Things Left Unsaid *LA*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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mephistopheles
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Post by mephistopheles » Thu May 18, 2006 1:02 pm

I didnt mean to hurt anybody. I just dont think.

I'm a fuck-up and I'm sorry.
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”

~starblaze~
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Post by ~starblaze~ » Thu May 18, 2006 9:00 pm

ive just checked things and found out you were on them a day ago, why didnt you email me or something? it hurts that you havent :cry:

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black_23
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Post by black_23 » Thu May 18, 2006 10:44 pm

If ive done something wrong tell me, dont have a go at me behind my back, cos i can't deal with it right now.

Do you love me? I don't know.......
'Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life' Picasso

'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath


My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459

My Place
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slinky
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Post by slinky » Fri May 19, 2006 10:00 am

Everything will be ok as long as we have each other. I know its a scary time but things will work out. Its something everyone has to do and I can understand why you'd feel worried. But things will be ok, I promise. I'll be here for you always.
Pray now baby. Pray your life was just a dream... just a dream.

~X~

In my nothing, you meant everything, everything to me.

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Catylyx
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Post by Catylyx » Fri May 19, 2006 6:10 pm

R: i love you. i hope everything will be okay again...please let me kiss you...

D: even though i know you're still lying about stuff that happened. i do believe you regret it. that you realize you fucked up and lost something you'd never had before. but i forgive you. i still love you, but differently now. i'd rather have you as a friend, than lose you and everyone else completely because i'm avoiding you.

B: i love you. i'm sorry this is happening. it hurts...and i wish it didn't hurt you. i wish i could make it all better and go away.

N: i love you so much...i going to miss you more than i already do. i can't wait to see you next sunday.
<i>I am innocent and I have been set free
I no longer have chains around my feet
And no matter where I go or what they say
I am innocent</i> --Third Day
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** 1 YEAR**~~back on the wagon 6/19/06~~

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barnabygirl
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Post by barnabygirl » Fri May 19, 2006 7:30 pm

Just love me some..... just say what i mean to you,,, why dont you say? does it mean that i dont really matter?
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You can PM me if you Wish, and you can HUG me all you WANT,,

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give"

“The boat is safer anchored at the port; but that’s not the aim of boats.”

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ViolinPlayingGoat
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Post by ViolinPlayingGoat » Fri May 19, 2006 10:04 pm

i'm worried about you.
i wish i was allowed to tell you that.
'cos i am a rocket on fire[[alone on its journey, home to the quickening ground with no-one there to catch it]]
-kate bush

You do it to yourself, you do, that's what really hurts,
you do it to yourself, just you, you and no-one else
{radiohead}

*~*happiness isn't happiness without a violin playing goat*~*

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Sat May 20, 2006 11:17 pm

I wish....I wish you weren't so understanding....it just makes everything harder, worse, cut deeper....makes me hate myself more for not being able to stop and not wanting to either.

I'm so sorry baby, I'm sorry I'm such a failure of a human being.

I love you.

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bexy
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Post by bexy » Sun May 21, 2006 1:54 am

but can't you see that I'm trying my best to cope but I can't? I am trying so so hard to stay calm and happy and not react, but I just can't right now. I have no place to go to get out of his way so he takes it out on me and should be the mature one and walk away, but all I want to do is scream and cry. He's doing stuff I never got the chance to do and it makes me feel so worthless and all I ever hear is how great it is that he's doing x, y or z and everyone carefully stepping around the issue of me not having done any of them. But they don't know because you haven't let me tell them about how hard I'm trying.

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Sun May 21, 2006 11:41 am

I can't believe you said that.

I can't believe that you said that you don't believe that I love you, that you don't believe that I mean it when I say I love you. After all I've given you, after I've shared so much of my past with you, after I let down my front and opened up to you, after I decided to cling on until the summer because I couldn't bear to leave you without one last chance to see you and tell you how much you mean to me and hold you one last time because deep down I hoped that being with you again would make me want to stay.

I can't believe you threw all that back in my face last night and that you can't even remember it now.

I think this might have been the final straw.

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Sun May 21, 2006 3:41 pm

I love you....

and sorry about the text messages.....I just....I'm just so scared of hurting you because I hurt myself that I thought it would be easier to drive you away so that you'd never have to be hurt by this.

I'm sorry.

Please don't leave me baby.

I still love you.

