Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

fortune · Post by **fortune** » Thu May 18, 2006 11:42 am

- i'm in love with my best-friend (i think i'm bisexual because i'm attracted to her and boys as well) and i hate myself for it, i can never tell her - i don't think i could stand to lose her

- death doesn't scare me anymore

- i secretly wanted to be admitted to hospital last time i confessed su thoughts

- i think my ex-step-dad may have sexually assaulted me but... i can't remember

- sometimes i'm not sure i want to get better

PM's are ok

Skyeler · Post by **Skyeler** » Thu May 18, 2006 2:42 pm

There's something rotting in my studio
I can smell it
I just can't find it.

Catylyx · Post by **Catylyx** » Thu May 18, 2006 7:20 pm

i told him that i was okay. that us doing stuff didn't bother me anymore.

i lied.

i'm still not okay with my SA.

and even worse...i'm nowhere near okay with him having sa'ed someone. i met her. that made it worse.

-- i want to take a knife to all the parts of me that aren't good anymore.

--i'm still su. but you don't know that.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Thu May 18, 2006 7:33 pm

I spend all my life pretending to be ok, pretending to be stronger than I am, pretending that people's stereotyping and hurtful comments don't phase me but it's all a lie.

All I really want is someone to notice I'm not ok and take care of me.

Post by **Spidey** » Thu May 18, 2006 9:22 pm

I have no intentions.

I just don't care.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Thu May 18, 2006 9:33 pm

candiperfumegirl · Post by **candiperfumegirl** » Fri May 19, 2006 1:33 am

people who use "americans" as a dirty word make me so mad i want to hurt someone. If you don't like america don't ever fucking visit here then. and don't talk to me because saying you hate americans also means you hate me.

~starblaze~ · Post by **~starblaze~** » Sat May 20, 2006 3:41 pm

there are times when i feel ive wasted the last two years of my life, not achieving anything and losing touch with those that i was closest to. In some ways ive changed for the better, and some for the worse and in some ways i still wish i was still at my old school where i was happier

_____iamacliche · Post by **_____iamacliche** » Sun May 21, 2006 1:08 pm

i'm not coping with this right now and i don't know how to tell you.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Sun May 21, 2006 10:48 pm

--I'm sick of fighting to be heard. I'm sick of having to shout to have you see my emotions.

--I keep telling people that I'll try and get help...but deep down I think I'm too paralysed by my own fear to ever go through with it.

--I'm tired...I'm tired of living like this. I'm tired of being told by almost everyone that I don't understand what they're going through, that my feelings are pointless, that my death would hurt them. I know it would hurt them, but I can't bring myself to care. My feelings aren't pointless. I do understand. Why can't you just trust me? Why can't you let me have my feelings?

--I'm crumbling. I know I am. I know that if I let the fear take over and I don't get help I won't last the summer without another su attempt. And yet part of me wants to fall apart that bad, because its the only way I know of to make people see that I'm not ok and make people listen to me.

wish · Post by **wish** » Mon May 22, 2006 1:42 am

sometimes i wish i was all alone,lived alone,had no friends etc just so i can si in peace.not that i think anyone thinks anythings off even if they do see something.but it would just mean i could relax and do what i wanted.but then i spose id only get worse if that was the case.sometimes i want to be worse,lots lots worse

PaintedBird · Post by **PaintedBird** » Mon May 22, 2006 5:28 am

**Please PM me!** Trigger Warning! SI,SU,ED,Language

-I pray to God and ask him to please take me.

-The first time I cut I laughed because the damn razor was so dull.

-I'm a worthless ugly fat ass with acne

-I know I should lose weight,but I keep eating and eating and eating!I can't stop.Eating gives me comfort that I crave.Food isn't mean to me,it is just tasty and keeps my tummy nice and full.

-I fucking hate this town and want to get out of here as soon as possible.There is no way in hell I'm staying here to go to college.

-Sometimes I "self harm" by eating lots of food when I'm angry.Every day I make plans to lose weight and I mess them up every time.

-I want to punch my abusive brother.I want to throw him out the window.

-Sometimes I punch my stupid bitchy ungrateful piece of shit yet everyone treats her like a baby sister.I get so angry,I can't control myself.

-I'm hating my mom and my dad for wanting to take away my meds and claiming that I'm not depressed.Hello,you idiots,I have not told you the whole story!

-I cut and haven't told my parents,or doctor,or guidance counselor.My doc and guidance counselor have asked.

-I was thinking about suicide seriously a few months ago.I felt so...drawn to poisons in my house.I can't describe it,but I am sure that I almost did it.

-I want hugs and kisses.Lots of hugs and kisses.I cry because I'm lonely all the time.

-I have no friends.I look forward to my counselor to visit with me.I think she's bored of me already.I need someone to be with.

-I cry at night.I want to be a child again.I want to be loved and cared for and would like to do babyish things.I cry so much.

-I cut when I run out of tears.

-I love my Effexor but my mom hates it and hates my doc.I could gladly take it all my life.

-Sometimes I'm too sad to do my homework,brush my teeth,take a shower,comb my hair,or make an effort to look decent.

-I don't know what I want to do with my future.Last year I had my career figured out,but after depression hit,I have not been drawn to any careers.I just don't think of the future.

-I think of my boyfriend as my daddy.

-I was molested by a girl when I was 10.It felt wrong,but I let her because I wanted to be her friend.

~starblaze~ · Post by **~starblaze~** » Mon May 22, 2006 2:28 pm

I secretly wish that that phonecall i missed earlier was from you but i know there is no way it could be as your over the other side of the world and i havent heard from you yet since youve been on holiday, there isnt going to be any way in which you would ring me now. It would do me the world of good to hear from you though, i understand your too busy for that though.

~starblaze~ · Post by **~starblaze~** » Mon May 22, 2006 8:45 pm

i look at the pictures of myself that judy sent me of me and her, i look thin, still ugly but not fat. So why when i look down at my own body do i see so much fat, especially on my tummy and legs.

Reisu · Post by **Reisu** » Mon May 22, 2006 10:22 pm

i love you. i love you i love you i love you i love you and im sorry.

flipflopfetish · Post by **flipflopfetish** » Tue May 23, 2006 4:50 am

i'm pulling away again, but am i right that i'm not wanted?

barnabygirl · Post by **barnabygirl** » Tue May 23, 2006 8:13 am

I pretend to diet, when im really doing it to harm my self and suffer, rather then to be skinny.

I wanted her to set me stright, but when she did, it still felt like i didnt matter all that much....

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Wed May 24, 2006 5:22 pm

People don't understand why I'm so sensitive about jokes to do with my weight and my looks.....and I don't know how to tell them in case they laugh at me for that too. They don't understand that I still look in the mirror and want to destroy my reflection because she's not pretty enough and she never will be, she'll always be the ugly little brat that had no friends.

*.*Black_Star*.* · Post by ***.*Black_Star*.*** » Wed May 24, 2006 9:15 pm

i've missed you.........

~starblaze~ · Post by **~starblaze~** » Wed May 24, 2006 10:02 pm

People say i should put on weight, but i am and its making me feel sick. To see my hips like they are has made me want to cut down again, especially on all the crap i have been stuffing my face with recently. I want to be thin. But more than that, i want to be happy. Thinner would still equal happier in my mind.

Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

Who is online