my coping space

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Post by plantt » Thu May 11, 2006 9:10 am

i m proud of myself because i was able to cope , i remember posting about play doh and coloring here, and i did just that!
--good for you!! it's great that you were able to remember that you had ideas & that you were able to find them & do them :)

hmm draw siegfried? or your favorite disney character?

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Post by angelic212 » Sat May 13, 2006 1:52 am

im going to draw and color tonight and do a few collages just for fun

i found another thing that helps me with my anxiety and its a soothing lavander body lotion, it soothes me and it smells good.

im also going to watch movies tonight not sure which ones but tonight is movie night and art night for me!

yay for movies and art !

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Post by angelic212 » Sat May 13, 2006 8:22 pm

last night i did some drawings, watched a cinderella 2


one thing that always helps me with my anxiety is doing some stretching exercises and dancing while listening to music, i will try that today,
im pretty flexible, i used to dance ballet in the past and i love to dance,

you can just put your favorite music on and dance arouund like no one is watchinng you, it really helps with anxiety and depression

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Post by angelic212 » Sat May 13, 2006 11:28 pm

someone posted this a long time back so i thought i would post it here!

It's easy to get overwhelmed when dealing with all this stuff. Or when dealing with just regular everyday life, before one's dealt with the rest of the stuff.

One way we deal with overwhelm is to change our focus, so that the overwhelm itself becomes the problem to find a solution for, rather than whatever it is that drove us into overwhelm in the first place. Obviously this is not a complete strategy for life! - sooner or later one has to deal with the rest of it. But we don't deal well when we are overwhelmed, so we make a priority out of dealing with that. (The complementary strategy is, learn how to deal with the other stuff without getting overwhelmed as q uickly.)

Okay, so one thing we learned about getting overwhelmed or even just generally stressed, is that one tends to "downshift". What this means is that one starts losing the higher-functioning coping mechanisms -- like all this good nurturing stuff you may've started to learn to do. Did you ever wonder why you can't seem to remember to do that stuff when you really need it? Well, downshifting is why. (Thanks to Jaye for teaching us this!)

One way to cope with this is to make lists. We took the advice of the Courage to Heal workbook, and made a list that we literally carry around with us - it's in our wallet, folded up. This is a list of nurturing things for us to do when we are overwhelmed . They are not in any particular order, and we won't be able to do all of them at any given time, but they're there for when we know we are overwhelmed but that's about all we know.

Here's our list. There's nothing magic about it. Your list might be a little different, or completely different. If you'd like to share your list, too, email us & we'll put a link to it. You can be as anonymous as you like.

Remember to breathe

Put on favorite shirt

Wrap up in a blanket

Sit in a corner with something to hold

Drink chamomile or peppermint tea

Do a calming/centering dance

Listen to comfort music (eg George Winston "December")

Light a candle

Color or paint or draw

Write

Call someone

Go for a walk / sit or lie down outside

Read a children's book

Focus on one minute at a time; break tasks into tiny pieces

Turn it over, pray for comfort & courage

Drink a soda

Take a candlelit shower

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Post by angelic212 » Sun May 21, 2006 5:21 am

today i did 4 things to help me cope
and im really proud of myself

today i did the following things to help me cope:

:star: emailed a friend
:star: went to something fishy website for eating disorders recovery chatroom for support, instead of going to negative ed websites,
(im really proud of this )so another :star:


:star: did two drawings representiing how i was feeling and it helped

:star: played with play doh and also i called my therapist!

now im listening to itunes radio having fun listening to music, but in a little while im going to watch a dvd not sure which one though but im also going to do some work on my coping book tonight!

im really proud of myself !!!

