Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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jup0se1
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Post by jup0se1 » Fri Dec 23, 2005 11:32 am

- PMs fine -

:star: I keep pushing people away...
:star: I'm giving up on life...
:star: I hate that I love her...
:star: I don't know how to begin feeling better...

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candiperfumegirl
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Post by candiperfumegirl » Fri Dec 23, 2005 6:40 pm

replies fine

I keep telling him its fine he didn't get me an engagment ring for christmas after all. this is the first time i've lied to him.

I tell him its okay and it will be as soon as I can stop crying
smitty werbenmanjensen, It was his hat mr.krabs! He was number one!

I'll meet you by the third pyramid

i want white roses painted red


mentalworldhaven.com come on over!!!!!

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marshmallowfluff
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Post by marshmallowfluff » Fri Dec 23, 2005 7:03 pm

:star: I hate you so much...
:star: i had the urge to ******, but i didnt... and im glad i didnt. i have thoughts about doing it all the time and the amount of times i nearly have... :( my head feels fucked

pms are fine
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"Dance like no one's watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like there's nobody listening.
And live like it's heaven on earth."

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Reisu
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Post by Reisu » Mon Dec 26, 2005 8:07 pm

SU
i have promised myself that even though i have improved, if i continue to feel bad in january i will su. but i know that i wont.

I sometimes find myself planning on how i would attempt SU but not die from it; then i realise that that is defeating the object.


/SU

i listen to clannad when no one else can hear
i want to be able to tell someone everything, but i dont want to have to say it.
i wish i had an excuse
(◡‿◡✿)
"I'M A DISGUSTING WORTHLESS BILGESACK ON THE GARGANTUAN TEAT OF A LABORING, LEPROUS MUSCLEBEAST. MY SELF ESTEEM IS SO SMALL, ITS EXISTENCE IS A MATTER OF CONJECTURE AMONG THEORETICAL PHYSICISTS. THE ODOR MY BODY MAKES HAS MADE POETS CRY. I UNFAIRLY PULVERIZE THE COMPETITION IN ASSHOLE PAGEANTS, AND I HAVE RECEIVED A LIFETIME BAN FROM UGLY CONTESTS BY PRESIDENT SHITFACE HIMSELF. MY BLOOD IS NOT FIT TO FLOW THROUGH A SEWER, AND MY SIGN IS A PICTOGRAPHIC SYMBOL THAT LOOSELY TRANSLATES AS "PLEASE HIKE THESE PANTS UP TO THIS GUY'S ARMPITS, CHAIN HIM TO A FLOGGING JUT, AND MAKE A FUCKING EXAMPLE OUT OF THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT." WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR, MY REFLECTION SLOWLY SHAKES HIS HEAD WHILE I WET MYSELF IN SHAME."
(⊙‿⊙✿)

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sweetyesterdays
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Post by sweetyesterdays » Tue Dec 27, 2005 4:26 am

pms are fine i think...

-i hate everything about myself
-when people say "i care about you." or "i really want you to get better" or anything like that, it makes me so angry that i want to hit them.
-i lied to my doctore about how much medication i took everyday so he wouldnt put me in rehab. and the withdrawl i went through messed up my heart and brain. and i still feel it today. (a year later.)
-i lied to the man at daytop. i told him i had only done heroin a couple of times. i had done it a lot more times. he couldnt know i was addicted.
-i want to do more drugs.
-i hate complements.
-i am a very angry, hateful person. and i lie a lot. too much...

-i want someone to save me.
-writing all this down makes me kinda sad...
"i smoke & i drink
& every time i blink i have a tiny dream
but as bad as i am
i'm proud of the fact
that i'm worse than i seem.
what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i've got everything i want and still i want more..."




one.

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Skyeler
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Post by Skyeler » Tue Dec 27, 2005 5:18 am

I don't really want to be a dad.
but
I want her to be a mom.


Most of the time I feel like I don't belong.
But I got my new favorite record today.
My favorites change every single day.
Except you,
You'll always be number one.
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Post by Sky » Tue Dec 27, 2005 5:25 am

this is kind of a happy one.

After waiting by the phone for so long, after checking my email anxiously and feeling depressed when you didn't write me, after missing you for so long I realized something:

Allen, I don't love you anymore.

I don't fucking love you anymore.

And it feels amazing!

I still care about you, and I'll never forget you, but I don't love you anymore!

I used to wonder whether I could live without you...

Thank you so much for letting me realize that I can.
love me...

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balletomane
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Post by balletomane » Tue Dec 27, 2005 7:57 am

I have never felt so empty.

I have never felt so alone.

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candiperfumegirl
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Post by candiperfumegirl » Tue Dec 27, 2005 6:37 pm

PMs fine

pretty soon I'm afraid I won't know who I am anymore I'll be what they want me to be
smitty werbenmanjensen, It was his hat mr.krabs! He was number one!

I'll meet you by the third pyramid

i want white roses painted red


mentalworldhaven.com come on over!!!!!

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red umbrellas
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Post by red umbrellas » Wed Dec 28, 2005 4:56 pm

i'm afraid of being happy. if you love me, you're sure to let me go. it just takes time for you to realise who i am. i'm not good enough for you. but i want to be. i don't want to lose you. i wish i was a better person.
It's all life and fire and lunacy
And excuses and excuses and excuses

Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella

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Post by acdcrocker1909 » Wed Dec 28, 2005 6:15 pm

:bluestar: pm's fine :bluestar:


:bluestar:I watched the "Dirty Little Secret" music video.. and I connected with more than 4 of the secrets.

