Things Left Unsaid *LA*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Post by Guest » Thu Dec 15, 2005 1:04 pm

S - please forgive me for what i will do tomorrow.

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Aly
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Post by Aly » Thu Dec 15, 2005 5:26 pm

You make me feel rubbish. Like im failing at being your friend. But in fact, logically, I know it is you who is fialing at being my friend.
I just want you to care, and yet, you dont seem to. I want you to trust me, yet you clearly dont.

~~~~

I wish you'd just tell me what Ive done wrong. Im going to ask you tomorrow...Please tell me the truth, dont blow me off....dont lie to me

~~~~

I cant help it, but Im blaming you for him being mad at me. I feel like you've been saying Ive been bitching to you about him....it's probably not true, It's probably just jealousy talking....
Soemtiems I hate you. You're so smug in your perfect wonderful life....and you dont even try to understand, do you? You dont really care...
This next one's for you....I hope oneday you know that.
Sometimes I hate you....
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.


If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...

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Green Beauty
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Post by Green Beauty » Thu Dec 15, 2005 9:20 pm

Dave fuck you. Seriously. Fuck you.

Elena
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Post by Elena » Fri Dec 16, 2005 2:34 pm

"mother" tte iu thing-
Stop expecting my to love you when you treat my like you do. Who wouldn`t be sick of it? All you`re doing is making me hate you. Why don`t you just die. Then we`d both be a lot happier. Just die.

***

S-
Don`t be a moron. You`re a really wonderful person but you`re an idiot sometimes. Aho.

Okan-
I wish you were my real mom. I wish you were here right now. I wish I could call you right now and go to the house and see you. I love you.
hugs always welcome

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marshmallowfluff
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Post by marshmallowfluff » Fri Dec 16, 2005 6:12 pm

You wasted my time. i told you everything that happened, then you don't even bother using it. Do you have any idea how stupid im gunna look when my friends find out now? do you know they're gunna think im a serial liar? anything anyone tells me now, i've gutta keep it to myself because what you say, it never happens. it fucks me off. i told you stuff i'd never told before just so i could help other people, and you don't even fucking bother using what i said! You said you'd phone the day after, and you never did. you ring and say you're sorry blah blah blah blah blah you have no fucking idea how hard it was to talk about it. I waited weeks for you to phone then when you do it's to tell me you're not using it. fab. well thanks alot.
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"Dance like no one's watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like there's nobody listening.
And live like it's heaven on earth."

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marshmallowfluff
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Post by marshmallowfluff » Fri Dec 16, 2005 6:21 pm

ok.. so its not your fault. but if they weren't gunna use it why did they send you round?
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"Dance like no one's watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like there's nobody listening.
And live like it's heaven on earth."

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pandora
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Post by pandora » Sat Dec 17, 2005 7:51 am

why are you never there when I need you.
does anyone care about my potential dead-ness.... not REALLY.

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Aly
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Post by Aly » Sat Dec 17, 2005 4:01 pm

YOU COMPLETE WANKER
How fucking DARE you? I think it's the least I deserve. All I know is that on monday, everything was fine between us, we were getting on great. And then, all of a sudden, on tuesday you hated me. I mean, clearly I did something, just its hard for me to know what when you wont tell me. I mean, I went home and things were fine. So, somehow, whilst I was at home and not with you or talking to you or interacting with you in any way, I did something....
I wouldnt mind you being cross with me if it were for a real reason, or even if you'd just tell me why u are. It's the fact that you wont tell me, so clearly its a shit reason, or someone *cough* Alex *cough* has been telling you something about me....#

ARGH, FUCKING HELL TIM, I FUCKING HATE YOU RIGHT NOW. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK I CAN HAVE FUCKING DONE. I REALLY DONT. I MEAN, WHEN EXACTLY AM I MEANT TO HAVE DONE WHATEVER IT IS I HAVE DONE. I MEAN, PLEASE, TELL ME, IM CONFUSED.



As if I dont have enough to deal with without you acting like a 2 year old
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.


If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...

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toXic
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Post by toXic » Sat Dec 17, 2005 9:30 pm

Mandi- i still want my stuff back please :D

Andra- i had a great time last night.. sure we just met, but it's been a long time since i've gotten along so well with someone. i hope someday we're something more than just friends.