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Post by angelic212 » Tue May 23, 2006 3:17 am

motivations for recovery

Coping Catalog -- Make a tiny book of coping strategies and
motivations to keep you on track toward recovery -- use index cards,
crayons, markers, colored pencils, stickers, etc. List the following
on your card:Title (i.e. a trigger such as binging, purging,
restricting, laxatives, eating out, obsessing, etc.); Reasons NOT to
engage in the behavior, coping strategies and alternative activities
and affirmations. Other cards you can include: emergency card with
phone numbers of support people; How my Eating Disorder has hurt me;
Things I am proud of about myself; Things I could do without my Eating
Disorder; and/or poems, extra quotes, affirmations, pictures, etc.
Make it YOURS!
================================================================================
I Love Me Cards -- Make your own personal deck of cards that also have
positive affirmations written on them -- you can use index cards and
cut them in half to make them smaller... they also come in all kinds
of wonderful colors now! Decorate them with stickers, drawings,
doodles or anything you like and keep them in a special place. Each
day when you wake up, close your eyes and pick three or four to carry
around with you for the day (in your pocket, purse, knapsack, wallet,
etc.) so when you feel like you are having a rough time or a stressful
moment you can pull them out as a way to remind yourself I am worth
it.
================================================================================
Varying Your Routine -- Try making small changes in your daily
routine... doing this helps you to be aware of your surroundings at
all times (rather than just "going through the motions"). Some
examples are: brushing your teeth with the opposite hand or in a
different bathroom, putting your pants on before your socks if you
normally put your socks on first, driving to work/school a new way,
shopping at a different market each time you go -- be creative...
think about your routine and how you can change it!
Safe Things -- Pick an item or a special smell that is safe to you --
for example, if you had a grandmother who wore a certain kind of
perfume, or a special necklace someone gave you -- and care it around
with you. When things feel stressful use the smell or item to help
keep you grounded.
================================================================================
Think About Emotional Eating -- When you are feeling the urge to
binge, purge or restrict think about what you are feeling. Write down
the emotions and thoughts that are going through your mind... then
write down what you are considering doing as a way to cope (binging,
purging, restricting) and why. Now come up with more positive ways to
cope with the moment and write them down... Just by doing this
exercise you have already started to cope with your emotions and will
have positive ideas for next time!
================================================================================
Dear Eating Disorder -- Write a letter to your Eating Disorder... you
can call it "Eating Disorder" or you can give it a name. Include in
the letter all the things you HATE about it and what it is keeping you
from doing in your life. Tell it all the positive things you think
you'd be without it there inhibiting you. Yell at it for what it has
done to you physically... and tell it why you want it to be out of
your life forever. Now get ready to "mail" it -- fold or crumple it
up, rip it up if you want to, burn it or destroy it in some unique
fashion! This is an exercise you can do more than once and a great way
to release anger and frustration over how hard recovery can be at
times!
Dear Me -- Go out and treat yourself to some nice stationary, or make
your own stationary with crayons, markers, stickers, colorful paper,
etc. Write a nice letter to yourself -- include why you think you're a
good person, your goals and dreams for the future and what you want to
do, and the things about your personality that you like. Thank
yourself for being alive! You can also include reminders as to why you
want to recover or the ways you feel you'll be free without the Eating
Disorder. Put it in an envelope, addressed to yourself and mail it!
When you receive it in a few days treat it as though it is a letter
from someone very special (because it is!) -- open it and read it in a
quiet place when you are alone, or save it to read when things feel
tough. You can do this as many time as you like... not only is the
letter writing process a coping idea, but receiving it again and
reading it a few days later helps keep you feeling good about
yourself!
================================================================================================================================
You Time -- Schedule time that is you time... this is time you spend
doing something positive YOU like to do... if you have a hard time at
first finding things to spend time doing check out the ways to cope
list for some ideas! You should start off with at least two hours a
week and work up from there.
================================================================================================================================
Happy Recovery Day -- Go out and buy little gifts for yourself --
candles, incense, bubble bath, small books, earrings, all kinds of
things you like (that range from $1 to $15 or $20) -- wrap them up in
wrapping paper and address them to yourself, then put them in a
special place. For each personal stride you make in your recovery
(like for example, if you went the day without purging, or followed a
healthy meal plan, etc.) award yourself one of the gifts! When you run
out, make sure to go and buy some more

(from the something fishy website forr eating disorders)

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Post by angelic212 » Tue May 23, 2006 3:19 am

this is something im going to try i thought it might help you all

here is something i found on a message board that i found on the
internet yesterday ,,

its to put a star in you r calendar by following this, you can add
your things here taht you can get a star for

