Bitch Fest / Things Left Unsaid II *LA*

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 2:27 am

my mother: i love you just as you are...i realise that you are an adult and i will start treating you like one and let you have your own life when you are at home during the holidays...im sorry if i ever upset you

(never ever going to happen btw ^^)

darren: i love you no matter what you have in your past. ill always love you. i dont care if you have an ed or that you suffer from anxiety and get so depressed you think about od'ing sometimes. ill always be here for you. nothing you say about who you are or about your past will ever scare me because i love you just the way you are.

(ok technically he's said some of that already, but this is before he knows everything, the above works on the presumption that ive told all)

threeam · Post by **threeam** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 7:00 am

I fucking hate PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program). It's a load of CRAP. Everyone there sucks. The staff is lame. I liked the staff at the inpatient a million times more. God damnit. Makes me just want to go back to inpatient... well, not quite.. I can't believe I'm forced to go to this stupid thing every day. blahhhhhhhh.

Thanks for letting me let that out somewhere

good thread!

collide · Post by **collide** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 7:43 am

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

i'm so fucking pissed...first couldn't find ASLAN STUFFED ANIMAL at TOYSRUS that's closing and having discounts...then that stupid FUCKER PHOTOGRAPHER LADY...she only gave us a 1 8x10 picture of me and my bf for our 6 months, so we go to WALGREENS to make a copy and the dude at WALGREENS said he couldn't, and he looked at the back, and so did we...and it was FUCKING COPYRIGHTED...then worked off all that energy off at the gym...and took me FUCKING 2 hours to find this stupid WEBSITE that i need for my PRESENTATION....FUCK SO FUCKING PISSED OFF...wanting to SI too...my bf was just not being helpful...but he did end up finding that DAMN website

collide

BlackKat13 · Post by **BlackKat13** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 3:15 am

I am *Really* mad at my father.

Yeah, I know that he's my dad...but I just think he's an asshole. He's been this way my whole life, and I know it is pointless to think he will change.

He was giving me a ride to therapy my last appointment, because it was moved to a new building and I didn't want to take the bus (Unsure of where it was)...And, I know it sounds like I am making a huge frigging deal out of nothing, but he just made comments the whole way there that seemed cruel...and very unsupportive of my recovery.

Like, on the way there we passed the mental hospital and he said "Oh look...Barbara's office is so close to the hospital! Isn't that convenient! It would be such a short ambulance ride!"

And, when he pulled up to drop me off, he pulled into a handicapped spot. Mum said "You can't park here." and he said "Oh, it's only for a second. Besides, if anyone asks-Lauren is mentally handicapped."

I just wish I had more courage to stand up to him. But all I did as I walked away was smile and say "Bye dad, thanks for the ride!" I just wish I were strong enough to tell him that these things hurt me...but I know exactly why I'm not. Because he would just laugh at me…

The one man every girl is supposed to be able to turn to, to trust…is her father…

But I think mine is an asshole.

collide · Post by **collide** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 7:34 pm

oh i hate my FUCKING prof.....we had a group presenation last nite...i went second in my group...and it was on a broad topic TEENAGE SEX EDUCATION...and 2x that stupid prof interrupted and told me to SUMMARIZE....like i wasn't???????.....so i thought that was so FREAKIN RUDE....plus the fact that she goes off talking forever,...doesn't even give us breaks!!!!!!...and sometimes goes over class time....
so screw her!!!!!!!....gonna give her the worst EVALUATION ever!

viewtopic.php?t=89417 (my POETRY)
viewtopic.php?t=88288&start=420 (my PLACE)

COLLIDE

disastercake · Post by **disastercake** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 9:29 pm

It seems like my friends only ever hang out with me if everyone else is busy, or if they need something.

