tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.
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Reisu
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by Reisu » Tue May 02, 2006 9:10 pm
im pretty sure miss saw what i was drawing. and i know sir saw my scars.
and people say im not an attention whore.
(◡‿◡✿)
"I'M A DISGUSTING WORTHLESS BILGESACK ON THE GARGANTUAN TEAT OF A LABORING, LEPROUS MUSCLEBEAST. MY SELF ESTEEM IS SO SMALL, ITS EXISTENCE IS A MATTER OF CONJECTURE AMONG THEORETICAL PHYSICISTS. THE ODOR MY BODY MAKES HAS MADE POETS CRY. I UNFAIRLY PULVERIZE THE COMPETITION IN ASSHOLE PAGEANTS, AND I HAVE RECEIVED A LIFETIME BAN FROM UGLY CONTESTS BY PRESIDENT SHITFACE HIMSELF. MY BLOOD IS NOT FIT TO FLOW THROUGH A SEWER, AND MY SIGN IS A PICTOGRAPHIC SYMBOL THAT LOOSELY TRANSLATES AS "PLEASE HIKE THESE PANTS UP TO THIS GUY'S ARMPITS, CHAIN HIM TO A FLOGGING JUT, AND MAKE A FUCKING EXAMPLE OUT OF THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT." WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR, MY REFLECTION SLOWLY SHAKES HIS HEAD WHILE I WET MYSELF IN SHAME."
(⊙‿⊙✿)
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nixvision
- unpacking boxes

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by nixvision » Wed May 03, 2006 5:30 am
I cut once for every kiss you gave me

...&& now that asshole is giving me shit because of our relationship.

Will you love me any less if I hurt you anymore?
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Callisto
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by Callisto » Wed May 03, 2006 12:46 pm
I keep trying to do positive self talk...but every time I type something all I think is so what or that's not true.
i don't think i'll ever be able to love myself....i'm not even sure that i want to. the only reason i'm trying to because i'm scared of driving him away.
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Callisto
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by Callisto » Wed May 03, 2006 6:05 pm
i prostitute myself to them on the internet because it's the only way i know to make myself real and feel a sense of self worth and because they mistreat me and use me the way i secretly want to be so i can justify my self hate

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whypie
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by whypie » Wed May 03, 2006 7:26 pm
I don't know what to believe anymore. I really don't. In fact I feel deep down that it is true. I don't know. It hurts too. And I don't know why. Well of course I do but I really don't want this to be true.
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flipflopfetish
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by flipflopfetish » Fri May 05, 2006 6:24 am
i am invisible and i'm afraid i've become an attention-seeking little whore
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Spidey
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by Spidey » Fri May 05, 2006 7:07 am
i am concerned about the direction that this thread is taking.
while i know that we all battle with our secrets and our demons, we all have to face them eventually.
when you post here, why don't you use it as a springboard to work on the secret and issue that you are posting? admitting that something is wrong or that something happened is the first step in unburdening yourself. the unburdening/"cleansing of self" process does not stop when you admit your secret or your demon - it is a process that continues until the day you can finally reconcile with it.
i want to see this thread be the start of the evolution of your own thinking/feeling process in regards to whatever it is that you are posting in this thread. i want it to be a place where work starts on reconciliation of/to yourself.
let this thread be a journey to reconciliation. don't let the unburdening end here. there is still miles to go from this point. work to get there. you can do it.
there is, in the end, the letting go.
-marya hornbacher
spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)
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RabidRabbit
- one of us

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by RabidRabbit » Sat May 06, 2006 12:23 pm
I dread getting involved with a guy in case he turns out like my dad. I'm trying to work on this and understand what makes my dad tick so I don't feel like this is an inevitable outcome. In my head I realise there are good guys out there.
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whypie
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by whypie » Sat May 06, 2006 3:53 pm
She's ruining everything. It's like another obstacle. I wish that I could just erase her from the equation. I can't though.
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Reisu
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by Reisu » Sat May 06, 2006 5:43 pm
i think my pyjamas are beginning to smell, but i cant be bothered to iron some more. o, misery!
(◡‿◡✿)
"I'M A DISGUSTING WORTHLESS BILGESACK ON THE GARGANTUAN TEAT OF A LABORING, LEPROUS MUSCLEBEAST. MY SELF ESTEEM IS SO SMALL, ITS EXISTENCE IS A MATTER OF CONJECTURE AMONG THEORETICAL PHYSICISTS. THE ODOR MY BODY MAKES HAS MADE POETS CRY. I UNFAIRLY PULVERIZE THE COMPETITION IN ASSHOLE PAGEANTS, AND I HAVE RECEIVED A LIFETIME BAN FROM UGLY CONTESTS BY PRESIDENT SHITFACE HIMSELF. MY BLOOD IS NOT FIT TO FLOW THROUGH A SEWER, AND MY SIGN IS A PICTOGRAPHIC SYMBOL THAT LOOSELY TRANSLATES AS "PLEASE HIKE THESE PANTS UP TO THIS GUY'S ARMPITS, CHAIN HIM TO A FLOGGING JUT, AND MAKE A FUCKING EXAMPLE OUT OF THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT." WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR, MY REFLECTION SLOWLY SHAKES HIS HEAD WHILE I WET MYSELF IN SHAME."
(⊙‿⊙✿)
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VowsOfSadness
- sock rocker

