Body Love

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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RawBeing
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Body Love

Post by RawBeing » Sun Mar 05, 2006 8:16 am

Hello Folks,
I’ve been giving a lot of thought to how socialization affects women. I’ll try not to turn this post into a feminist dissertation, but I really think it’s a good way to approach SI and other things. Women have been taught throughout much of western history to at the least to ignore there bodies and, more often than not, to despise there bodies. I know have been repulsed by my body on a number of occasions. Women are taught to try to hide there bodies and parts that other people find unpleasing (scars are a good example of this) but breasts, vaginas, blemishes, curves, faces, and feet are just a few more. Every once and a while are bodies get so desperate for attention that they start to ache, cramp, itch, burn. These are the times I have my most obsessive SI thoughts. I suspect this is because we haven’t been taught that our bodies deserve love. It’s important to love ourselves and to be aware that we are our bodies, so to love ourselves is to love our bodies. This week I went to my counselor at the end of my rope. I kept having the “itch” feeling I get when I want to SI. See told me to do something good for my body. I imagine that learning to love my body will be a process. Our bodies are beautiful.

What do you do to love you body?

Peace,
Summer

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Post by shadow of a smile » Mon Mar 06, 2006 12:23 am

hmmmm...been having body image problems lately so this is tough for me, i'll start out small....

i like my feet. i think my toes are very pretty, and i like it that i always have them painted. and my feet have nice arches. 8)

that's as far as i can go right now. good post tho! maybe i can come back another time and add on again.
i accept hugs!!!

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Post by balletomane » Mon Mar 06, 2006 2:39 am

that's very 'our bodies, ourselves'-y. i like this post. I've been having body image issues lately.

one thing i do to love myt body is stretch. it reminds me that my body is capable and beautiful in its flexibility.


sorry that's so scattered of me, i'm not doing so well atm.

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Post by daria » Mon Mar 06, 2006 6:02 am

I don't compare myself to others.

...okay, sometimes I do. But anytime I catch myself wishing I could have her legs, or her breasts, or her whatever, I tell myself that I don't see myself clearly. I don't think anyone really does... we don't possess the ability to step outside ourselves and see us the way everyone else does. And I realize that I'm too hard on myself, and that I'm falling for society's impossible standard of beauty.

Good post, Summer.
You'll find a place where you're beholden to no one
except yourself,
so let them come and see you standing naked
Full of passion, flowing inside out
into creation, becoming one with the present
So go get connected
unshackled essence
Let's f*ck away mortality, you might be independent
I want to get connected
so we can get electric
Then we'll set our souls free dancing into rapture
Immerse yourself in this moment...

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Post by angelwithapintglass » Mon Mar 06, 2006 2:39 pm

to feel good about my body, i dance in my underwear! seriously. dancing makes me feel great, so if i'm showing off my body at the same time, the positive feelings bleed into my feelings about my body.

i'm currently very lucky in that i have a very positive attitude towards my body. i have suffered from anorexia in the past, so i'm making the most of my attitude now.

i think theres a fine line, though. theres feeling positive about your body and just shamelessly flaunting it in skimpy clothes, which i dont think is the best idea.

you've got to love your body, but you've got to respect it, too.

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Post by ~starblaze~ » Mon Mar 06, 2006 2:49 pm

I do have body image problems, and have had for years but recently i am starting to take better care of my body, and me. Ive started making an effort to look after my skin and my hair and making an effort with my appearance because if i feel ive made an effort i 'feel' pretty and start to like my body.

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Post by amyfairy » Mon Mar 06, 2006 5:17 pm

daria wrote:I don't compare myself to others.

...okay, sometimes I do. But anytime I catch myself wishing I could have her legs, or her breasts, or her whatever, I tell myself that I don't see myself clearly. I don't think anyone really does... we don't possess the ability to step outside ourselves and see us the way everyone else does. And I realize that I'm too hard on myself, and that I'm falling for society's impossible standard of beauty.
i really like this :)

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Post by daria » Wed Mar 08, 2006 8:28 am

Something else I've been thinking on... my latest project in painting is a self portrait, of sorts... it's an image of my torso. I'm quite a skinny person by nature, always have been. So initially when I drew up the sketches for the painting, I didn't intend on making it known that it was my body specifically. I wanted a body that was very bony, because my idea was to make it look... violent, I suppose. Angry. A statement on how skewed our society's idea of beauty has become. But, the painting has really turned out to be quite beautiful (not saying that egotistically, saying beautiful as opposed to ugly/disturbing), and it's made me realize that this is my body, this is the way it is naturally, and even if it happens to look a lot like those skinny women seen in ads, I haven't done anything bad to get it to look that way. I can still love it, because it's me. And if I'm going to tell everyone else to embrace the differences in our bodies, I have to embrace mine too.

