Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

steady hands · Post by **steady hands** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 5:47 am

-comments, pms, whatever are all okay.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow. cause I know that i'll have to look at you again. and it makes me sick, knowing that you tried it.

and i'm sorry I can't help you. and i'm sorry I lied to you. but I just don't know what to do anymore..

whypie · Post by **whypie** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 5:31 pm

- I don't think I look nice at all.

- I really hate my legs

- I get paranoid about what people think about me. I think they hate me, they think I'm pathetic, stupid and babyish.

- I feel like no-one truly truly knows me anymore.

- I hate being so short. I hate it when people mention it. It makes me want to cry.

- My dad's side of the family are fucked up. I hate the majority of them. I know some of the secrets. I know there are more and that scares me. A lot.

- I know that one day I will have to tell the secret to my cousin. It involves her. I'm scared about that.

- I'm scared I'm going to lose people who I am friends with at the moment. I feel disconnected.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:45 pm

I run away everytime anyone gets close to saying anything that makes an impact on me out of fear that they will discover who i really am.

beautiful_facade · Post by **beautiful_facade** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:24 pm

i'm so scared. i pretend to people that i can deal with harsh comments and that they don't bother me. But i'm so scared of them really that i'm risking my health in order to avoid them.

plantt · Post by **plantt** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:37 pm

have you tried starting a thread on coping & ask for suggestions on how to deal with harsh comments? you're definitely not the only one that ever has trouble dealing with those... & really that's what the coping forum is here for

wish · Post by **wish** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 8:03 pm

i pretend im so layed back and easy going like nothing bothers me-yet inside im fighting to stay normal long enough for people to like me.if they see the real me too soon,or at all,they'll run a mile.and that in its self makes me a freak

beautiful_facade · Post by **beautiful_facade** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 10:35 pm

Thanks Plantt i might just do that.

candiperfumegirl · Post by **candiperfumegirl** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 12:06 am

PMs okay
In less than four months i'm getting married. I'm not sure if i want to anymore

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 11:12 am

PM's ok...

I'm terrified of ever getting pregnant because getting pregnant means getting fat and that is not acceptable.

*.*Black_Star*.* · Post by ***.*Black_Star*.*** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 1:11 pm

I havent eaten in a few days, and im starting to feel hungry and i like it...

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 3:37 pm

I care so much about my weight and what other people think of me because of it that I lie on forms from the doctors that require you put down your weight.

kcat · Post by **kcat** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 4:58 pm

SA

when i was getting sa as a child, and my cousin w was also being sa by the same person, i used to try and manipulate situations and set her up so that it would be her instead of me...and it made me feel good inside to know it was her being hurt instead of me

Scatterbrain · Post by **Scatterbrain** » Sat Apr 15, 2006 9:49 pm

I think God is calling me to work with teens either in a SI setting or just at church, but I am too scared to admit it even to my church friends.
I want to be able to cry in front of everyone but I cant bring myself to show that "weakness"
R- I really like you, but I dunno how close I can get to you. I really like your family and it makes me hate my own...

comments welcome

~Megan

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Sat Apr 15, 2006 10:07 pm

I wish I could find someway to make myself a better person

xanemicroyaltyx · Post by **xanemicroyaltyx** » Sat Apr 15, 2006 10:58 pm

i get butterflies when i hold your hand. every time.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:35 am

I want him to hate me for it...I want him to get mad at me and scream and shout and rough me up a little...I want him to break up with me for it because I can't handle him being supportive...it just makes me mad at him and hate myself all the more....

waxbutterfly · Post by **waxbutterfly** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:49 pm

comments ok, pm

* i am lying to my fiance about si'ing. i told him that i had a slip rather than telling him i'm back to it all the way. now he thinks i'm being really honest with him so he doesn't ask because he think's i'll tell him if i "slip" again. i feel like shit about it. i feel more decietful than if i hadn't said anything at all.

* worse than that, i gave him my tools...so to prevent myself from feeling guilty i just switched to a new type of tool so i technically haven't si'd the same as what i told him i wouldn't do anymore.

* i haven't taken my meds in three weeks. not even vitamins. because i want to be sick and sad and needy. because it's easier thand being responsible and well adjusted. i am forcing myself back into depression because i'm lazy.

* i am planning on becoming a fulltime missionary in the fall...but i haven't talked to God in weeks. i believe in God with my whole heart...i just can't accept that he believes in me.

* sometimes i use honesty as a way of keeping people out. i shock them into never asking again. i pride myself on being more than they can handle. except when i'm lying to keep them out. but i'm always keeping them out one way or another.

* i feel fat, and i feel guilty every time i eat, but the guilt just makes me eat more to comfort myself. i am going to start restricting again.

* i'm afraid that i'll never be able to have children, and that that makes me not a real woman.

* i'm afraid my fiance will leave me if he finds out that he can't save me. i know that won't happen, and that the fear is completely irrational, but it controls a lot of how i relate to him and that makes me really sad.

* i want to start therapy again, i need to, but i won't because i'm too ashamed to tell anyone that i've lost all the progress i made.

comments ok, pm

wow, it feels really good to actually say all of that. it's been festering inside me for too long.

betsy

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 8:11 pm

comments ok

I took all the stones off his grave today.

I'm dying. actually physically dying. and still i carry on.

and on the inside i'm sobbing. but never on the outside. he might see me.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 12:27 am

--I'm so ashamed to be myself that I lie to everyone so that I fit into their expectations and their ideals.

--I call myself a whore because a whore is worth more to every man she sleeps with than I am to myself.

--I'm not sure if I can ever be in a relationship and be happy, and that scares me because I love him so much. But I don't want to give up trying out of fear, even though I know that I probably will.

--Right now I want to be alone and friendless more than anything so that I could SU without hurting anyone.

--People caring about me and supporting me hurts me more than anything I've ever done to myself and this is the one pain that I'm not sure I can bear.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 6:15 pm

comments ok

she rang me and ranted for half an hour about how someone desecrated his grave. and it was me. I did it. I can't tell her. It'll kill her.

I wish I could go back and put them back.

bus

Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

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