rubber bands as coping tools

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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TainTeD Xx gRAcE
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rubber bands as coping tools

Post by TainTeD Xx gRAcE » Sun Feb 05, 2006 8:10 am

all of us have heard of the idea of snapping a rubber band on our wrists to stop us from cutting.... or at least for lessening the urge... but for me... i think it does just as much harm as the cutting. Not only does it leave welts... it bruises... and it has also bled before...is this really any better? I personally think it's the same thing.

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Post by ViolinPlayingGoat » Sun Feb 05, 2006 5:04 pm

i think sometiems it could be helpful but in some cases yes it is the same thing as si.
we watched a documentary in psych the other week about anger. this woman who spent a lot of time yelling at/swearing at/hitting her children was in family therapy and the therapist suggested the elastic band thing for when she was feeling angry/like she was going to be aggressive, to calm herself down and make her stop to think.
this woman did not already display si behaviour, which is why i thought it was a bizarre idea cos its like teaching her to si :o
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Post by PurplePixie » Sun Feb 05, 2006 6:49 pm

i find it usefull but i dont snap it on my wrist, its like a comfort thing, i always have one on my wrist and when i'm nervous i play with it
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Post by sombra-triste » Sun Feb 19, 2006 3:35 am

i think its a step to help, it may leave welts and stuff, buut it isn't quite as fatal as full blown cutting. its better than just quitting all of a sudden cos you'd be more likely to start up again

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Post by kernewek » Tue Feb 21, 2006 3:35 am

Thank-you for articulating something i have often worried about.

I accept that it is a good way of stopping cutting, but it can be damaging (at least personally) and it still encourages using pain as a coping mechanism. No offense to a previous poster but i find wearing one no more comforting than carrying my blades and not more of a distraction.
Is it supposed to be similar to methadone for heroin addicts?
I would be interested in hearing from anyone who has found this a succesful way of distracting themselves.
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Post by paintedblack » Tue Feb 21, 2006 9:37 am

Obviously I've heard of it, but I never tried it. I thought it would be comparable to cutting because it teaches you the same thing - to depend on that to get you out of a tough spot. Maybe it's true that it's less severe, but I knew it wouldn't work for me.

I've wondered if it ever worked for anyone else. As far as something to play with to keep yourself busy, any jewelry would accomplish that I think. If it helped somebody then I'm glad, but when it was suggested to me I didn't think it made sense at all.

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Post by TainTeD Xx gRAcE » Wed Mar 01, 2006 9:43 pm

My problem is, snappoing it just once or twice doesn't do anything for me. I have to snap it until is bruises or bleeds, so technically it's the same thing. Sure it works, not as well,but it is still pain. Plus, at least for me, it's way easier to get away with in public, so it is actually more readily available which means I could do that more often that cutting.
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Post by Green Beauty » Sat Mar 04, 2006 12:57 pm

Alot of coping methods do incorporate pain because for some that feeling has been the only release they have had for a long time, and feel at a loss without this. It allows that individual to use self harm except in a less damaging way, yes it can still leave bruises, but not scars. Which is what deters most people.

It does keep the person in the routine of harming oneself, but in my view is the lesser of two evils. And is a good form of 'support' until the issues under si are tackled and overcome.

It doesnt work for everyone. If you have to snap the band multiple times until you bleed, i would suggest finding another method that works for you.

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Re: rubber bands as coping tools

Post by WhiteChocolate » Sun Mar 19, 2006 7:56 am

TainTeD Xx gRAcE wrote:all of us have heard of the idea of snapping a rubber band on our wrists to stop us from cutting.... or at least for lessening the urge... but for me... i think it does just as much harm as the cutting. Not only does it leave welts... it bruises... and it has also bled before...is this really any better? I personally think it's the same thing.

opinions?
it has helped me cuz it is somthing that i can focus on instead of the negative thoughts and personalyy i dont use a rubber band i use a hair tie and i don't pull it up so high as to make it welt bleed or bruise and i don't do it for a half an hour just mabey 3,4,or 5 times then i am much more calm and focused on what i need to do so i don't think it is SI if you don't make yourself bleed or bruise or welt

sorry once i start arguing i get a bit worked up so i am not blaming anyone that is just my oppinion

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Post by not your star » Fri Mar 24, 2006 2:23 pm

I didnt find using a rubber band to be helpful fo me. Especially not when I used a hair tie, since most have metal clasps. That caused a wound, and since it was easy to access and always on my arm, I found myself SIing more.

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Post by winnie » Sat Mar 25, 2006 5:35 am

I think rubber band is originally intended as a "wake up call" for people who don't SI.

it's classical conditioning - for example, you don't want to think negative thoughts. So everytime you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, you snap the rubber band and cause some pain. In the long run, hopefully you would associate "thinking negative thoughts" with "pain" from snapping rubber band. Because you don't want the pain you would try to not think negative though.

For people who SI I don't know how it would work - because part of what we get from SI is pain - so snapping rubber band is an alternative way of getting the pain, it may not work to discourage us from not SIing.

But then again, it may distract us enough that we don't go and SI. So I agree maybe it's a step towards not SIing. Just as long as we know what our motives are when we use the rubber band - are we trying to get a different way to get pain? or are we distracting ourselves?

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Post by fragmentsofagirl » Mon Mar 27, 2006 7:17 am

I think it's a bad idea. It encourages using pain to cope with pain, stress, negative emotions, bad thoughts, etc. It could easily become your new form of SI. Not to mention, many people snap them very hard and leave welts and bruises (like you).

This is not to say that it doesn't have its merits. It's probably a lot less physically harmful. However, you need to consider your mental and emotional health as well. I would recommend trying something else. The best coping methods I've found so far (with the help of a therapist) are talking to people and writing, whether it's strictly journaling or it's something creative. It's important to stop and think about what's making you want to SI. How are you feeling? What are you thinking about? It will be a lot easier to stop SI-ing (and stop wanting to) if you understand why you've been SI-ing.

This is something I've been talking about with my counselor recently, so I haven't had that much practice. But, it seems to be helping me. I only hope that I can tell other people and help them too. Good luck!
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