On a bit of a side note: I've decided to make a series of paintings depicting different women, different body types. This is the first. The next one I'll work on will be based on some drawings I made in figure drawing class of a rather heavyset older woman that was one of our models. Working title will be "Curves." I'm thinking of emphasizing the torso region again, but we'll see where it goes. I plan on making it in cool colors, very peaceful, very at ease. Y'know.
You'll find a place where you're beholden to no one
except yourself,
so let them come and see you standing naked
Full of passion, flowing inside out
into creation, becoming one with the present
So go get connected
unshackled essence
Let's f*ck away mortality, you might be independent
I want to get connected
so we can get electric
Then we'll set our souls free dancing into rapture
Immerse yourself in this moment...

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Post by RawBeing » Wed Mar 08, 2006 5:27 pm

That sounds very beautiful. I've thought about painting with my body or painting on my body.
Recently I've been thinking about trying to make up a daily ritual for loving my body. I'm trying to incorporate water in someway-- maybe ceremonial bathing or something.

Summer

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Post by Catylyx » Thu Mar 09, 2006 2:03 am

that painting does sound very beautiful Daria! i wish i was able to see it.

i love this thread...its a very good thing....we could all do to find beautiful things about our body.

i suffer from a very distorted body image, and struggle with anorexia...so things like this is never easy...but as an artist no matter what i hate about myself i just instinctively see the beauty in certain aspects of me. the same way i do with everyone. all the time. lol



i love my hands. if anything they are the one thing i love most on my body...the fingers are long and slender, i have artist hands. they create so much, helping me vent my emotions wether with drawing and painting, or with by writing out the stories trapped inside my mind. i keep my nails long most of the time, makes me feel more elegant, and i try to keep them painted so i can keep from biting them (nervous habit)


i'll see if i can think of something else later.....when i'm feeling more stable with myself.

thank you for this thread...its really neat.



:bluestar:
<i>I am innocent and I have been set free
I no longer have chains around my feet
And no matter where I go or what they say
I am innocent</i> --Third Day
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Post by RawBeing » Thu Mar 09, 2006 7:05 am

To all you wonderful women,
Thank you very much for you feed back im so glad this is helpful. It is very close to my heart. I love your stories and ideas. Please keep sharing your body love with the world.

peace,
Summer

P.S. I sleep naked to honor my body and bring myself back into it.

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Post by Unleash the Bats » Fri Mar 10, 2006 3:45 pm

i dont really honor my body as such, but i like my legs. and i also love it wen a guy places there hand on my back, i love the small of my back... ooo this post has made me really have an itch in the small of my back now!
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Post by black_23 » Mon Mar 27, 2006 11:48 pm

I just want to sya Im not a great lover of my body i;ve had ed and si. But this chain really helped and is now on my coping list, to just do someting nice to my body and make it feel good before anything else and make it feel special, diverts other thoughs. just wanted to say thanku for posting it cos it so helped.
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Post by RawBeing » Tue Mar 28, 2006 1:57 am

Im glad it helped

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Post by shadow of a smile » Wed Mar 29, 2006 4:45 am

i like my legs now! i've been working out a lot and lifting weights and my legs are getting more defined, gaining muscle and losing fat. yay! i work out with a good friend and we always compliment each other, so that's also helping boost my body love. working out is really helping-it helps me feel better mentally and physically and i'm starting to see results. yay for exercise and complimentary friends!
i accept hugs!!!

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1 Corinthians 12:9

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Post by katja » Sat Apr 01, 2006 1:47 pm

ok I'm not gonna say the first thing that comes to mind, coz its rude an no one else has said it.

I guess what I do to make myself feel good is to get all dressed up in nice underwear and new clothes and go out and dance! coz its fun and its good for me and it makes me feel attractive and carefree.

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Post by OverTheWorst » Sat Apr 01, 2006 2:01 pm

I hate my body (scars/bulgy bits etc!) but i know that getting rid of them isn't gonna happen over night!

My moto is "i am who i am and im not gonna change for anyone but me"

We all have body hang-ups but ive learned to love my body, even though i hate it...get me?!

Ive learned that your body is a temple and its needs respect!

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Post by RawBeing » Sun Apr 02, 2006 6:39 am

I had a tough week last week but this forum has helped me a lot. Thank you for so many reasons to be hopeful.

peace
summer

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Post by princessjane » Tue Apr 04, 2006 12:24 am

I like my bum. hehe.

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Post by pretty » Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:08 pm

katja wrote:ok I'm not gonna say the first thing that comes to mind, coz its rude an no one else has said it.
Masturbate? There, I said it :tongue: Great way to love your body and learn to be comfortable in it. Though it's hard to get comfortable with doing it sometimes, it's certainly something worth working on. Not for everyone, obviously.

<a href="http://www.adiosbarbie.com/">This site</a> is great fun, and really good for body image. <a href="http://www.adiosbarbie.com/features/fea ... tml">Seven ways to love your body</a> is especially worth a look.
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