Things Left Unsaid *LA*
S- you're my bliss... you manage to just erase all the bad and make everything just about us. I don't know how you do it... But I never want to loose it.
Most of the time I feel like I don't belong.
But I got my new favorite record today.
My favorites change every single day.
Except you,
You'll always be number one.
[/center]
A- I miss you so much. I know you've only been gone a few days but it seems like ages. I'm slowing beginning to have a relapse; its coming back. But I'm stronger I promise I am. I won't cut if only so that you won't. But oh god I miss it. I really do. Please come back, just hold me.
C- You motherfucking bastard. Well, maybe not motherfucking. If you so much as hit her, I will shove my katana into your dick and kill you.
The World- go screw yourself.
C- You motherfucking bastard. Well, maybe not motherfucking. If you so much as hit her, I will shove my katana into your dick and kill you.
The World- go screw yourself.
Eisa = Beasty's Twin
Beasty's Place!
I want to connect the dots for you. You accuse me of ignoring everything you say to me. Let me say that you ignore everything I tell you. No matter what I explain to you, you disregard it. Couldn't you fucking see how crazy I was about you? But no, you kept insisting no one would like you! I'm not stupid. I can see through your disguised veil: you wanted someone, but not me. But you didn't care about me enough to be honest and open from the front. You kept saying there would be no "us", but you kept leading me on. You kept showing affection, despite that I explicitly said it would make me more attached to you.
You are a fool and utterly clueless. Above all, you are dishonest. You love your image so much that you would lie to protect it. You were so afraid of your ruining your reputation and being like my exes that you lied to me. You can get angry, but you will do both of us much better to admit it.
First, you put yourself down for being flaky. But what you did was a choice! It wasn't an inherent flaw about you. For Christ's sake, take responsibility! Stop trying to be a goddamn people pleaser and just outright admit to me if you don't want to talk to me. How do you think I feel when I tell you over and over that it hurts when you flake on me, yet you apologize *AND* keep on doing it!? By doing so, you showed blatant disregard for my words! Yet you accuse me of not listening to you! Why should I? I don't think your words are honest at all if you show such disregard for mine!
I know you are hurt, but I just want to nail these words into your thick skull! Stop for a second and see things from my perspective! Take a close look at yourself and your motives! You will see you are being dishonest!
You beat yourself up for not having an answer to my problems. You are more concerned about appearing helpful than being helpful. I never wanted you for the sake of solving my problems! I just want to be important and significant in your life! I want to be someone significant to you rather than someone to help in order to boost your own ego! If you cared one whit about me, you'd have the humility to accept it when you can't magically solve my problems or when you were wrong about something. Hell, if you cared one whit about me, you'd be honest and stop trying to friend me out of pity! I don't want your pity! I want you!
I don't want a friendship for the sake of you making yourself feel like a fucking hero! I am royally pissed that you lied over and over to me about wanting to be my friend, when your actions showed clearly different.
Go ahead and suck up to your therapist. Go ahead and spread rumors about me being "negative." Think whatever you want! Boast how worried you are about me to make yourself look like a saint (or codependent)! Go ahead and listen to "professional" opinions about me!
Or better yet, why don't you shut your mouth and open your ears and heart to who I really am? If you are my friend, you will be open to who I am, not who you want me to be!
You are a fool and utterly clueless. Above all, you are dishonest. You love your image so much that you would lie to protect it. You were so afraid of your ruining your reputation and being like my exes that you lied to me. You can get angry, but you will do both of us much better to admit it.
First, you put yourself down for being flaky. But what you did was a choice! It wasn't an inherent flaw about you. For Christ's sake, take responsibility! Stop trying to be a goddamn people pleaser and just outright admit to me if you don't want to talk to me. How do you think I feel when I tell you over and over that it hurts when you flake on me, yet you apologize *AND* keep on doing it!? By doing so, you showed blatant disregard for my words! Yet you accuse me of not listening to you! Why should I? I don't think your words are honest at all if you show such disregard for mine!