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 4:58 am

fuck my friends I hate them. ALl they do is hang out every fucking day without me. ANd they act like I DONT KNOW. They talk about it coinstantly when they think I'm not listening, when I'm not there, all over myspace,they act like everything is fine. I hate myself because of it. My best friend in the world

in the fucking world

isn't my best friend. why does this have to hurt so bad? Its like they arent doing anything wrong, but they are. They havent said anything bad about me (well most of them) its just like I'm not alive. When Im around they pretend like all they've done all week is sit on their asses and watch TV when here theyve all been EVERYWHERE mall movies downtown. When I'm there my best friend acts like she's bored a bit. And I love her to death. So much because I tell her almost everything and apparently she just tells me whatever. god it hurts so bad

I guess I'm rambling. Its just I havent gotten to talk about it because I have no one to talk to. I cant outright hate them and tell them when techincally they havent done anything wrong. They think I think they are still my friends. Or they think they are still my friends. But they are the only friends I've got.

disastercake · Post by **disastercake** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 5:11 pm

vowsofsadness, I know what you mean, and I dont' want to say anything in fear of sounding like a bitch or making things worse.

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 7:49 pm

yeah I've noticed that a lot of people have the same problem on the outside there seems to be no solution

Surly · Post by **Surly** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 1:33 pm

I HATE fucking school, I have SO MUCH fucking work to do, I have to write essays AGAIN if I dont get a fucking high grade - NO ONE ELSE HAS TO! Everyone is fucking brushing my shit under the rug again, trying to act like it isnt FUCKING there... I cant see my girlfriend out of school because my FUCKING PARENTS are FUCKING HOMOPHOBES and they would do EVERYTHING they could to hurt HER. My two BEST FRIENDS dont have time to call me anymore, and I dont have time to call them cos of FUCKING work, and I dont have ANY fucking credit, and we never see each other anymore, even though we all WANT TO. All the fucking BITCHES at school love to shout out bits of GOSSIP about me, just in case I HAVENT ALREADY HEARD IT.

WELL I FUCKING HAVE!

I want to go to therapy, but NO ONE can be bothered to see about it EXCEPT ME, and I wont be allowed to go out of school TO GET HELP (even when I have a free) because MY GRADES are more important than ME ... Or so it seems... ITS ONLY OPEN IN MY SCHOOL HOURS SO I HAVE TO SAY BUHBAI TO THAT. My parents are OBVIOUSLY depressed, but are trying to hide it from me - NOT WORKING. I have to SMOKE in secret from them - EVEN THOUGH IM OLD ENOUGH - because they wouldnt pay for my vocal lessons if I smoke AND I HAVENT GOT A JOB TO PAY FOR THEM MYSELF.

I CANT FIND TIME TO BE HAPPY - Its all taken up with school work.

My ankle hurts AND IM GOING TO BE MADE TO DO PE. Im WALKING AROUND BAREFOOT. Im not going to EAT today, because WE ARE GOING TO THE THEATRE and im not eating UNHEALTHY FOOD during the week - THE REST ARE GETTING PIZZA.

Im getting stared at by one of those BITCHES.

I have half an hour until I can see my girlfriend. It seems like FOREVER.

EVERYONE THINKS IM CRAZY and I might be, but they dont have to TREAT ME THAT WAY.

.... That was a long rant... I could go on... But I think Ive said enough now.

~Surly

jaded melody · Post by **jaded melody** » Sat Feb 11, 2006 12:00 am

Debbie...

Im sorry. Im sorry i couldnt be a good patient. Im sorry i couldnt look at you today. It just hurt so much to say goodbye to you that i would have burst into tears if id said a word. I was fighting back the tears. But I wanted to tell you... thank you.... SO MUCH.... you gave me hope... and i dont know what im going to do without you. Im sorry i couldnt cry. I wish when you were saying nice things to me and i had to stare at the floor that i had just let myself cry... but my mum was there. And Nadia too. I wanted to talk to you by yourself. I really did.

but please please PLEASE dont leave me. I CANT COPE. I cant live. I really cant. You were the only thing i had left... keeping me going... the only person who was there for me. Who i could TALK to. And now you're gone and I can never see you again and it hurts SO SO SO BAD. PLEASE PLEASE DONT LEAVE PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME.

PLEASE

please...

dont leave.

I cant do this alone.

