
i hit a girl, she hit me first, still im ashamed
im afraid to follow my dreams, what if someone laughs.
ok , thing about being honest with these is you have to see yourself in a new light...i prefer the shadows im alwasy in.cant see as much, then.cpmments and ridicules welcome...
"the darkness that had devoured me and made me as it was, would ahve surely made me its slave...except for you...your light shone so brightly on darkness that it could not remain...i was freed and made alive agian becasue you cared...becasue you chose to love me...even tho i no longer knew how to"
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amerylis
- board admin emeritus

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by amerylis » Tue Jun 13, 2006 10:27 am
Pms fine
I hate the fact that Im scard of so many irrational things the dark, spiders, moths, being alone....
I lose the two people that have held me together through college, i know uni wont stop you getting in touch, but neither of you know how much i rely on you. your help. your friendship.
even though i understand it, i cant cope when S shuts me out. I know why she does. i just need her too much.
~~Panda~~
6000 - 6999 - awe-inspiring
~my Place~ all welcome
To the world you are one person, but to one person you may be the world.
3 years SI free since May 2013
6 years SI free Jan 2007 - Feb 2013 with lapses in March/April 2013
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VowsOfSadness
- sock rocker

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by VowsOfSadness » Tue Jun 13, 2006 6:41 pm
I still feel sick when I think about it.
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rustedrabbit
- settling in

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by rustedrabbit » Tue Jun 13, 2006 11:08 pm
vowsofsadness....it wont alwasy be like that..........
im afraid its permanent...and i wont be able to overcome it. im already beaten. im jsut fooling myself thinking i can win...:hangs head casue knows its true:................R.R.
"the darkness that had devoured me and made me as it was, would ahve surely made me its slave...except for you...your light shone so brightly on darkness that it could not remain...i was freed and made alive agian becasue you cared...becasue you chose to love me...even tho i no longer knew how to"
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