how do u view yourself and why?

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Unleash the Bats
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Post by Unleash the Bats » Wed Mar 29, 2006 8:05 pm

glitterflower wrote:
Unleash the Bats wrote:
glitterflower wrote:I was just about to post about how negative all this was....and then saw that plantt had beaten me to it :wink:

i think the way that unleash expressed it was good: on a good day I feel this. On a bad day, I feel something else. But if I know the reality of a good day, I can challenge those beliefs.
thanks. i didnt mean it to come out as a bad message or what ever, but thats just the way i persieve myself. the way i am trying to overcome those bad days by trying to distract myself, to paint my nails, to wash my hair, make a sandwich, make a cup of tea, do things that make me feel nice.

sorry to bring the tone of the thread down
No, what I meant was that you didn't at all :) You were realistic about things - your recognised that, ok, if i'm having a bad day my perceptions of myself will change, but on a good day you *can* still think nice things about yourself.
so not a criticism at all!

and it's good to see you've got some coping mechanisms lined up to make you feel better about yourself on a bad day :star:
that wasnt a sarcastic thanks btw! that was a nice thanks, i liked the approval!
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Post by narcoleptic » Fri Mar 31, 2006 9:41 pm

People tell me that I'm crazy. (sometimes I dress up in a suit and I'ma girl). Sometimes people like paintings or drawings I do in art class and I never know how to respond since I only started about a year ago. Someone told me that I'm talented and it made me feel really fuzzy. and I guess I'm smart. Sometimes people think I'm pretty,but whenever I look in the mirror all I see is that my eyebrows are icky, i have zits, my skin isn't smooth, random freckles, etc.

Re-reading this I'm starting to wonder if I really am too hard on myself.
I think I'm shy even online.

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Post by Callisto » Sun Apr 16, 2006 5:42 pm

I see myself as fat and ugly even though people say that I am not because I cannot bear to look at myself in the mirror.

I see myself as stupid even though people say I'm not because I've never been the smartest in my year.

I see myself as a failure because I've never gotten 100% perfect grades and because I have flaws.

I see myself as selfish because everyday I think about myself and what I want to do/see etc instead of only thinking of others.

I see myself as broken because I don't have perfect mental health.

I see myself as worthless because I am not the perfect person that I desire to be.

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Post by black_23 » Thu Apr 20, 2006 8:26 pm

I saw myself through somebodies elses eyes today. We used to go out and I was calm, querky, and everyone would desrcribe me as smiley or sweet.

Now I see them wince inside, when they notice the scars and not understand...I see myself as a failure in their eyes someone they no longer understand and are running out of patience to understand.
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Post by Jaded_Modulations » Sat Apr 22, 2006 12:45 pm

I usually use a mirror or any other kind of reflective surface. When I'm feeling unsafe, it helps me to know that I still exist.
I JUST FEEL SO INVISIBLE!
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Post by plantt » Sat Apr 22, 2006 2:34 pm

I usually use a mirror or any other kind of reflective surface. When I'm feeling unsafe, it helps me to know that I still exist.
--glad you've found something that helps =) it's really hard to deal with feeling invisible.

secret_smile & black_23... i'm wondering what sorts of things you're doing to change those thoughts...

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Post by Neviah » Sat Apr 22, 2006 6:16 pm

I see myself as worthless, pathetic, stupid, ugly, fat, dirty... not much different to how other people see me..

When they see my scars I look into their eyes and realise I'm a total failure

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Post by plantt » Sat Apr 22, 2006 10:07 pm

Neviah, what's one thing about yourself that you like or do well?

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Post by black_23 » Sun Apr 23, 2006 1:14 am

I see myself as begin taken for a fool sometimes...too innocent and trusting for my own good. Im quiet and stupid or why wouldnt i get somewhere after all this trying to get through interviews....
In answer to your question Plantt - I would change those views if i thought i could..im trying to store up postives...bought myself a book to write the little good things i do down in it to keep me safe today...but at the same time every effort i make is usally destroyed by something i do even if months down the line. I just become a burden on them...
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Post by Neviah » Sun Apr 23, 2006 1:31 am

plantt wrote:Neviah, what's one thing about yourself that you like or do well?
I can't acctually think of one..