I know you are hurt, but I just want to nail these words into your thick skull! Stop for a second and see things from my perspective! Take a close look at yourself and your motives! You will see you are being dishonest!
You beat yourself up for not having an answer to my problems. You are more concerned about appearing helpful than being helpful. I never wanted you for the sake of solving my problems! I just want to be important and significant in your life! I want to be someone significant to you rather than someone to help in order to boost your own ego! If you cared one whit about me, you'd have the humility to accept it when you can't magically solve my problems or when you were wrong about something. Hell, if you cared one whit about me, you'd be honest and stop trying to friend me out of pity! I don't want your pity! I want you!
I don't want a friendship for the sake of you making yourself feel like a fucking hero! I am royally pissed that you lied over and over to me about wanting to be my friend, when your actions showed clearly different.
Go ahead and suck up to your therapist. Go ahead and spread rumors about me being "negative." Think whatever you want! Boast how worried you are about me to make yourself look like a saint (or codependent)! Go ahead and listen to "professional" opinions about me!
Or better yet, why don't you shut your mouth and open your ears and heart to who I really am? If you are my friend, you will be open to who I am, not who you want me to be!
- twistddreamr
- sprouting branches
- Posts: 1144
- Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2005 6:11 am
- Location: New England, USA
sometimes i wonder if i really want out of this darkness
As I search for the resolution...
"we're all just a little bit fucked up." ~Rob Thomas
"you have to earn your heaven." ~ Pop RIP
- acdcrocker1909
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 10453
- Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:42 am
- Gender: Transguy
- Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red
I am not okay, cant you all see it?
Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.
Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.
- BringMeToLife
- settling in
- Posts: 85
- Joined: Wed Dec 28, 2005 6:07 pm
- Contact:
J: "Grow the f*** up, stop being so childish and demanding. Your tantrums are worse than my 3 year olds"
A: "Stop letting everyone walk all over you"
C: "Thanks for being there ******
R: "Leave us the f*** alone, I know why you doing this, I'm not stupid"
"I'm not fat, I'm not stupid and I'm not nieve.... I never was any of those things" (except nieve when I was younger).
"get over yourselves"
A: "Stop letting everyone walk all over you"
C: "Thanks for being there ******
R: "Leave us the f*** alone, I know why you doing this, I'm not stupid"
"I'm not fat, I'm not stupid and I'm not nieve.... I never was any of those things" (except nieve when I was younger).
"get over yourselves"
- acdcrocker1909
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 10453
- Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:42 am
- Gender: Transguy
- Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red
m- just fuck you okay?!
Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.
Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.
A: Why can't you ever hug me when we see eachother?! I wish you could express your appreciation of me a little more often, and in for real, not through silly jokes about how small, helpless and meaningless my existence is. really, I laugh about it, and I think its funny at the times you, "B" and I am joking around, but it makes me cry myself to sleep sometimes, and it makes me bleed, starv and scream. I only asking for some sign of friendly approach.
B: How the fuck can you say that we are sliding away from eachother when you never are the one to call!? don't you realise there takes two to tango! And thank you for letting me sleeping over some time to time.
A & B: I was really sad to hear about your night out in the city tree days ago. Sad becaus I can't really understand why you didn't call... Even through I probably would have said "I can't come", I wouldn't have to feel completely frozen out and unwelcome when i came to the "party" the day after.
C: I can't really but in words how much it m,eans to me, taht I can call you whenever and ask for company.
D: Why did we have sex? I would choose you to be the father of my childs any day... still I would choose to save a fucking goat from drowning, instead of you!
E: Why can't I just be your perfet daugther? Why canät you just forget I told you about some of my problems? you know, erase and rewind. I wish you didn't know
B: How the fuck can you say that we are sliding away from eachother when you never are the one to call!? don't you realise there takes two to tango! And thank you for letting me sleeping over some time to time.
