Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

flipflopfetish · Post by **flipflopfetish** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:41 am

the things she says and the things she doesn't say make me want to kill myself.

i am so lonely

not your star · Post by **not your star** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 8:11 am

PMs okay

I worry that since I was 'over him' so quickly, Ive convinced myself Im over him, but Im really not. Im scared that if I ever saw him it would all come back. He was my entire life, and Im scared Ive just blocked it and I dont know how to get it back to deal with it.

I think maybe for this reason, I deserved what happened with the next one.

kittyinthemiddle · Post by **kittyinthemiddle** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:11 pm

when i say i love you what i really mean is i'm in love with you.....
i'm scared i'll never know if you ever felt the same way about me. i'm even more scared that you do

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 7:37 pm

If you get any closer then I'm going to have to pull away. I don't know what else to do. I wish you'd just stop there. But everyone wants to get closer.

I need to revise. My exams are in 28 days. But if I failed...

marshmallowfluff · Post by **marshmallowfluff** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 7:59 pm

i hate you for the things you do and say to me

~bluehaze~ · Post by **~bluehaze~** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 8:11 pm

You make me want to kill myself.

amyfairy · Post by **amyfairy** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 10:05 pm

you make me feel left out on purpose

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:30 am

His phone calls make me feel uncomfortable and threatened. Him trying to get closer and closer to me makes me feel uncomfortable and threatened. Sometimes I wish he'd just hurry up and dump me before I'm forced to push him away because of how stilted and unnatural and uncomfortable this kind of closeness feels to me.

I don't like how he seems to have more control than me. I don't like how he can say things or do things that make me feel things. I don't like how his actions/words affect or manipulate my emotions. I don't like how I can't lie to him very often. I don't like how I can't manipulate him the way I do with everyone else.

I don't like how he makes me start to like myself.

I just want him to stop.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 6:16 pm

he's not the one who makes me happy when i'm down anymore. he's not the one that can pull me out of my downs. N & M are the ones that can do that now. i wonder if this means i've fallen out of love with him...and if i ever really was in love with him....or if im just wishing that i wasn't.

shadowavenger · Post by **shadowavenger** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 11:54 pm

I've stopped cutting. I've started burning. I'm thinking of taking up smoking just so I will have an excuse to carry a lighter.

I really, really wish I had locked the door. I wanted to do it so badly, I don't have the courage. I wish with all my heart that I did. I'm tired and I want to go now, I will eventually let go so it might as well be now before I have anything more to lose.

Help_Me9219 · Post by **Help_Me9219** » Sat Apr 29, 2006 1:51 am

-i wish i new who i was

-i want to get better but at the same time i dont...

-when i cut i dont want my parents or church friends to see but i (kind of) show my scars/cuts off at school

-i still miss him soooo bad even though you moved to germany!

-i dont want to get better...i like the pain sometimes so someone will hug me and tell me everything will be okay...

*SI and SU trigg*

-i told my friend to bring a razor to school and she did but she lost it...i almost cried...i want, no, NEED for my angwish and pain to get out....

-i wrote a suicide note in my journal.....i draw guns in there too...i wish i had one so i could get the fuck out of the hell they call life!
<3
alicia
comments-pm accepted

flipflopfetish · Post by **flipflopfetish** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 7:10 pm

PMs OK

one by one i drive everyone away

*.*Black_Star*.* · Post by ***.*Black_Star*.*** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 7:36 pm

i cant trust him now that i am 16, i know what he is after, iv known it all alone but refused to accept it. i wont be used by him so he can joke to his friends at college about me, i wont let him take advantage of me, i wont put myself in that position where something that im not comfortable with might happen. though i care about him and want to trust him so badly, i cant make these horrible thought go away.

and im going to have to lie to get out of this camping trip with him that i agreed to go on with him and some of his college mates. being surrounded by a load of older, drunken guys in the middle of the field where no-one knows where i am isnt a position i want to put myself in..... but hes gonna hate me for it....maybe i shud just go. i dont know, i guess my secret here is i am confused.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 9:02 pm

I think I love you. But I don't even know you. And I don't know what love is. Bear with me. Please.

Hisforever · Post by **Hisforever** » Mon May 01, 2006 3:28 am

PMs okay and actually much appreciated

- I always say I hate my father but yet I want nothing more than to be accepted and loved by him
- I wish someone would notice my scars and care
- I wish I could be honest with people who do ask questions and not get so defensive
- I don't know who I am
- I am not okay
- I don't think I ever will be okay, nor do I really want to be
- I am terrified
- I am SO sorry, I am sorry that I screwed up so badly and that I can never be the daughter my parents wanted
- I wish I were a better Christian and had stronger faith... though sometimes I pretend like my relationship is strong

edited to add: I really wish I had never got in the car that night

Hisforever ><>

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Mon May 01, 2006 3:34 am

I now know what it must be like for you when I say I hate myself sometimes...I'm sorry I never knew that it made you feel like this. I love you for being here for me.

Yisraela · Post by **Yisraela** » Mon May 01, 2006 7:46 am

SU, and self hatrid
*
*
*
*
G-d, I'm sorry. But I don't know if I believe it anymore. I need something from you, I don't know what I need. I know when I do things, that are against what you want, I spit in your face. I'm sorry. I can't control myself anymore. I'm really afraid, that maybe deep down, I can control myself, but I don't care enough to anymore.

I never asked to be born. YOU put me on this earth, and won't give me the chance to leave. How can I be free now, without hurting you more mom? How can I do anything without failing you dad? How can I live how you want me to G-d. I can't do it. I just can't do it.

Only my vow to you, G-d keeps me here. No one will ever know how guilty I am for this. I don't even begin to know how to fix anything anymore.

flipflopfetish · Post by **flipflopfetish** » Tue May 02, 2006 5:43 am

Sometimes when I am on BUS, I feel like I am in junior high and can feel everyone whispering about me and how to torture me next. But the worst part is I know I brought it on myself.

PMs OK

whypie · Post by **whypie** » Tue May 02, 2006 11:00 am

I have a huge jealous streak, I can get jealous about anything. I hate it.

Post by **Spidey** » Tue May 02, 2006 7:24 pm

i si'ed last night. i feel no regret.
[if you're up to pm well it's alright]

bus

Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

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