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Post by plantt » Sun Apr 23, 2006 1:42 am

...but at the same time every effort i make is usally destroyed by something i do even if months down the line
--how so?

well then think some more, Neviah =)

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Post by black_23 » Sun Apr 23, 2006 3:04 pm

...but at the same time every effort i make is usally destroyed by something i do even if months down the line

--how so?
Well i used to be proud of all the smaller things, making it through 1 wk then 2....but when I mess up properly as far as the people who care about me feel that that wipes out all the effort previously...and small acheivments then become worthless. Just makes it very hard to to keep fighting against the urges if they're not gona add up to anything...
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Post by plantt » Sun Apr 23, 2006 6:29 pm

that wipes out all the effort previously...and small acheivments then become worthless.
--does it? does it really erase how much effort you had put it & what you had accomplished?

if they're not gona add up to anything...
--maybe sometimes things don't need to add up. maybe sometimes things can be accomplishments in & of themselves.
that's not to say that we'd be satisfied simply leaving it at that... but sometimes it takes putting in effort & accomplishing small things & recognizing that accomplishment... while still working towards bigger things.

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Post by *.*Black_Star*.* » Sun Apr 23, 2006 6:57 pm

I view myself as fat and ugly, though i guess i could be fatter, and i sometimes think im prettyish and people say im not ugly.
I see myself as a fialure because i have such high expectations of myself, but although im doing badly in my eyes, im still doing a lot better than most people
I see myself as lonely and isolated, though im surrounded by people who are trying their best to help me and understand.
I see myself as dirty, as used goods and undeserving of a good mans love because of that happened to me, though thats a stupid way to look and any man who realli is a good man would try to understand it.
I see myself negatively, though i guess im not all that bad. im a pessimist when i look at myself and my life, though an optimist when i look at other peoples lives.

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Post by whypie » Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:08 am

I have developed a taste for analysing people and situations. I give good advice to other people but not myself. I sometimes think I'm pretty but then why have I never been in a proper relationship? I don't mind being so short but I hate the way by body is out of proportion. I don't like how I've changed. I'm selfish. I'm arrogant. I'm sometimes all about me me me me me me meeee
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Post by PurplePixie » Tue May 16, 2006 9:36 am

I'm struggling with how i see myself, i am working on it with my psychologist but it is quite difficult.

apparently I have low self esteem, i dont see my good qualities and just tend to focus on the negatives.

Somedays i am happy with how i look, i feel pretty and think i look nice other days i feel fat and ugly.

I know i am clever because i am at university and doing relatively well, but agian i cant see the good side of this i just see my flaws and failures
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Post by pandora » Tue May 16, 2006 10:30 am

Pretty, stupid, smart, hard, sexy, loving, honest, mean, unworthy, slutty, wholesome, caring, unloveable, loveable, dichtomy, beautiful, strong, disgusting, thoughful, selfish, cold, glowing, naiive.

Undecided.



"shall we keep her, or return her ?"

I have not decided, yet, if I should be returned to the factory for being broken... or for being what I am.

I wonder if God know's what he's doing sometimes... sometimes I feel like a "second" and wonder if I should be thrown away for being liike this- for being "me", but ocassionally I feel this spark inside, this light and ability give.

:-?

Yep, still undecided... wonder how many steps I'll take down this road.

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Post by barnabygirl » Tue May 16, 2006 12:23 pm

I see my self as am splitted into two ppl,, i never feel like one whole person,,,, either i am

smart, sucsessfull, helping, harmonic and nice

or i am

small, vounerable, sick, sceared, depressed, a failure and never good enough,,

i wonder how id be like if i could just be one whole person!!! :lol:
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Post by balletomane » Wed May 17, 2006 9:53 am

I know intellectually that I am intelligent and capable, but I often feel stupid. I think this is a result of having very high standards for myself. I know this is not inherently a harmful thing, but I have not paired high standards with self acceptance. I have kept a mental log of all of the times I have not done well, while allowing all of the times I met and exceeded various standards to vanish from the forefront of my memory. My view of myself is distorted in much the same way that the evening news offers a distorted picture of the world--no one ever makes the news for having a pretty good day at work and eating dinner with their family. It's only the bad, and the extremely (almost mythically) good, that gets reported in the news. I tend not to note and celebrate the times when everything does go according to the plan, when I work hard and succeed at something. Instead I dwell on what I didn't do, what I didn't achieve.

I think a large part of why I do this stemmed from not wanting to appear arrogant. I was always taught to not toot my own horn or think I was better than anyone else. I think I translated that into not thinking that I am at all good. I also internalized the words of the few vocal teachers who told me that I would never understand, instead of the words of the (quieter) supportive teachers. But humility and self deprecation are not the same thing. And no one knows what I am capable of learning and doing given enough hard work and the right support and resources.

I am not stupid. I am intelligent. I just need to celebrate my successes (even the very small ones) and I need to just let myself enjoy the things I do.

(and yes, I think this whole post sounds very arrogant)

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