I get a star for:

treating myself or doing something to cheer myself up when I'm depressed

healthy things I do to help me relax or calm myself down when I'm anxious

doing CBT, DBT or other self-help stuff

exercise lasting 10 minutes or more (20 mins for walking)

achieving any mental-health-related goals I set myself

anything on my "positive things I want to do for myself" list (though
buying things doesn't count if I can't afford them!)

consciously choosing not to SI, binge, etc in a situation where
that's difficult for me

subtitling at least 25 mins of programme in a day at work

doing anything that's good for me that I find very difficult or scary

meeting all three of my daily goals

recognising that I need to slow down or have some time out and doing so

When I get 20 stars, I can buy myself a book, CD, DVD, Lush product, etc.

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Post by angelic212 » Tue May 23, 2006 3:20 am

some quotes i like>

Grant me the serentiy to accept the things I cannot change, the
courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the
difference.

"In those times of trouble when all appears lost, it's vitally
important to cling to your hopes and dreams tighter than ever before.
In those dispiriting moments when the world tells you to give up and
give in, hope whispers, 'Try it one more time.' You can never give up
hope. Never!

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so
long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened
for us"

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as
you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with
too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsens

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world"

"Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear

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Post by angelic212 » Tue May 23, 2006 3:22 am

when feeling overwhelemed:

(something i found)

It's easy to get overwhelmed when dealing with all this stuff. Or when
dealing with just regular everyday life, before one's dealt with the
rest of the stuff.

One way we deal with overwhelm is to change our focus, so that the
overwhelm itself becomes the problem to find a solution for, rather
than whatever it is that drove us into overwhelm in the first place.
Obviously this is not a complete strategy for life! - sooner or later
one has to deal with the rest of it. But we don't deal well when we
are overwhelmed, so we make a priority out of dealing with that. (The
complementary strategy is, learn how to deal with the other stuff
without getting overwhelmed as q uickly.)

Okay, so one thing we learned about getting overwhelmed or even just
generally stressed, is that one tends to "downshift". What this means
is that one starts losing the higher-functioning coping mechanisms --
like all this good nurturing stuff you may've started to learn to do.
Did you ever wonder why you can't seem to remember to do that stuff
when you really need it? Well, downshifting is why. (Thanks to Jaye
for teaching us this!)

One way to cope with this is to make lists. We took the advice of the
Courage to Heal workbook, and made a list that we literally carry
around with us - it's in our wallet, folded up. This is a list of
nurturing things for us to do when we are overwhelmed . They are not
in any particular order, and we won't be able to do all of them at any
given time, but they're there for when we know we are overwhelmed but
that's about all we know.

Here's our list. There's nothing magic about it. Your list might be a
little different, or completely different. If you'd like to share your
list, too, email us & we'll put a link to it. You can be as anonymous
as you like.

Remember to breathe

Put on favorite shirt

Wrap up in a blanket

Sit in a corner with something to hold

Drink chamomile or peppermint tea

Do a calming/centering dance

Listen to comfort music (eg George Winston "December")

Light a candle

Color or paint or draw

Write

Call someone

Go for a walk / sit or lie down outside

Read a children's book

Focus on one minute at a time; break tasks into tiny pieces

Turn it over, pray for comfort & courage

Drink a soda

Take a candlelit shower

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Post by pointeless » Wed May 24, 2006 1:50 pm

Wow I just wanted to say how helpful this thread has bin to me just reading it over now, thanks :) I'm facing a rather triggery situ today so some of it may really come in handy...
<a href="http://www.freewebs.com/sjhemming/">Visit My Website</a>

http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=83255 - My poetry/Art Den

Image
With eternal gratefullness n thanks to pink elephant for the graphic x

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Post by angelic212 » Wed May 24, 2006 9:22 pm

this was posted before by another busser, it is an older post so i thouhgt i should post it here in my coping space because it is helpful

================================================

when you're feeling stressed, depressed or suicidal... this game might just help. i'm not sure if its been covered before, but what the heck, i might as well try do my bit

try to name..
5 things you can see
4 things you can feel [physically feel, like the carpet on your feet]
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing that gives you strength

*this one is harder, you dont have to do it if you dont want, you can just do the first*

try to name...
10 people who have been nice on the BUS boards
9 people you are, or would like to be friends with
8 people in your family
7 people you have helped in your life
6 people who have tried, or have just helped YOU in your life
5 people you know are your friends, or who care
4 people you would like to care
3 people who love you
2 people who want to help you
1 person you want to help you

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Post by whypie » Wed May 24, 2006 9:27 pm

That looks really good! I'm gonna save that.