Travis Barker- if you're reading this, i want drum lessons!!!

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Post by Kaelyn » Sun Dec 18, 2005 8:43 pm

R - are you getting fed up with me? I sense some kind of change between us.
Or did you find my place here on BUS. I sure hope not. But if you did, why did you read it? :(
I can't stop thinking that you are angry with me, or that there is something wrong, but you're not saying it.
my place (visitors welcome)
fall seven times, stand up eight

Hope blooms, even in the darkest of places

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paperbackwriter
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Post by paperbackwriter » Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:50 pm

--editted--
Last edited by paperbackwriter on Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

Chocoboko
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Post by Chocoboko » Mon Dec 19, 2005 3:46 am

(NOTE: I'm using general words that can sound like it's applied to everyone. It's not applied to anyone here. "All" is a term to describe a certain group of people in my life. Don't worry).

I hate you all! You are nothing more than bitter codependent housewives. You feel so low of yourselves that you play the role of "helper" to boost your own damned self-esteem. Stop boasting you care about me! I know you don't! You blatantly ignore what I am saying; you just rend unto me your scraps you call "help" (which I never even asked for, by the way).

You label me as different, huh? I'm "disabled". My whole perception of the world is screwed up and I need your "almighty guidance", huh? Let me tell you one thing about me: I'm not stupid! I saw how the real world didn't line up with your crap.

I don't feel an ounce of guilt for how I feel! I am a human being. I am capable of thinking and acting on my own accord. I am not delusional, as you claim!

Don't EVER try to control my life!

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Mon Dec 19, 2005 4:19 am

Les & Cheryl--Fuck off! I don't want you're fucking sympathy or advice or anything. You two treat me like im a worthless piece of shit most of the time so stop fucking pretending to care and leave me alone.

Jane--I think i have a crush on you :oops:

Kip--I think I fell in love with you...I miss you...please come back to me....

Ailsa--For fuck's sake stop being so fucking melodramatic. Just because Megan, and Chris and Me have our own lives now and can't take care of you all the time is not our fault. Stop fucking criticising the way I live my life, stop criticising the fact that I'm choosing to enjoy university life as well as study. Stop inferring that the fact that I choose to go out to clubs and drink makes me a bad person, or a lesser person. Just because you don't like those things doesn't mean it makes me inferior. Stop threatening to do things to get my attention and then biting my head off the minute I try to be logical and help you figure out a solution. It's not fair! Either let me help or shut up.

Mother--Stop treating me like a child. I'm old enough to take care of myself. You've already taken my childhood and most of my teens away from me, stop trying to take this too. You can't expect me to suddenly love you like some kid on a Hallmark show. It doesn't work that way so just let it be.

Darren--I think I'm starting to fall for you, but I'm not sure that you're not just using me. I want to trust you. I want to let go of control for once and let myself really feel for you, but it's hard. Please don't rush me. I want you like you want me, but I want more than that and I think you do too. But I need some time. Please understand.

All my flatmates--You don't understand. You can't expect me to tell you my problems when I barely know you. Even when I'm with you all I feel so alone, so isolated. That's why I hide from you. Because I feel as though you don't want me here and as though my presence when I'm not doing so good hurts you.

Bryn-- You fucking bastard. You hurt me. In effect you raped me too....You fucking BASTARD. I hate you. I hate you even more because you affect me everytime I see you. I wish I'd never met you.

Zoe--Why do you hate me so much? What have I ever done to you?

Caiohme--Why aren't you eating properly? I worry about you.

Dom--I FUCKING HATE YOU. YOU ARE A FUCKING TWAT. YOU RUINED MY LIFE YOU BASTARD. BECAUSE OF YOU I'VE NEVER HAD A POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP.BECAUSE OF YOU I ASSUME EVERY MAN IS JUST USING ME LIKE YOU. I HATE YOU

Phil--Why? That's all I want to know. Why? Why me? Why rape and harass me?

Myself--Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you trying to convince everyone that you're just some cheap whore? Why are you doing exactly what Dom did to you to yourself? Have you really sunk so low?

