urges will most likely be the better of me (again)

[GE2004]

Ive been finding it harder and harder to cope with the urges recently. I am doing my usual to try an get over it but it is always the same and always ends the same. I dont know how much longer i am going to last. Not even wearing an elastic band seems to do anything now. Instead the relief is drowned in the need for more. Im guessing 2 or 3 more days before i go crazy like usual and end up cutting half my thigh up in a frenzy. On the plus side i will be happy again for another month or so until the withdrawal cathces up. The damn circle is sooo hard to get out of. The one good thing is tht it im getting better an the circles seem to be lengthening, however this is shortly ruined by the amount i need to SI to get the relief.

i dunno why i am even posting this. Maybe to rant but i doubt it. ranting is to release anger. Im too depressed to rele rant. i dunno anymore!

[tabzy]

ahhhh i SO understand!!!
i was in a similar situation, the urges were incredibly bad..unfortun8ly.. i gave in at d weekend ..n altho the cuts r (in my eyes) just "minor"... they stil count towards self harm... which i thought i had goten rid of...
obviously not..
*sy*
ranting is just the best
hope u survive the urges!!