Hi I'm New

hopefully_fighting · Post by **hopefully_fighting** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 3:50 am

I'm Sandy, and I haven't SI since June of 2005, and every day is a struggle. I am proud of my achievement, but I am afraid that I will slip up and wreck everything that I have worked so hard. I'm in therapy. I journal, draw (and I'm a lowsy artist). I take hot baths, read, or listen to music, or put in one of my favorite movies. Anything to distract myself from the urges. When all else fails I call my therapist or write him an email.

When I'm at work, I hold it together pretty good. But I have to admit that I am messing up the job scene a bit with too many absentees due to my depression. It's a new job and I am working on this. I'm coming off 6 years disability I can't mess this up.

Thank you for listening to me. This is the first time I ever done this. If anyone has any suggestions in addition to what I am doing to cope with these urges Please feel free to let me know. Thanks.

Sandy

NobodyToYou · Post by **NobodyToYou** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 4:02 am

Welcome to BUS. Glad you are here...
It sounds like you have a good idea of things that help you right now. There are tons of things in a list on this board somewhere...can't remember where right now.
But I am glad you are here. Hope you find the support you need.

pretty · Post by **pretty** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 6:24 pm

Hello, welcome

I really like your user name. It's good to see some hope.

I think considering where it sounds like you've been, you're doing really great. I think you need to allow yourself to be imperfect and to remember that it's going to be hard sometimes and to give yourself credit for how far you've come.

I also think that it's perfectly natural to be scared of slipping back into si. I've been si free for a fair while now, and I still get terrified of going back there. I think that's a positive thing in a way - I don't want to go back to si, and I think fear of that place is a pretty natural reaction. If I can use that fear to discourage me from going back to hurting myself, it's not such a bad thing to be afraid. I still think about si a lot, sometimes as a very real possibility, but if I can remember what a horrid place it was, that helps sometimes.

I'm babbling on but I hope there was something of use in there somewhere.

Green Beauty · Post by **Green Beauty** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 7:19 pm

I am a man of few words today so i am sorry that i can't give you a detailed reply, but i just wanted to welcome you to bus. Hopefully next time i see you around i will be of more use.

Alex

hopefully_fighting · Post by **hopefully_fighting** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 11:48 pm

Thanks to those who welcomed me. Your messages made my day. It's nice knowing that I am not alone with all of this. Thank you again for your support.

Sandy

hopefully_fighting · Post by **hopefully_fighting** » Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:43 pm

I haven't written here in a while because I'm embarrassed. Last Saturday I SI'd. It was a real bad weekend and in spite of all of my best efforts I still did it.

Of course I'm feeling better now. I'm back to work, and my therapist does not know -- I can't risk loosing him. Not now.

I let myself down and I let him down. 6 months of sobriety down the toilet.
I hope I last longer this time.

sandy - 7 days w/o SI

xx_please_save_me_xx · Post by **xx_please_save_me_xx** » Tue Mar 14, 2006 2:43 am

Hey and welcome the Bus. I hope you get all the help you need and if you ever want to talk to someone personally you can talk to me

OverTheWorst · Post by **OverTheWorst** » Tue Mar 14, 2006 11:17 am

Welcome!

I hope you will find it as useful as i have!

beautiful_facade · Post by **beautiful_facade** » Tue Mar 14, 2006 2:36 pm

Welcome to bus

There's no need to feel embrrassed about a slip up. June 2005...is an aweome achievement...hold on to that and dis-regard your slip up. You're an inspiration.

angel

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