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flipflopfetish
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Post by flipflopfetish » Tue Dec 27, 2005 12:17 am

I don't know why I put up with you anymore. All you care about is yourself, but you manage to make me feel like seven kinds of fucking shit every time I talk to you. I know you have problems, but can't you fucking see that I have problems too? You make me feel inadequate because I'm not flamboyantly gay and don't have a girlfriend. That time you wasted all of the time we were hanging out, and we don't see each other very fucking often, talking with your fucking gf! And that comment about your hair. It's my fault, I should have realized you don't care shit for what I think. And when we have the same interests, you are a fucking expert on making it seem like I fucking copied them from you! And by the way, you aren't original and unique. There are plenty of people who play the violin, like Japanese, and are in the gsa at their school who aren't you!

and to my parents, I HATE you. I am a person, I have feelings, and I don't like being made fun of! I don't like being yelled at and pushed around and being guilt-jerked into doing things! And I hate how you make every complaint I have with you seem stupid and lame when I know that they aren't because you are the fucking reason I fucking cut my arms up every fucking night! You are overprotective but at the same time you act like I am a fucking chore for you and you don't deserve having me to deal with. Please stop making me feel so messed up.

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Skyeler
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Post by Skyeler » Tue Dec 27, 2005 5:26 am

You remember the hot blond girl at school? The one who'd leave after lunch? The one who'd never go try out for cheerleading, the one you could never score. The one you wrote crap about in the locker room. The one all your girlfriends hated?

Yeah, well she's mine now, you pathetic bastards. I'm marrying the home comming queen, you're not.

I know I've let go of all of that high school shit, but this I just had to brag about.


Most of the time I feel like I don't belong.
But I got my new favorite record today.
My favorites change every single day.
Except you,
You'll always be number one.
[/center]

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red umbrellas
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Post by red umbrellas » Wed Dec 28, 2005 4:52 pm

d and a: you selfish little twats. show some fucking respect. do something to help. you are the most unfriendly, lazy and dowright rude brats i have eevr come across. act your fucking ages.

s: it's not becoming for you to try and be something you're not. in fact, you're looking fucking stupid, and i'm not sure if i want to know you anymore. you're not who i used to know...sure, you were always a little this way...but your head's gone so far up your rear end now that i'm starting to wonder if i'll ever see you again.

g: i. love. you. so. fucking. much. i wish i could tell you how much. i wish you had the words to tell me if you love me...if you really do. that scares me...that maybe i love you more. guess i just wish i could read your mind.

m and d: i miss you so so much. wish you weren't so many thousand miles away. i love you.

a: i wish so much i could be there for you right now hun. i love you and miss you lots, and wish i could make all this crap go away, because you don't deserve it. i am so angry at j for what he's done. and i wish that l could see you for who you are alnd love you for it, because i know it's what you want and need. hang in there sweetie.
It's all life and fire and lunacy
And excuses and excuses and excuses

Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella

Windswept Thumb
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Post by Windswept Thumb » Wed Dec 28, 2005 10:54 pm

mom - I NEVER want to hear the story about dad not wanting to pick out a girl's name, because I was supposed to be a son! Unless you haven't noticed I'm not male! You can't control me any more! Get out of my face and stop trying to fatten me up. I am NOT anorexic! You fucked up with us and you need to face it! By the way, I'm a cutter!

Matt - I love you and need you in my life. You make we want to be a better person. Don't walk away from my life; you are my inspiration to stop cutting. I miss the way you used to smile at me and our long talks. I understand that you are young and aren't ready for this, but I am, and sometimes you need to take that step off the cliff. I'm scared too, but I know that I could open up to you if you would let me.

Kristi - I'm sorry I was a terrible big sister. I hope you know how much I care about you.

Eric - Thank you for being there for me all those times. I wish you peace and happiness in your life.

Nolan - I'm sorry that I got angry. I wasn't really angry with you; you just appeared in my life at a bad time. I thought that I was able to handle the situation, but in hindsight I really wasn't ready. Please forgive me.

