Things Left Unsaid *LA*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Forget Me
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Post by Forget Me » Tue Mar 21, 2006 7:53 am

i dont think you really want me like that. ok. thats fine. but can you stop acting like you do? i honestly can't fucking resist rising to any vague suggestion of you wanting me and it confuses the fuck out of me. i feel guilty cos i know you and her love each other and it confuses me cos sometimes i feel like i want you and sometimes i know i just want to be your friend. if you stopped teasing i know id stop being confused and accept you as just a friend. which i would love. grrrrr. because right now i feel like i am just sorta waiting for you and her to break up so you can call me up to be your fallback girl, and, fuckit, i dont want to be that.
the other thing that really pisses me off is that you know L as well so i cant talk to her about it. i dont really know if i would anyway. its embarrassing.

LATER: lol, and please stop using those FUCKING WINKY FACES!!!! lol.
<center>
<b>FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?!</b>
~"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."~
:o :o :o
Another Lonely Day
~~Laura~~
</center>

~bluehaze~
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Post by ~bluehaze~ » Tue Mar 21, 2006 11:33 am

i'm sorry for how much I spent. I promise i'll pay you back. Don't be angry with me please.

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Post by slinky » Thu Mar 23, 2006 4:04 pm

I want to hurt myself.
Pray now baby. Pray your life was just a dream... just a dream.

~X~

In my nothing, you meant everything, everything to me.

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Post by piglet » Thu Mar 23, 2006 10:53 pm

V - You are a narrow minded, judgemental hypocrite.
I hate how you leave me feeling, and wish you were not in my group.
"It is joy to be hidden, but disaster not to be found" (Winnicott)

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bexy
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Post by bexy » Fri Mar 24, 2006 12:02 am

i dont know what to do or say anymore

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ioa
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Post by ioa » Fri Mar 24, 2006 3:24 am

Sarah - our friendship is pretty much dead. I know you keep trying to revive it, but it's just too little too late. It pains me to say it - but I don't think things will ever go back to the way they were - and it's your fault.

Mom - stop relying on me so much. I can't stand you talking to me about Dad anymore - I don't want to hear about all the affairs and the shit that has been building up in your bitter mind for years. I know you're bitter about Dad and will probably never recover - but it's not too late for me.

Erin - QUIT TRYING TO FIND A FATHER FIGURE IN THE BOYS YOU DATE.

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ioa
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Post by ioa » Fri Mar 24, 2006 3:28 am

Lauren - I know I'm an asshole to you, and I'm sorry. I can't help myself. It's a self-preservation thing. You were my first love, and I can't seem to get over that. That's my problem, I know. Just try to deal with me. I wish I could change it all but I can't. I can't turn back time and make things better. I fucked up. I'm sorry. God I'm so sorry. I fucked up your whole life for all I know, and I blame myself for that everyday. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you - the way you were.

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pandora
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Post by pandora » Fri Mar 24, 2006 3:36 am

Good thing I don't have longer fingers.

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Post by pandora » Fri Mar 24, 2006 10:29 am

In some ways I want to die
and in some ways... I don't.

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ioa
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Post by ioa » Mon Mar 27, 2006 3:04 am

dad,
there's nothing left of me to give. fuck off.

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Post by ~bluehaze~ » Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:52 pm

Your so rude to me at times, it's got worse recently. I'm sorry for caring as much as I do. Sometimes I wonder if we should even be still together.

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Post by ~bluehaze~ » Tue Mar 28, 2006 4:29 pm

I don't want your excuses. Leave me alone.

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Post by slinky » Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:59 am

I'm shy. I'm scared you won't like me.
Pray now baby. Pray your life was just a dream... just a dream.

~X~

In my nothing, you meant everything, everything to me.

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Post by swanfaerie » Thu Mar 30, 2006 5:37 am

i wish you'd get help. you know you need to. i wish you could quit making excuses and just do what needs to be done.
Don't do anything stupid.
It's hard to ignore a naked person.
You're a good boy too, Mommy


make your own snowflake!


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?
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Post by ? » Thu Mar 30, 2006 10:39 am

i often feel sorry for you, y'know...there you are...prancing around pretending that you're from sex and the city, bitching about friends whos only crime is wanting to live THEIR lives and not yours, dreaming of a life that's 10 times more beautiful than the cess pit of vemon you're currently drowning in.
to think i ever wasted a drop of energy on your being, to think i ever wasted a penny of my money on your obsessions, to think i even wanted to breath the same air as you...to contaminate myself in the droplets of self glorification and sluttiness that you'd expel...to even think of spending the rest of my life as a slave to your wage.
to even think you could get away with saying it was all my fault, that i was destroying your life...is just proof of what a self obsessed waster you really are...you're a sad, pitiful lunatic.
you'd spend days, nights...trying to break me. reducing me to tears just because you couldnt resist flirting with the whole world, or because you were upset because mummy didnt put enough sugars in your tea...
you are truly pathetic. you'd go from one extreme to another...one minute saying you'd poisen someone's baby because you'd lost yours, the next you were crying because your mum didnt cut your dinner the right way. oh boo hoo hoo. so what your food wasnt cut in shapes...at least your mum MADE you your dinner. some poor kids don't even HAVE a mother!

i never cheated on you, did you wrong, did ANYTHING. sure, i may have been a bit paraniod, maybe even a bit possesive...but what do you expect after all the things you did?
and i was right, though, wasnt i?...i was right to suspect. because recently, without you knowing it, you confessed not only did you want someone else the whole time we were together (your best kept secret, huh?) but the person you kept telling me i was wrong to be jealous with...you actually SLEPT with again after we broke up.