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Kamikaze
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Post by Kamikaze » Sun May 21, 2006 10:14 pm

Why can't you tell me the truth? What have I ever done to hurt you? Is it too much to ask for you to just do one nice thing for me? Can't you just stop pretending that you care and f*ck off back where you belong if you going to hate me? Please

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Sun May 21, 2006 10:36 pm

I still love you. I don't think I'm capable of stopping loving you.

I'm sorry about your parents. I hope it's better for you than it is for me.

But for all that I love you still, I have a confession to make, a confession I can never make to you IRL.....

This past 2 and a half months of being with you has been hell for me...esp the last 6 weeks. I've been feeling so lost and alone and it seems like you're running away from me, like you're keeping me behind a wall I can't even see. And it's killing me.........I don't know what to do anymore...I've tried being reasonable, I've tried keeping my mouth shut, I've tried shouting.....I'm out of ideas now, I'm not sure how much more of this I can handle before I collapse completely.

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marshmallowfluff
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Post by marshmallowfluff » Mon May 22, 2006 9:54 pm

Mum & dad


You are stressing me out. I have a billion and one exams coming my way and you dont seem to care. You seem to be doing more and more just to make me stressed, then you wonder why i blow my top. You are starting to annoy me. Dad, what was the point in turning my bedroom light off the other night when i was in my room revising. You knew it would wind me up so you did it anyway. Mum, why do you pick arguments with me? Why do you nag me and constantly pick faults with me? Why do you have to be so touchy and so fucking sensitive?

I get so mad. I am under so much pressure to do well, even more so since you said i wont pass. Well i will show you. I will pass. i could pass without doing revision. I have never got lower than a C grade in my life, so i am going to show you that i can pass and i will do well and i will do to college, fit in and get on with my life. You have stopped me numerous times before but you are not going to do it this time, because i wont let you.

Why dont you just leave me alone, just till after my exams are done, then you xcan carry on with what you're doing. just dont do it now, please dont do it now because i can't deal with both of you and my exams.

i have cut every day for the last week. I stopped for 60 days. then started again and have been doing it worse than ever. you wind me up so fucking much i cant stop myself. i need something to take the pressure away because you're not helping me with that.

Please just stop.....
Sarah




:pinkstar:

A: STOP FUCKING WHINING. I CANT BE DOING WITH LISTENING TO YOU WHINING ALL THE TIME. STOP SAYING SORRY, STOP SAYING THANK YOU. I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT. ITS NICE O KNOW IM APPRECIATED BUT IT GETS TOO FUCKING MUCH WHEN YOU SAY IT AT LEAST FIVE TIMES WHEN WE CHAT. JUST GO AWAY!
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"Dance like no one's watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like there's nobody listening.
And live like it's heaven on earth."

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Kamikaze
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Post by Kamikaze » Mon May 22, 2006 10:50 pm

What have I done to deserve this? Why can't you just tell the truth? If you don't f*cking like me then just tell me? Is it so hard to tell the truth?

~starblaze~
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Post by ~starblaze~ » Tue May 23, 2006 7:28 pm

gabby - i dont know why it did, but talking to you for that short time earlier made me feel so small and insignificant and like im below you now. You had no interest in anything i said and i know now you dont want to know me, i wont try again. I guess i needed to try to know for sure.

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pandora
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Post by pandora » Wed May 24, 2006 6:13 am

I miss you.

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whypie
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Post by whypie » Wed May 24, 2006 12:00 pm

I'm sorry that happened and I'm sorry I didn't act on it sooner. I'll make it up to you I promise.
[My Place]



*Hugs are always welcome*

~starblaze~
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Post by ~starblaze~ » Wed May 24, 2006 3:22 pm

i wish you were here. I could repeat it till im blue in the face and lose my voice, but i miss you so much, like no one would believe. I have so much i need to talk to you about now but your not here and wont be till Monday. I need some reassurance about Saturday because at the moment i am nervous about it and have all these doubts in my head, and i need you to calm me down tell me its all going to be okay. I need you.

_____iamacliche

Post by _____iamacliche » Wed May 24, 2006 6:10 pm

i don't know what's going on at the minute. with anything. i don't know what i'm supposed to do to help or anything, you're not giving me any ideas on *how* to help and that's what's killing me right now. it really does hurt. i want to be with you so bad right now, i want to kiss away those tears, fight away your fears but i just can't and it hurts so fucking much, it really does. i love you more than anything in the world, ever. i promise you that. forever.


i wish all this cutting would make everything better, but it won't. i hate myself for doing it. i really do.

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