:bluestar:I think I am afraid to be happy, because when one gets to happy, something bad happens.

:bluestar:I want someone to catch me when I fall

:bluestar:I want to punch people when they look at me and for some reason send fake pity my way, like they *know* whats in my head.

:bluestar:I dont want to flat out say I'm not okay, but I really wish someone would look at me and notice something is off
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

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Beasty
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Post by Beasty » Thu Dec 29, 2005 7:42 pm

If you asked me to marry you, I would. If you asked me to sleep with you, I wouldn't have any second thoughts.

There is a guy I've met online and I think he is go gorgeous. If he tried to kiss me, I wouldn't stop him. But I prefer you.

I've kissed my best friend. She's a girl and I'm a girl. Open mouth. I would french her. Only because I love to kiss. Call it a fix because you aren't there.

She knows and I know. You and I have loved each other in every past life in some way. We're destiny, persay. Call it a dream realization.

I cut when you weren't looking, but I won't again.
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

Beasty's Place!

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acdcrocker1909
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Post by acdcrocker1909 » Fri Dec 30, 2005 2:56 pm

i am afraid that if i get help, i will be "fixed", and nobody would pay be a 2nd glance
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

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glass angel
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Post by glass angel » Fri Dec 30, 2005 4:34 pm

I sometimes find myself planning on how i would attempt SU but not die from it; then i realise that that is defeating the object.
me too :(
"He loves you. You have so much."
"I know, and I see it all around me, but it stops at my skin. I can't let it inside. It's always been like that and it's always gonna be like that."
~Shortbus

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candiperfumegirl
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Post by candiperfumegirl » Sat Dec 31, 2005 8:03 am

glass angel wrote:
I sometimes find myself planning on how i would attempt SU but not die from it; then i realise that that is defeating the object.
me too :(
I know that feeling too
smitty werbenmanjensen, It was his hat mr.krabs! He was number one!

I'll meet you by the third pyramid

i want white roses painted red


mentalworldhaven.com come on over!!!!!

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BringMeToLife
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Post by BringMeToLife » Sun Jan 01, 2006 2:26 pm

Great site!

I made it all up, now I can't remember which bits were lies and which bits were truth.

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jaded melody
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Post by jaded melody » Tue Jan 03, 2006 1:52 am

  • I dont want to tell my a doctor about my ED issues because I know she wouldnt take me seriously... im too fat to be anorexic...
  • I dont want to tell my T about my ED issues because I know she WOULD take me seriously... but i dont want to get better... im too fat to get better.
  • I want to be so thin that people are scared for me... but that makes me feel like an attention-seeker.
  • I hate everything about myself... and I know i dont deserve to have the friends i do... even though they hurt me... and i dont deserve help...
  • I want to steal my best friends life... she is everything i want to be... stylish, cool, popular with her friends, with an awesome social life and a reeally great personality.
  • I used to be a straight A student.... now I get on average Bs and i feel like a failure. I feel stupid.
PMs are fine.[/size]
"Between two worlds life hovers like a star,
twixt night and morn, upon the horizon's verge."
- Lord Byron

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Aly
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Post by Aly » Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:57 pm

PM's would be nice....

-I dress sluttily to get people to notice me, and when they dont....I get cross...
-I go on webcam and practically totally strip so that Ill get people's attention and to make guys want me...
-I flirt with loads of guys other than T when he's around to try and make him jealous
-I wish I had been SA'd, I wish I has an ED even though I know these things would get me further away form my goal: being happy, I still feel as if they would solve stuff....logically I know this is bull...
-I dont tell anyone Im bi, because Im scared a friend of mine will think Im "copying" her...
-I kind of like it when he touches me like that, even though it also disgusts me...
-I sometimes wish a whole lot of them would disappear
-I want to go into a coma, so I wont have to deal with life, but wont be dead. Id like for there to be camera's everywhere so I could see how everyone would react to me being in a really critical condition with the possibility thatI might die...
-I exagerrate the truth all the time to what I wish had happened, I make it sound worse, because I wish it had been....
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.


If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...

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Priceless
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Post by Priceless » Wed Jan 04, 2006 12:02 am

comments on pm welcomed
*sa/si/od/trigs*

  1. It was my own fault i got saed by the first guy
  2. Ive should not had been drinking when i was at home with a friend and her uncle raped me all night, it was my own fault, and he kept talking that i should be his kids stepmom, and he was grose
  3. i wanna cut of my breasts
  4. im scared of getting better
  5. im scared of telling anybody about the sa, because im affraid that they tell me its my fault
  6. i HATE the sound of people wistleling.........it makes me so angry and i want to explode, i dont know why?
  7. i have no impulse control at all, well with most things
  8. i dream of saving the world, i just dont know how
  9. when i was a little girl, i dreamed that i had been swithed out with another baby at the hospital, and that my real parents would come and save me
  10. i hate that im so fat
  11. im still in love with rp

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Watch your words; they become actions.
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Watch your habits; they become character.
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theboldeditalics
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Post by theboldeditalics » Wed Jan 04, 2006 3:07 am

Reply via PM, please


I hook up with guys to make me feel better about myself. My sister and I took a secret trip to Virginia and met this guy and we made out all new years eve, new years morning, and we were sort of close to having sex, which is something i'm TOTALLY against. I want to be a virgin till marraige, but sometimes I think I can't even follow my own rules because I'm such a goddamned attention seeker.


whatever.
lately i've been feeling
like i don't belong
like the ground's not mine to walk upon

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