and it didnt hurt. nope. i loved it. my god, did i love it. because i could gloat that i was right about you all along, and the only real problem in our so called relationship...was you.

you broke up with me because you hated me? and so does everyone else? look around, sweetie, who actually LIKES you? you had to avoid the internet for so long because you were so universally despised. the only people that like you are your pathetic little friends in bradford, that pathetic little man by the name of A who is so unstable he makes a rusted swing look safe, oh...and those silly little school friends you bitch about that sleep together behind your back (i revel in the fact i probably know more about it than you do...and you havent had a clue all this time)...and me? i have a beautiful girlfriend (who, by the way, i will have been with for nine months next week...and i truly cannot wait to have her as my longest relationship in a months time and not a shagged out old slag like you...) i have a stable network of new friends from my new job...(another step away from the memory of you was leaving that hellhole old job of mine...) so, to be perfectly blunt...you are truly kidding yourself if you believe that I'M the insignificant one.

you hide behind your insecurities with your evil little attitude. talking down to people may make you FEEL high...but you're really still down below with the rest of the trash.

in short, you're nothing but a stuck up little inbred who dreams of being upper class, and spending your whole life reading shakespear and drinking cocktails makes you feel one step closer to that.

ugh. tsk. tsk. tsk.

you live in a tiny little world, and you're a tiny little person.

i find it so hard to believe that after years of being "depressed" you'd suddenly be cured, that being "raped" doesnt matter anymore...that losing grace doesn't bother you.
i refuse to believe any of that tosh anymore. i now see that you had three imaginary friends. matt, darren, and grace. say hi to them for me?

your hate for me is unjustified, and your petty insults just plain desperate.
and i'm so pleased that i wound you up recently...you could say the score is 1-1...you hurt me back in june 2004...so i hurt your in january 2006. fair cop?
not to you...because STILL you had to play lucy the victim...coming on here...spewing your poisen...acting like *i* was in the wrong.
no, lucy, you were in the wrong. i just claimed back what was rightfully mine...my pride.

to think i'm still in love with you is wishful thinking on your part. surely not even YOUR ego is that big?
no, lucy, i don't still love you. i'm in love with my fiance. all i am with you is bitter...and thats why i got you back. that's why i had to seek you out one last time just to put right what you made wrong.
you may hate me. good. you may not have any good memories of me anymore. good. you may wish never to see me again. good....because all you are to me now is my worst enemey. no, you're not even that...you're too insignificant to me to be that. in truth, all you are to me is someone who nearly ruined my life...and someone i wish i could just banish from my memory...
oh, and for the record, the reason i was so bad sexually with you is because i didn't really find you all that attractive at all. you have bug eyes, no breasts, your ribs are more visable than your SKIN, and to be honest...you have to be the ugliest person i've been with. i never even once got HARD over you. you were too busy turning me off by cowering in your bed over a sexual attack that didn't even take place.
"don't touch my neck!" why would i want to? you skin is attrocious.

the day you left me was the best day of my life, june 16th is now a national holiday in my eyes...
and i'm so glad i'm not the one wiping your fake tears, and your boney arse anymore...

lucy, you're a joke. and the quicker you realise that the better. the quicker you realise that no-one cares anymore about you, or your stupid little life, the quicker you may be in making the changes to your life to prevent you becoming nothing more than a tiny little pinprick in the big wide world.

i am better than you. i am more beauitful than you are. and that's always been the case. it just took me a while to realise that....when i became just plain lee, and broke free from "luceandlee"...i realised that to step out of your shadow meant stepping into the sun again...

...and that's where i'll remain.

i'm only sorry i wasted myself on you...but now the only one who's wasting time on you...is yourself.

cheerio.
Last edited by ? on Sat Apr 08, 2006 12:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

~bluehaze~
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Post by ~bluehaze~ » Thu Mar 30, 2006 11:27 am

LA

So now it's a fault that I fucking work? How the hell do you expect us to move in the summer with no money? You sit at home all day while I go to work and earn money for us. You aren't contributing to that. You seem to have even stopped looking for a job. Your determination has gone. Don't start accusing me of leaving you everyday, I have too for fuck sake. What do you expect us to live off, air? Do not get at me this morning, all I asked for was a day to talk to you. And you've ruined that. Thanks.

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t_k
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Post by t_k » Thu Mar 30, 2006 12:04 pm

Jeffy: It's fucking patchetic, you know that? Not letting you dump her and then finally dumping her then begging to have her back... It's sad. You're so fucking weak when it comes to chicks, you know that? You're whipped from all angles, everyone thinks it's said. Even people who barely/ don't know you. And especially people who DO know you. She's not good enough for you but then again, maybe you're not good enough for us to care. Just fucking pathetic, boy!

James: No, seriously, I want you.
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~bluehaze~
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Post by ~bluehaze~ » Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:59 pm

L - I don't understand why you're doing this to me. Why you insist on hurting me like this. Why can't you see? :cry:

slinky
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Post by slinky » Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:37 pm

Please stop hurting her.
Pray now baby. Pray your life was just a dream... just a dream.

~X~

In my nothing, you meant everything, everything to me.

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Post by ~starblaze~ » Thu Mar 30, 2006 10:25 pm

thank you, just thank you for everything. You're amazing.

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