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by VowsOfSadness » Sat May 06, 2006 6:21 pm
Hey guys it's me again, way back when I started this thread lol.
I stole the chemisty final
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Yisraela
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by Yisraela » Sun May 07, 2006 4:59 am
I've been down so long, sometimes I wonder if I got better, I'd lose myself.
I think I make myself stay like this, because I'm so afraid of ending up like the people I hate so much.
lead to the river
midsummer, i waved
a 'v' of black swans
on with hope to the grave
all through red september
with skies fire-paved
i begged you appear
like a thorn for the holy ones.
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redheadgirl1219
- settling in

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by redheadgirl1219 » Sun May 07, 2006 6:41 am
*Triggs*
-I didnt just cut that once during our relationship, it was the whole time.
-You were the reason why I'm like this now. Your mental problems caused me too much pain. The more I tried to help the more you pushed me away. And I blame everything you went through on myself.
-I get into relationships because I dont know how to love myself.
-I have never been happy my entire life. I've just put on the face so everyone would not ask questions.
-I have wished for death for the past 5 years but I never had the guts to go through with it.
-I dont want to stop cutting because its the only relief I know.

PM's Okay
-Lizzie
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Callisto
- postmaster

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by Callisto » Sun May 07, 2006 12:46 pm

PMs ok
Quote from the postsecret site:
I want to leave him....but I'm too in love with the fucker
Got me thinking did this....
Part of me wants to leave D because this relationship is killing me inside...I don't know how to do this....but I love him too much to leave him.
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black_23
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by black_23 » Sun May 07, 2006 11:15 pm
OK with Mercy Snow's post in mind I'll try

Don't know if this is right....
I think Im falling...this job situation isnt helping and having you know i cut scares me - But im trying, im trying to be proactive and work while im positive and get there. But im scared i'm gona fail
I know you worry and i hate the way you get nervous when i watch soemthing triggery even though its doing just what you think - so i'll reassure you when i can and try and put into word what;s in my mind, to stop you worrying if i can rather than close up, but im dreaming of si it scares me.
sorry prob naff attempt but i tried......
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badgirl22
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by badgirl22 » Mon May 08, 2006 8:02 am
I think my secret is that I feel it is my fault that my mother died when she did. I think I hindered her recovery by not playing my violin when she asked, and not helping her because I was afraid of needles. I wasn't there for her like she wanted me to be, and all I was was ashamed of her. I was ashamed of her because she told me she didn't like herself. She told me she was ugly and that I shouldn't be like her. She wanted me to be better then she was. She wanted me to well..I don't know what she wanted me to be. I never asked her. I never asked her what she saw me doing in the future, I never asked her any questions that would make her sad. I never asked her for things I needed because I felt that I was selfish for thinking of me when she was the one that was sick. So I took care of my sister and cleaned the house, and that was all I could do. SO I feel it was my fault that she couldn't get better and live. IT was my fault.
-Badgirl22
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balletomane
- one of us

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by balletomane » Mon May 08, 2006 2:42 pm
I only just realized that my art teacher in elementary school (she was my teacher for four years) HAD to have known my name.
(I forget sometimes that other people know my name, esp. if I don't remember introducing myself to them)
I have no idea what that's all about, but is is quite amusing to me.

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mephistopheles
- cow control

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by mephistopheles » Tue May 09, 2006 3:41 pm
comments ok.
I think I'm an alcoholic.
I got fired for being drunk and stoned.
I'm too afraid to see you because I know I saw you but I dont remember it. I hope I didnt hurt you.
I hate it when you say you hate yourself. Because I dont know what to do about it. And because I dont know what to say, I say it to myself all the time but I can't deal with people saying it out loud.
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”
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Whispers
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by Whispers » Wed May 10, 2006 7:37 pm
~The only reason i haven't ended it yet is because I keep thinking i'll find someone who'll make me feel safe some day. That day hasn't come yet.
~I try to convince myself that everyone's mother is crazy like mine, so it would be my fault for getting upset. But i know i'm the only one whose is like this.
~Everytime i'm on a plane, i wish it crashes.
~I hope i'll find the strength to tell my mother how much I hate her and what she's done to me one day.
~I have trouble making eye contact with people because I imagine them thinking how ugly I am
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