Dealing with the pain...*SI* *SU*

brittany15 · Post by **brittany15** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 2:11 am

I stand and look around and I see a cold, damp, dark room and as I look I see something, I see a person..alittle girl curled up in the corner crying. I strugle to go to her but I walk up and when I see her I freeze...for theres a knife on the floor next to her covered in blood and has she holds her arm I could see her holding something..when I relized what it was I died...for how could she feal so much pain to think that?...her crying is calming down now...she holds up her hand and she looks at me as she wisppers "im sorry..*bang!*" It's all over now..confused and shocked I walked over to her, the words that spelled "die" carved in her arm were gushing out blood...right next to her, under her knife was a paper...I picked it up. With it covered in blood and hard to read...I spelled it out "mommy..daddy, im so sorry! I love you so much but I had..." and wonce I finally looked at her face it killed me! because right there I reliezed that I wasnt just looking at a normal little girl...it was me..the little girl mommy and daddy grown to love and charish..their precous little angel! I wondered could it be?...if thats me then how am I?..how could I?...and it hit me, the last thing I could remeber was the silver bullet...

brittany15 · Post by **brittany15** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 2:13 am

yes i wrote that and im afraid that some time really soon its gonna come true and im afriad to face that fact! im getting help for im ISing but somethimes im afraid its not gonna be enought and im gonna breaek my promise to my mom and my family and my friends and my counclier that i made them and end up cutting that one last time but it wont but just for one last time it will happen over and over again until i cant do it no more! im just all comfused and hurt at the same time and i dont know what to do..and i did something today that i shouldn't have done! everything are just gonna get worse and happen all over again like the last time i IS!! UGH!!

brittany15 · Post by **brittany15** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 2:35 am

it makes me pretty sad when no one replays

brittany15 · Post by **brittany15** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 2:50 am

do you feal like sucided tonight? ... because i feal like it for some reason and i have no clue why

Digitalis · Post by **Digitalis** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 8:01 am

Maybe you should explain to them the pressure that you are under, and find another thing to do as a way of coping to take the place of SI, ignoring it doesn’t work. That is because it is a symptom of something else, not standing alone, you SI for a reason and when that gets resolved your fear will pass. Best of luck, PM me if you need to gentle hugs.

And heres a welcome cow, it's tradition

green · Post by **green** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:17 pm

your first post is pretty graphic... you might want to put a trigger warning in the title.

bus

Dealing with the pain...SI SU

Dealing with the pain...SI SU

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