Things Left Unsaid *LA*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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art-girl
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Post by art-girl » Wed Nov 23, 2005 3:20 pm

G: i still fancy the arse off you and even though im really glad that we're still friends and can talk for ages, i still keep looking at you and wanting to kiss you or climb into your arms and feel you next to me again. infact, im kinda hoping that once you've got over the stuff youre going through you'll want to try being more than friends again.... after all, being in a relationship when youre so fresh out of the last one was never a good idea... but if you were more yourself, maybe it would be better? thakns for not freaking out when you walked in on my cutting the other night and thanks for sitting and talking to me for so long and coming to check on me yesterday too. i know i can rely on you now and you can rely on me too. and your arse is great btw :) xxxx

everyone on the board: you will hear a lot about this guy^^^ probably. i do apologise but i like him a lot a lot a lot and we only broke up on monday. plus, living with him as i do, its kinda hard to forget about him....
"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time."
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pretty
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Post by pretty » Wed Nov 23, 2005 6:02 pm

fr: I always felt safe there, but whatever. Just forget it. I don't understand why I wasn't allowed to answer you, but whatever. I feel stupid and invalidated now. Way to go.
'this is what she says gets her through it,
"if I don't let myself be happy now, then when?"' - jimmy eat world

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Post by pretty » Wed Nov 23, 2005 6:18 pm

Am: You don't know me. How dare you imply this has been easy for me. How dare you diminish the past three years of my life, the bloody, messy, nightmare of a fight I've made to get here, how hard I've worked, to one fucking sentence? How dare you say that I did one thing and life suddenly got easy for me? Especially when that one thing isn't even true. I remember why I don't like you anymore. You were right about one thing though. We're different. I'm not a fucking drama queen. You really need to wake up.

An: Ditch him already. He's a sponging shit bag. Things are never gonna get better. It'll always be like this, and you deserve so much more. He's a waste of space and he <i>will</i> ruin your life.
'this is what she says gets her through it,
"if I don't let myself be happy now, then when?"' - jimmy eat world

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beautifulgarbage
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Post by beautifulgarbage » Thu Nov 24, 2005 7:15 pm

G.: You're gutless.
Certain things turn ugly when you think too hard,
And nagging little thoughts change into things you can't turn off.

[Garbage]

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Forget Me
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Post by Forget Me » Sun Nov 27, 2005 9:18 am

thats right. go out with her. be with her. and then break up. and then be with someone else. and so on and so forth until you go back home, and then you'll forget abut me forever. its fair enough, i suppose. i dont see why you would ever want to be with me. but hey, a girl can dream right? i wish i couls forget about you like you will forget about me. im sure i will at some point. but until then im stuck with you in my head. maybe i should stop texting you like i do. or maybe i should stop coming to your house. maybe i should stop staring at you and wishing i was her. maybe i should stop wishing that she would move out of your room and just go away, cos then i might have a chance. because i know that when she does go away i'll just make a fool of myself. fuckit. but no matter wha i say, right now all i want to do is walk up to your house, lay down in your bed and fall asleep in your arms.
<center>
<b>FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?!</b>
~"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."~
:o :o :o
Another Lonely Day
~~Laura~~
</center>

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Manny
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Post by Manny » Sun Nov 27, 2005 9:48 am

CM: You used to be my best friend. But now, I don't know who the hell you are. Stop pretending to be something your not and acting like you're better than me. You purposely try to make me feel like shit. You think you're just the greatest thing God ever put on this earth. Well, you're not! You have no idea what I have to go through every day.

AM: I wish I could get to know you better.

Mommy: I'm sorry for everything I ever said that hurt you. I never want to hurt you. I love you more than you'll ever know. Don't worry about me. I'll turn out all right.
long sleeved shirts;
bracelets cover wrists;
no one can know the truth behind this...

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Aly
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Post by Aly » Wed Nov 30, 2005 8:49 pm

Ollie: The more you touch me, and the more you're sweet to me, the more I fall for you, even though you are so far out of my league it's unreal, even though I dont know, even though I find you annoying. Please stop. Or carry on and make this go somewhere...

Ehren: You know, I dont feel very much for you anymore. You were really incredibly rude to me on saturday, you and all your mates. I can see that you've been using me, I wont let you carry on doing that. Either talk to me often or dont talk to me at all. Dont use me for when ur other friends arent talking to you, Im not playing that game anymore.
The amazing thing is, Im not hurt or upset....Im just slightly offended by your rudeness, and finally opening my eyes. Alex was wrong, you're not a nice guy, you're a user, and.....you mean next to nothing to me. I hope thats not too much....

Tim: You're a darling, I love you. Let me become you're friend properly, spend time with me, please? Even though....despite our history, please?

Gi, Rach and Hol: I love you guys, you're awesome.
Ross: I might be falling for you
JJ and Arran: You guys piss me off, get the fuck outa my Life. JJ -- you're a dick, and you really irritate me. It wouldnt bother me if I never spoke to you again in my life. It wouldnt at all.
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.