Beasty · Post by **Beasty** » Sun Feb 12, 2006 1:45 pm

A- I'm sorry, I fucked up. I'm back on my meds and I will grovel for as long as I need to get you back. She's just a fake and a slut. I was stupid. I cant express the depth of my sorrow. I'll do anything for you back. Anything. I love you.

M- I'm sorry, hun. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry I didn't believe how much it was hurting you. I'm sorry I let him kiss me and plotted to go out with him. I'm sorry I cheated on Lizzie. I'm sorry I just killed our friendship. Can you ever forgive me?

revelation · Post by **revelation** » Sun Feb 12, 2006 4:32 pm

Wallace; I shouldnt have raped you... im so sorry. Im a fuck head who deserves to have his dick chopped off. nothing i can do will make it up to you but know i'll never do it to anyone else ever again.

Mum; Im sorry that happened to you. its not your fault.

Dad; Im sorry i was never around... im a piece of shit and i want to know you now. Please forgive me.

collide · Post by **collide** » Sun Feb 12, 2006 8:39 pm

i hate my fucking advisor!!!!!!!!!!.......man, i dropped a class with her approval because i got a PT job...then she told me she was so happy that i talked to her (because she knows some of my emotional stuff/prob)...then later i get a phone call- she telling me that i should drop my SAT class...wtf?????....i don't like my SAT class...but it's a contiunation of the other SAT class so if i drop it, then i will forget A LOT...plus the other class would conflict more because of work....MAN I HATE HER...she left it up to me...but MAN....she keeps telling me i am BRIGHT and not to OVERLOAD MYSELF and when i decided to drop that classs she was HAPPY ....then she leaves me that message???????.....I HATE HER

collide

(*Haven*) · Post by **(*Haven*)** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 5:59 pm

D~Don't feel bad about calling me. Call every day if you need to. Call me beore appointments, if there's something you need to talk about and are afraid you won't be able to bring it up in my office. You aren't a burden. You aren't, and I wish you didn't feel that way.

Mum~I'm sorry.

beautiful_facade · Post by **beautiful_facade** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 7:13 pm

Kat - i'm sorry i gave you those ultimatums, let's come to a compromise

Skyeler · Post by **Skyeler** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 5:49 am

Ash

Hey babe, what's up, sorry I didn't answer, things have been fucking insane around here, and I was too drunk to remember I owned a mother fucking computer.

We're cool dude, you meant to much to me for me to just forget you existed.

ps. I fucking hate New York... did I ever tell you that?

angelwithapintglass · Post by **angelwithapintglass** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 9:36 pm

O: "There's something about you... do you, I dont know, fancy coming out to see a film with me this week or something?"
as simple as that. as simple as that! and i could say it, but unfortunately i have a deathly fear of rejection. huzzah!

L: "I am sorry for being an utter bitch these last million months. I am no better or than you and I realise that, now. I'll also stop depending on you half the time and ignoring you the rest of it. I swear, I miss the 'fer' days. I will not be a bitch, I will not be a bitch, I will not be a bitch. You are hotter and cleverer than me afterall!"
ha.. i wish!

L: "It did mean something to me but if I'm honest, I think it's just one of those things that just... happens. I'm not going to 'tell', we can keep it to ourselves. Its nothing to be ashamed of. I did enjoy it."

UL: "Feel free to come along and join us. You don't even need to do that well. No qualification, just jump right in next October! We'd love to have you."

JA: "Wow. You are.. the best. I can't believe you weren't in this last year."

har har.. we will see.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Tue Feb 21, 2006 1:51 am

Darren: I know that you're struggling and I want to try and help you....I'm always here for you and i love you for you and not how you look...and I don't care that my friends think you're not pretty....I still love you...and I understand....and I want to help you anyway I can....and I wish I knew the answer

red umbrellas · Post by **red umbrellas** » Tue Feb 21, 2006 11:08 am

i...how could you say what you did. i know you didn't know that it would hurt....i feel so broken. i'm sorry i hoped....but i wish you felt the same
i don't know what to do now....you've accidentally destroyed me, and my whole thoughts of how things would work

bus

Bitch Fest / Things Left Unsaid II LA

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