A & B: I was really sad to hear about your night out in the city tree days ago. Sad becaus I can't really understand why you didn't call... Even through I probably would have said "I can't come", I wouldn't have to feel completely frozen out and unwelcome when i came to the "party" the day after.
C: I can't really but in words how much it m,eans to me, taht I can call you whenever and ask for company.
D: Why did we have sex? I would choose you to be the father of my childs any day... still I would choose to save a fucking goat from drowning, instead of you!
E: Why can't I just be your perfet daugther? Why canät you just forget I told you about some of my problems? you know, erase and rewind. I wish you didn't know
- DecemberLivy
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7474
- Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2004 10:38 am
- Location: London
S- wish i could tell you how much you mean to me, i'm sorry, i dont want to scare you away. i just want to be your friend
M- i wish you'd get off my back. i understand its not your fault you have mood swings, but please, dont only direct your anger at me. its not like i go numb when you scream abuse at me, i feel it and it kills.
you said something really stupid in the car the night before new years when you were driving bathy home, you were so insensitive. you were talking about making life hard for youself by drinking, smoking, doing drugs ect. i wasn't saying much, just agreeing quietly. and then you said 'its like cutting yourself... whats the point?' you said it on purpose, i know you did, you like to taunt me about my problems, dont you? it makes you feel better about yours.
the bottom line is: i dont want to include you in my problems, they are none of your business. i'm getting over them myself with the help of my friends and snide comments dont help, they just make me feel like dying all over again.
please think before you speak
R- i need to talk to you, alone.
M- i wish you'd get off my back. i understand its not your fault you have mood swings, but please, dont only direct your anger at me. its not like i go numb when you scream abuse at me, i feel it and it kills.
you said something really stupid in the car the night before new years when you were driving bathy home, you were so insensitive. you were talking about making life hard for youself by drinking, smoking, doing drugs ect. i wasn't saying much, just agreeing quietly. and then you said 'its like cutting yourself... whats the point?' you said it on purpose, i know you did, you like to taunt me about my problems, dont you? it makes you feel better about yours.
the bottom line is: i dont want to include you in my problems, they are none of your business. i'm getting over them myself with the help of my friends and snide comments dont help, they just make me feel like dying all over again.
please think before you speak
R- i need to talk to you, alone.
<center>my walpole cafe
"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>
I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.
"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>
I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.
H & G -- you're menna be my friends....and I know you are always always there for me when I really need you, when I feel truly awful, but friends are menna be there in the good times as well. Friends spend time together outside of school, like you guys do. Like you n N do. I really like N as well. I thought that when we all spent the night at your house H, we had a great time. I know I talked loads about me, but I also tried to listen when you guys wanted to say anything. I know I talk alot, but Ill always shut up if you want to talk, because I know I dominate conversations. I just feel as if I care about you guys, and our friendship a whole lot more than you do. I know you have a history together, and that you three were all really good friends when you were in junior school...but why does that mean that NOW I have to be excluded? It hurt me when you guys went out together and didnt invite me. I wouldnt have accepted I dont think, but it would have been nice to be asked all the same....
T -- I love you. I really do. You're fantastic, and I know Ive fucked you around, but I really like you, and I think we really need to talk about stuff. Partly cus I need to say sorry, partly cus I need to explain a few things, and partly cus we've never talked about it and I think we need to. And even if, you dont like me how I like you, I need to know that for closure...and y'know, it's fine if you dont. I just need to know...So, yes, we need to talk
A -- I think our friendship is ending...you irritate me, and I get jealous of what you have with T...it wouldnt have lasted anyway...
S -- I hope you wont hate me now Ive told you more about myself...