If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...

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Aly
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Post by Aly » Wed Nov 30, 2005 8:52 pm

Dble Posted
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.


If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...

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magebaby
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Post by magebaby » Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:15 am

please?

--
mage
"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." -- Vincent Van Gogh

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela

No hugs, thanks

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acdcrocker1909
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Post by acdcrocker1909 » Fri Dec 09, 2005 3:07 pm

My "Teddybear" - You've been there for me for over a year, and I cannot that you enough. You were there the nights at like 12, that I didn't know what the hell I was doing or what could have happened. You yelled at me in all the right places, and calmly talked the rest of the time. I'm sorry I have worried you at times, but thanks to you, hopefully I won't be doing that anymore.. You know I'm happier now, and I can make it past one day without any urges to hurt myself. You have always been so understanding, and that means the world seeing as you were the first person I had ever told about my si.. You didn't freak or push me away, infact you've helped me the most.. And I am forever indebted to you. I friggin' love you for that.

My "Mama" - You are the one who has shown me what love within a family is.. you might not be my actual mom, but hell you've been around me since I started playing summer league softball.. You hug me when I need it and you constantly tell me that you love me, and i get such a warm feeling from it that its not funny.. I love you more than words can express.

My "Papa" - You preach to me and hug me when I feel vulerable.. I love you just as much.

My "Ditzy Sis" - Okay, youre not my sister, but damnit we might as well be. three years on the same softball team, and the fact you're a ditzy blonde.. well that in itself is one reason i love you so much.. you make me laugh when i forget how to, and you are always so positve, i think it's rubbed off on me.. so :tongue: just for you, and know that i love you.

Vogy - Mr. Ron Burgundy you are funny and I love you.. plain and simple like that..

Jenn - it'll take awhile, but i miss talking to you.

"I'm Goddess at Flute" whore - FUCK YOU. You suck, and are a fucking drug addict whore who puts the entire world below yourself.

Female Parental - Fuck You too.. you want me to be something i'm not and i'm fucking tired of you.. three more damned years and im gone

Male Parental - You're better than the other parental.. but you have your days too.. you let me bitch about her and you agree, but when she bitches... you take her side and leave me hanging.. damn you.

To those that piss off every damn day just to piss me off - Fuck You All, I can't wait for the day you're taking my order at McDonalds.


.. I feel better now..
Dani
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

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Post by angelwithapintglass » Sat Dec 10, 2005 11:43 pm

i've been looking for this thread for days!
anyway.. here goes..

L #1
quite simply, i hate that you feel you have one over on me. i hate that you feel prettier, sexier, and more attractive than me. i hate that you think you own him. i hate that you think you can control me. i hate that look you give me when you try to exercise your "power" over me.
basically: fuck off thinking you're better, because quite plainly, you're not. it will always be possible that they want me, too. it will always be true that i am also GORGEOUS, thankyouverymuch.

L #2
so maybe i like you, maybe i dont. i liked how our fingers were intertwined and you held me around my waist and.. i felt okay with it.. its not that i want to be with you. or maybe i do. maybe i just want a thing. i felt wanted, though, and that's what L made me feel like i wasnt.
the dream i had of you wasnt rude, but it was.. interesting. i felt like i was yours but there were problems.
and...
to be honest, i have no idea what to say to you, even when you're not listening.

x

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jup0se1
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Post by jup0se1 » Sun Dec 11, 2005 2:41 am

*Crying new person*

K - I'm sorry. I know you only try to help me and I'm sorry for being so difficult. Don't leave me alone, sister. I don't know if I could stand losing you too...

M - I love and miss you so much. I don't know what to do or where to go. I want to make you proud of me but I'm too devasted to accomplish anything. I hope you're in a better place.

D - Can we just try to get on?

W - You've hurt me so badly. For such a self-centered you surely pick your moments to focus on me, and in the shittest way possible. I want to hate you but I can't. I'd wish you bad things but it hurts to consider it. I don't want you to feel pain, but at least you'd know how it felt...

P - Try to pick one girl...

A - You need to make time for people.

H - I love you. It aches to think I've ever hurt you and I would do anything to change that. I just want you to be happy, regardless of who with.

G - I could do with a chat.

Everyone - Yeah, I'm not okay.

Myself - Stop it...

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Forget Me
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Post by Forget Me » Sun Dec 11, 2005 6:13 am

i suppose i am a bit of a blender, really, but i really like you guys... and you dont seemt o mind me.... i'd like to come up to yours more often.... my house is boring.
<center>
<b>FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?!</b>
~"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."~
:o :o :o
Another Lonely Day
~~Laura~~
</center>

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Post by Guest » Sun Dec 11, 2005 1:30 pm

M - that was slightly uncalled for i think.

R - thank you for yesterday.

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beautifulgarbage
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Post by beautifulgarbage » Tue Dec 13, 2005 5:16 am

F.: Why can't I give up? I'm not in love, I can't even feel love anymore... What the hell is love supposed to mean anyways?! Why do you always come back at me like an addict... every 2-3 months. What the hell is going on with US? Why can't we stay away from each other. Fuck fuck fuck.
Certain things turn ugly when you think too hard,
And nagging little thoughts change into things you can't turn off.