Shawn - May your soul rest in peace from now on.
For I am nothing more than a ghost and a shadow upon this earth. - Me

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Reisu
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Post by Reisu » Wed Dec 28, 2005 11:20 pm

remember when you were in your drama queen phase and said that i cared more about talking to qua corti and sliv than to you? well... yeah. its true. you hurt me so much. i dream about the day when i will stand up to you and smack you round your stupid face, you horrible nasty deciving little bitch. and if you decide that you have a problem with me talking to them ever again, i hope i will tell you to go and fuck yourself.

because its 'not your problem', is it?
(◡‿◡✿)
"I'M A DISGUSTING WORTHLESS BILGESACK ON THE GARGANTUAN TEAT OF A LABORING, LEPROUS MUSCLEBEAST. MY SELF ESTEEM IS SO SMALL, ITS EXISTENCE IS A MATTER OF CONJECTURE AMONG THEORETICAL PHYSICISTS. THE ODOR MY BODY MAKES HAS MADE POETS CRY. I UNFAIRLY PULVERIZE THE COMPETITION IN ASSHOLE PAGEANTS, AND I HAVE RECEIVED A LIFETIME BAN FROM UGLY CONTESTS BY PRESIDENT SHITFACE HIMSELF. MY BLOOD IS NOT FIT TO FLOW THROUGH A SEWER, AND MY SIGN IS A PICTOGRAPHIC SYMBOL THAT LOOSELY TRANSLATES AS "PLEASE HIKE THESE PANTS UP TO THIS GUY'S ARMPITS, CHAIN HIM TO A FLOGGING JUT, AND MAKE A FUCKING EXAMPLE OUT OF THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT." WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR, MY REFLECTION SLOWLY SHAKES HIS HEAD WHILE I WET MYSELF IN SHAME."
(⊙‿⊙✿)

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enna
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Post by enna » Thu Dec 29, 2005 12:13 am

G - Well, she's not here, is she? She's dead and I'm not her and I'm coping as best I can and somehow I'm still a disappointment. So please FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF and try looking at what I've managed to do instead of what I've not.

D - Nobody's "filled my head with shit" about you. I know you. You're an awful dad. Sure, I'm old enough now to try to establish a relationship with you, but remember that you had ten years to do the same but decided not to. Maybe you should ask yourself why I should bother when you clearly couldn't.

J - It's true, I would like you to pay more attention to me. I'm struggling, but I'm too awkward and too aware that you have your own stuff to deal with to make a big deal about it. I'm sorry.
I'm tired of laughing and I'm tired of crying
Tired of failing and tired of all this trying
I want to do some living
Cause I've done enough dying
I just wanna dance
I just wanna f**king dance

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acdcrocker1909
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Post by acdcrocker1909 » Thu Dec 29, 2005 2:07 am

B- Thank you. And everything else I can think of that I want to say to you, I have at some point in time. You are one of the few people I can be completely open with.

P- I love you, and thank you. We need to talk again, but i dont know what to say yet.. I just know i need to talk to you.. and i'd love to do it in person.. so you can hug me tight.

F-^^ Same goes to you "papa"..

Ti- Friggin love you Ms. Ditzy Blonde.

S- Damn you to hell at the moment.. yes you are my friend.. but you are DESTROYING tatey, you want him to hate you because you think it'll fix everything.. you are trying to sicken him and push him away by cutting again and using the line " the more i love you, the more i cut".. Goddamnit you.. that will NEVER work... and another thing.. even though you are a senior that does not give you the right to call anyone in 10 or lower a "kid" .. and then be a bitch about it all.. Telling me i think i'm so goddamned smart because I have an answer for everything and that i'm book smart.. BULLSHIT.. okay.. I didnt have to deal with what you did for a stepfather, but by god, the emotional abuse i've been through with my parentals.. and i mean both of them, has forced me to grow up before i should have and damn you, you cannot say SHIT on that.. I dont want to get into a "whos had the worst childhood" arguement with you, but damnit.. dont think you've had the worst.. i know mine wasnt the worst, but it's hurt me enough.. So you can't bitch about me being a "kid".. you never thought like this till this morning when you woke up and was 18.. what the fuck happened?! now that youre an "adult" i'm below you? Until you can figure out what the fuck is in your head.. just chill out okay? You're already setting me off, and what youre doing to Tate is pissing me off.

T- Don't listen to S.. Its not your fault.. none of it is.. shes trying to manipulate you.. and thats shit.. you know how you feel. and you know i'm here.

E - I just hope you will be the one to read past my walls.. and see what i really mean..

M- just fuck you.. im tired of your bullshit

D- Fuck you too.. I thought we were on better terms.. looks like that was a lie.


:bluestar:
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

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