Thanks

:)

Take care
[My Place]



*Hugs are always welcome*

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Post by angelic212 » Fri Jun 02, 2006 12:45 pm

lately i have been having a tough time, so today im planning on working on this that i posted a while back.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Coping Catalog -- Make a tiny book of coping strategies and
motivations to keep you on track toward recovery -- use index cards,
crayons, markers, colored pencils, stickers, etc. List the following
on your card:Title (i.e. a trigger such as binging, purging,
restricting, laxatives, eating out, obsessing, etc.); Reasons NOT to
engage in the behavior, coping strategies and alternative activities
and affirmations. Other cards you can include: emergency card with
phone numbers of support people; How my Eating Disorder has hurt me;
Things I am proud of about myself; Things I could do without my Eating
Disorder; and/or poems, extra quotes, affirmations, pictures, etc.
Make it YOURS!

===============================================

this is what im going to work on today im going to the store and by a small hello kitty picture album, and note cards and do this, im going on a trip on the 17th of this month so im planning on taking it with me, i have been working on a coping /recovery book but i want to make it smaller so it can fit in my backpack, my backpack is kind of small to medium size,

it just stopped raining it was raining really hard about an hour ago at 5am, im planning on going to the store at 10am i have some money that ihave saved up and im going to buy me something special,
im going to buy me a small notebook for postive stuff only, and i will write positive tthings in it only, like quotes, affirmations, put pictures that are positive or make positive drawings,

well i guess this is it for now , it is helpful for me to read through this thread,

i want to thank plantt! for reminding me of my coping space
thanks plantt!

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Post by Spidey » Fri Jun 02, 2006 8:03 pm

hey, if you're comfortable with it, could you post your coping catalog here?
there is, in the end, the letting go.
-marya hornbacher

spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)

:cowave:

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Post by irishpecas14 » Fri Jun 02, 2006 8:56 pm

i just wanted to say that i just stumbled on this and i love it... it's given me so many new ideas... thanks for posting it :)

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Post by angelic212 » Fri Jun 09, 2006 8:40 pm

i havent been doing so well with coping lately,

i have read through my coping space, found some helpul stuff to work on today, i think i m going to do some drawings, my post them later

things i will do today:

:star: do some drawings and color them

:star: work on my coping/recovery book in a way that im actually going to use it.

:star: reorganize my distraction box and use it

:star: surf the internet and play computer games

:star: watch movies

===============================================
(may trigger)
right now im feeeling kind of down and depressed , i feel like crying myself to sleep and taking a couple of pain killers, eventhough i dont need to take pain killers, i just want to numb myself,

need support right now, im not coping too well today, im listening to music right now but i might walk on the threadmill for 30 minutes in a little while im going to write in my paper journal now.

maybe iw ill post more later.

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Post by angelic212 » Fri Jun 16, 2006 8:43 pm

The following are suggestions to get you started on managing the stress in your life.

1. Recognize your symptoms of stress.

2. Look at your lifestyle and see what can be changed -- in your work situation, your family situation, or your schedule.

3. Use relaxation techniques - yoga, meditation, deep breathing, or massage.

4. Exercise - Physical activity is one of the most effective stress remedies around!

5. Time management - Do essential tasks and prioritize the others. Consider those who may be affected by your decisions, such as family and friends. Use a check list; you will receieve satisfaction as you check off completed jobs!

6. Watch your diet - Alcohol, caffeine, sugar, fats and tobacco all put a strain on your body's ability to cope with stress. A diet with a balance of fruits, vegetables, whole grains and foods high in protein but low in fat will help create optimum health. Contact your local Heart and Stroke Foundation for information about healthy eating.

