tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.
Moderators: Spidey, noldo
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Nazgul
- bus addict

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- Location: flaming hot TX Age: 32
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by Nazgul » Wed Jan 04, 2006 3:15 am
when I was little I was cruel to animals ( a friend's cat). nobody IRL knows this. NOBODY.
sometimes people make me so mad I really want to kill them but I act like I'm just joking. I'm scared if I get psychotic again what I might do.
I think I might be masochistic.
Every time I think a girl looks pretty I get scared that I might be bi. Even though I don't want that kind of relationship with a woman.
I'm scared to have sex, even after I find "the right guy" and get married. This is because I was SAed, even though not r*ped.
I'm embarrassed that I'm making this post.
PMs or posts in my Place (sorry I don't know how to link) are welcome

"If I owned Texas and hell, I'd rent out Texas and live in hell." ~Former US Senator, on touring Texas in the 1800s
*hugs are ALWAYS welcome*
*SI free July 22, 2006-October -November 5, 2010*
*SI free since April 28, 2012*
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jaded melody
- forum moderator emeritus

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by jaded melody » Wed Jan 04, 2006 10:29 am
(Double post.)
Last edited by
jaded melody on Wed Jan 04, 2006 10:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
"Between two worlds life hovers like a star,
twixt night and morn, upon the horizon's verge."
- Lord Byron
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jaded melody
- forum moderator emeritus

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by jaded melody » Wed Jan 04, 2006 10:29 am
If i get diagnosed with EDNOS i think i will kill myself because it will mean that im not good enough at losing weight/being thin to be anorexic.
PMs welcome.
"Between two worlds life hovers like a star,
twixt night and morn, upon the horizon's verge."
- Lord Byron
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marshmallowfluff
- forum moderator emeritus

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by marshmallowfluff » Wed Jan 04, 2006 4:28 pm
i dont want to get better yet. i'm not ready.

"Dance like no one's watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like there's nobody listening.
And live like it's heaven on earth."
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flipflopfetish
- awe-inspiring

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by flipflopfetish » Thu Jan 05, 2006 2:04 am
I haven't SIed in three days, I'm scared I won't want to again.
I'm a sick, horrible person, I shouldn't want to keep SIing.
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Callisto
- postmaster

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by Callisto » Sat Jan 07, 2006 5:14 pm

PM's are fine
- i think i'm falling in love
- i'm scared of screwing it up again though
- i'm scared that because i'm so far away at uni that you'll stop loving me
- i'd be lost without you
- i don't know if i could take it if you did stop loving me
- i'm trying to trust you, i know that i can, but part of me still tells me that i shouldn't. that i'll get hurt if i do.
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Not_what
- being the change

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by Not_what » Sat Jan 07, 2006 5:23 pm
I'm fed up of taking the blame, although it's probably my fault.
I wish I had the strength to SI
I wish I had the control to not eat ever again
I'm a fraud
Replies/whatever are welcome
*It is only in darkness you can see the stars*
**Hakuna Matata**
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Callisto
- postmaster

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by Callisto » Sat Jan 07, 2006 8:01 pm
one phone call has made me feel so much better and less lonely.
but its also made me want to run back home and see him again.
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oneWayOneLifeOneLove
- building community

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Catylyx
- orange smartie

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- Location: Finally in a place that i feel alive.
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by Catylyx » Sun Jan 08, 2006 5:42 am
pm's are good...
Even though i know it wasn't my fault...i still feel like it was when i was sa'ed the first time. My cousin molested me...
i was too young to know what was going on....all i knew was that it wasn't right.....
i was molested by a stranger when i was 10/11 ...i was walking through my apt complex and he just grabbed me....
i tried to kill myself...but i hadn't eaten anything for weeks so i started throwing up...my step dad was right there and he never knew.
Nick kissed my wrist when i showed him my cuts. .....i never told anyone that....but it made me feel more loved than i ever had been.
i've stopped eating again...and nobody's noticing.
i hate sleep.
.......

<i>I am innocent and I have been set free
I no longer have chains around my feet
And no matter where I go or what they say
I am innocent</i> --Third Day

**
1 YEAR**~~back on the wagon 6/19/06~~
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Callisto
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by Callisto » Sun Jan 08, 2006 2:07 pm
replies ok
i convince myself that people hate me so that i feel less guilty about pushing them away.
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steady hands
- quintessential regular

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by steady hands » Tue Jan 10, 2006 6:57 am
*everything ok*
I can feel myself going slowly downhill again.
I want to swallow the entire new bottle of tylenol just to see what it feels like and if it'll kill me.
god, i'm so ashamed.
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Callisto
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by Callisto » Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:13 pm
pm's ok
im scared of ever really getting better so i deliberately mess it up everytime i try
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VowsOfSadness
- sock rocker

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by VowsOfSadness » Wed Jan 11, 2006 7:40 pm
Im at the end
on the verge
I have been giving my friends little hints and clues but they havent noticed or they dont care or havent done anything.
I just try to release these feelings but nothing ever goes away.
I guess there is something wrong with someone who has so many friends who dont want her. I am an invisible friend.
And yes I'm mean and push them away because they are leaving me. I said I hate all my friends and want them to die but I guess I'm just so hurt and pain makes you say things, but it doesnt matter cause its as if they dont care either way.
all of them togather w/o me
PMS very VERY welcome
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nirvana
- spiffy maximus

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by nirvana » Thu Jan 12, 2006 3:21 am
*replies welcome*
i'm still in love with him. he cheated on me for seven months, with his ex-girlfriend. and i took him back.
i don't trust him.
i thought i was a fool for no one, but baby i'm a fool for you.
[safe since february 2005.]
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Callisto
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by Callisto » Thu Jan 12, 2006 4:34 am
i want to purge so bad
i plan to starve myself tomorrow
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flipflopfetish
- awe-inspiring

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by flipflopfetish » Thu Jan 12, 2006 4:41 am
I really want to go to the concert, but I don't know if it's worth being in the car with my mom.
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Callisto
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by Callisto » Thu Jan 12, 2006 2:51 pm
i only believe that people love me if they tell me everyday because im so insecure
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glass angel
- honored elder

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by glass angel » Fri Jan 13, 2006 6:20 pm
he stops me from self-harming and i resent him for it
"He loves you. You have so much."
"I know, and I see it all around me, but it stops at my skin. I can't let it inside. It's always been like that and it's always gonna be like that."
~Shortbus
My Place
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ghoulie13
- bus mechanic

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by ghoulie13 » Fri Jan 13, 2006 7:28 pm
today's secret..
i love over-alls and i buy them. i never wear them

.....
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