T -- I love you. I really do. You're fantastic, and I know Ive fucked you around, but I really like you, and I think we really need to talk about stuff. Partly cus I need to say sorry, partly cus I need to explain a few things, and partly cus we've never talked about it and I think we need to. And even if, you dont like me how I like you, I need to know that for closure...and y'know, it's fine if you dont. I just need to know...So, yes, we need to talk
A -- I think our friendship is ending...you irritate me, and I get jealous of what you have with T...it wouldnt have lasted anyway...
S -- I hope you wont hate me now Ive told you more about myself...
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.
If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.
If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...
people at the hospital - WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR PEA-SIZED BRAINS THAT I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY THAT $11,000 BILL FOR BEING INPATIENT WHEN MY INSURANCE RAN OUT? I am NOT rich I am a college student who does NOT have a job ATM and who does NOT have any money!! I can't pay your bill! Stop harassing me you make me feel like a bad person! Can't you figure out that you shouldn't harass someone about a bill like that when they saw you two months prior because they planned to kill themselves?
((((SIGH))))
Honestly peoples . . .
((((SIGH))))
Honestly peoples . . .
"If I owned Texas and hell, I'd rent out Texas and live in hell." ~Former US Senator, on touring Texas in the 1800s
*hugs are ALWAYS welcome*
*SI free July 22, 2006-October -November 5, 2010*
*SI free since April 28, 2012*
Dear Tim:
GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Please?
Dear Will:
Im trying to let go of you, please dont make that hard for me, its been so long
Mr M:
I want to talk to you tomorrow....I hope you'll forgive me crying and being pathetic....
GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Please?
Dear Will:
Im trying to let go of you, please dont make that hard for me, its been so long
Mr M:
I want to talk to you tomorrow....I hope you'll forgive me crying and being pathetic....
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.
If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.
If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...
- Priceless
- staff member emeritus
- Posts: 21694
- Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2003 11:11 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Theres something rotten in the state of Denmark, and its not me!
rp:
will you be with me?????
will you be with me?????
<center>
|| my place *read 1 post please* || my livejournal || || my deviant-art ||
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
-- Frank Outlaw
Proud member of OATS - Oldies against text speak
</center>
R: *ahem* sorry................ hmm. i dont think i'll drink that much again for a while......... sorry.
<center>
<b>FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?!</b>
~"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."~
Another Lonely Day
~~Laura~~
</center>
<b>FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?!</b>
~"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."~
Another Lonely Day
~~Laura~~
</center>
Mother: thanks for once again attempting to rain on my parade and make my xmas and new year shitty just because you are old and bitter. just because you can turn your love on and off doesnt mean i can.
Darren: Thank you so much for coming into my life....i really am falling for you now. you're the greatest thing thats happened to me in such a long time and i never want to let you go.
Darren: Thank you so much for coming into my life....i really am falling for you now. you're the greatest thing thats happened to me in such a long time and i never want to let you go.
- balletomane
- one of us
- Posts: 13705
- Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:54 am
- kcubrats
- meeting the neighbors
- Posts: 273
- Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2006 9:05 am
- Location: where the streets have no name
Adam : i love you
Gama : check your fucking email inbox and answer me!!!
Perla : Thank you so much
Germana : I adore you, thanks so much
Paty, Eunice : fucking bitches, i hate you
Olga, Alba : stop being the followers of the bitches mentioned above and think for youselves!!
Bruise : fade, fade, fade, FUCKING FADE!!!!!
SI : you didnt beat me today, so i have the right to laugh at you....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you're such an idiot....
that's all by now....
Gama : check your fucking email inbox and answer me!!!
Perla : Thank you so much
Germana : I adore you, thanks so much
Paty, Eunice : fucking bitches, i hate you
Olga, Alba : stop being the followers of the bitches mentioned above and think for youselves!!
Bruise : fade, fade, fade, FUCKING FADE!!!!!
SI : you didnt beat me today, so i have the right to laugh at you....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you're such an idiot....
that's all by now....
NEVER AGAIN.....sometime soon
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