I am scared (for me and my friend) **SA

[who_am_i_anymore]

My friend has been sexually assulted her grandfather twice now. One time I was there. She protected me and made sure I didn't get hurt. She still has nightmares and fears her grandfather because she knows he can get to her whenever he wants to since her doors don't lock.

The reason I'm scared is because I am going with her to her grandfather's house in the beginning of summer break. Her mom wanted me to go because she has a feeling something is going on with her daughter's grandfather and doesn't want her to go alone. I'm afraid that he is going to hurt her again, or hurt me.

I don't know what to think because I can't tell anyone because my friend would be really mad at me because her grandfather has done so much for her and the rest of her family. I'm kinda torn and scared. I can't even sleep because I am afraid that she is going to get hurt again. She's already been hurt enough.

**I'm sorry this is so long**

[who_am_i_anymore]

Please Anybody???

[Spidey]

i can't tell you what to do, but i wanted to tell you taht i did read.

[who_am_i_anymore]

can't tell you what to do, but i wanted to tell you taht i did read.

Thanks MercySnow

[artichoke]

hi whoamianymore,
if your friend's mother has a hunch that something might be going on, then she is putting both your friend and you in danger, knowingly, which is irresponsible of her.

i know you said you can't tell anyone, but i really think that you should reconsider. the grandfather may have done things for the family, but he has already undone all that goodness by assaulting your friend. this is something that will stay with her for her whole life.

try testing the waters with your friend's mom. ask her questions about the grandfather... why she wants you to go too... see if you can make any headway. if the mom suspects, then you won't be telling her something she doesn't know already.

your friend may be mad at you, but in the long run she will be much better off, and can start getting the help she needs to move on after this situation.

[who_am_i_anymore]

My friend's mom wants me to go because last time my friend went there she wouldn't even talk to her grandfather over the phone for weeks. She doesn't understand really what's going on, but she knows something is wrong. My friend wont talk to her mother because they don't get along very well.

[Poppies]

I would like to give you some points to consider:

1. You don't have to go - you have a choice.
2. Your friend doesn't have to go - she has a choice.
3. If her mother knew what was going on, would she let her daughter go? As much as they don't get on, her mother would (or should) care about what is happening.
4. It could be that the grandfather 'does a lot for the family' as some form of 'emotional blackmail' - and/or as some sort of 'protection' or 'cover' for his activities.... The family owe him nothing! This is your friend's well-being that is at risk!
5. This is your well-being - your safety that is at risk!
6. Again, I will say that you have a choice as to whether you go into this situation.... Your friend has a choice too...
7. You worry that your friend will get hurt... the best way of preventing that is to either persuade her to talk to someone, or to do it yourself.

[innerpain]

I wanted to let you know that I read, I know how hard it would be for you to tell . but he did hurt her and the damage is going to be there, if nothing is done it gets real bad, I was SA at 11 and I did not tell anyone. the pain is always there and to know the person who did it is still out there and can do it to other young boys or girls, it would have been easier for me to tell people when it was happening then now, anyway I know you don't want to tell. don't tell if you think it may lead to SU, but by not telling could lead to SU down the road, but I will tell you this looking back I wish I would have told somebody if I had I might not be where I am now I hope this helped,