7. Get enough rest and sleep.

8. Talk with others - Talk with friends, professional counsellors, support groups or relatives about what's bothering you.

9. Help otheres - Volunteer work can be an effective and satisfying stress reducer.

10. Get away for awhile - Read a book, watch a movie, play a game, listen to music or go on vacation. Leave yourself some time that's just for you.

11. Work off your anger - Get physically active, dig in the garden, start a project, get your spring cleaning done.

12. Give in occasionally- Avoid quarrels whenever possible.

13. Tackle one thing at a time. Don't do too much at once.

14. Don't try to be perfect.

15. Ease up on criticism of others.

16. Don't be too competitive.

17. Make the first move to be friendly.

18. HAVE SOME FUN!! Laugh with people you enjoy!

STRESS STRETCH
When you are under stress, tension accumulates in your neck and jaw. Take a minute to gently and slowly move your head from front to back, side to side, and in a full circle. For your jaw, stretch your mouth open and slowly move your lower jaw from side to side and front to back. (NOTE: If you notice pain or if you have had any injuries to your back, neck or jaw, check with your doctor first.)

SET A SMART GOAL (and achieve it!)
Unrealistic goals that never seem to be reached add to your stress level. Try setting one goal for youself this week using the SMART approach:

Specific - Pick one small goal and write it down.
Measurable - Can you count it or check it off a list?
Achievable - Is it realistic? If not, make it smaller.
Rewarded - Reward yourself when you reach your goal.
Time-limited - Set a specific, realistic date to finish or achieve your goal.

COMEDY BREAK - Laugh at Stress
Set aside some time for laughter, your body's natural stress-release mechanism. Rent your favorite comedy video. Tape a TV show that you know makes you laugh and keep it on hand for stress emergencies. Go to the library and borrow a book that can make you laugh. Read the daily comics in the newspaper. Or, phone the funniest person you know!

WALKING BREAKS
Walk away from Stress Instead of sitting down for another cup of stress-inducing caffeine on your coffee break, lunch hour or when you're at home...try going for a stress-relieving and energizing walk. If you don't like walking by yourself, try forming a walking club with two or three of your co-workers or friends

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Post by angelic212 » Tue Jul 04, 2006 12:29 am

=======================================
Keep Busy with Positive Thoughts Visualize and replace the negative thoughts with affirmations. This will keep your mind so busy that it won't have time to dwell on anything negative.

==============================================================================Become AWARE of your thoughts and feelings Explore your negative emotions such as anger, frustration, jealousy, envy, annoyance, blame, resentment, impatience, and hostility. Remind yourself that that you can choose to stay with the thought/feeling or you can choose to cancel it and replace it with another thought/feeling

Replace any negative thoughts with affirmations An affirmation is a short statement, stated in a present tense, of how you would like to be at this moment in time. Write down affirmations and put them on your bathroom mirror. Every morning, after you brush your teeth, say them out loud! The more you say it, the more you will believe it.

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Post by angelic212 » Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:13 pm

im having a hard time today but today i did several things to help me cope

i came here and posted on the main board

i cleaned /organized my room

now im burning a cd

and im also watching a movie

and im taking a break cause my back hurts from carrying boxes and stuff in my room im proud of myself because i have been able to cope still struggling but will continue using my coping alternatives

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Post by angelic212 » Thu Jul 06, 2006 4:46 am

okay so today I

went out to the hair dresser, and got a hair cut, i went out with my mom to see if my depression would go away for a while, and it did for a while

i saw my favorite tv shows, and

i wrote in my journal this morning,

and will write in my journal tonigt before going to bed,

this is how i coped today, and it kind of helped me, oh and i also made a cd of alternative rock music, and i really like my cd that i made, im going to make another music mix for a new cd tonight so i can listen to it when i go to bed,

i hope that my ideas on how i cope are helping you all, i will try to post here daily, i will post how i coped during the day , as a reminder for a next time i feel the same way, this is my coping space, it will remain positive, there will be no negativity here. or at least i will try to keep it positive.

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