[Garbage]

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jup0se1
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Post by jup0se1 » Tue Dec 13, 2005 4:25 pm

Ph - I'm sorry.

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Aly
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Post by Aly » Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:11 pm

Tim -- I know I sound like a bitch, and indecisive....I know I sound selfish...but....honey...I just, whenever I see you, I kick myself for ever dumping you in the first place. And then I kick myself even harder for saying "no" not that long ago....I just....it's not just an 'it's winter and I need someone, anyone" it really is, truthfully 'it's anytime and I need you'. And...Im scared that I cant have you...
Yesterday, you were just....you were lovely. It was such a tough day, but you really did make it better, you were so adorable, and...Man, it made me cry more because, you were being so lovely when you didnt have to be. And...oh honey, I miss you. I do. Everything with you just felt right. Just....I regret so much for breaking up with you because of *****. When I knew nothing could happen. Within like, a few weeks I regretted doing it. ***** was (is?) a twat...and had fun leading me on....
But....honey, I only did it because I didnt want to be unfair on you...
And then, at the panto...like...it felt so right, and everything. But I couldn’t get Ehren out of my head. Like, I was infatuated with him. And then that all went wrong, but that’s not the point. The point is, I said no because...it didnt feel fair to you...honey, I have never wanted to hurt you, and yet, I know I have. Twice....And thats why I think that you wont give me another chance....

I’m not sure I want you to know...Honey, Im scared that...maybe you have listened to what Ive said and just want to be my friend now...and, I did want that for so long. Actually, no, I didnt, you annoyed me for ages, because you tried to annoy me, like...you made that your purpose...and now you're not....well, when you first stopped I was like, yes, we can be friends now....but then, you stopped, and I remembered why I went out with you in the first place, and why I kissed you...because...when you're not trying to irritate me, you're lovely and sweet and wonderful....

I remember, when we were going out in the summer....how, you'd put your hands on my waist underneath my blazer, or how you'd come up behind me, and hug me and kiss my head. How you’d kiss me, and how right it felt. How you'd put your arms around me and then walk along. I remember how Id put my hands up your sleeves because...I love your arms...and...oh, you were just always so lovely, coming to see me and stuff...and....I miss it. I miss it all. I miss doing all that stuff. I miss talking to you properly, and spending loads of time with you...

I wear that necklace you brought me all the time, and, I always play with it, and it reminds me of you, and how you used to be. And how you called me on my birthday from that concert and the medics to sang happy birthday....I just.....oh honey, I want it back....because...I just...with you honey, I did feel safe, and secure. And I didnt feel the need to be fake around you. I felt like I could be the real me, and, I didnt need to put on a happy face, because....you made me happy. And now, after yesterday, I know that you'd be there even if I wasnt happy...and that....it would help. It really honestly would...
I dont know if Id tell you about my si straight away. I dont know if I ever would bring it up. But...if it became an issue again, I just....I feel like I could tell you if I wanted. And obviously, if we went out again and it became an issue, then you would know...but...I just get the impression that you wouldnt freak out....like....oh I dont know baby, I just....I miss you, and I really do want you back...and...I hate that, I probably cant have you back....

~~~~~~
My favourite memory of us together is on Sports day in July...
It was such a lovely day, really warm and stuff...and at the beginning I was sitting with my tutor group....but then that got boring and the sun was getting too hot (I was scared I was gunna burn! lol) so a whole group of us moved to under a big tree on the edge of our school field. And you came over and joined us....And it was lovely. Like we were sitting (Well, I was lying) in a big group of people, but we were just talking to each other. I was flat on the ground, and you were kinda leant back on one arm, kind of stretched out, and you kept leaning over to kiss me and....**happy sigh** it was so lovely....And then it started raining like, at the beginning of last period. Like, really chucking it down. So we all ran to the cover we could find. And then, we were gunna bunk off last lesson, but...Miss May came out and told me I had to go into the lesson...and you and I were soaking, and you was just holding me while my teacher was telling me I had to go to lessons, and then ahh, it was lovely. You was so sweet...ahh man, I miss that so much. That day was like, perfect....and....**sigh** like I said, that is my favourite memory of us together...apart from maybe on my birthday when you were at a concert. But you called me (whilst I was still in bed I may add! lol) and I called you back a little later, and when you answered and you were in the medic tent, and you wished me happy birthday, and then all the medics started singing happy birthday. And I spent ages talking to you on the phone! It was lovely. And then on the monday, when I saw you in the morning with a load of my friends. And I went to leave with them, but you grabbed my hand, and gave me my birthday present...and it's gorgeous.

Jeez, I miss you so much. I really do...I dont know, I might just tell you, what have I really got to lose?...I just....I want that all back. You’re so lovely, and...I really do miss you and....**sigh**

~~~~~~~

I’m sorry baby, for everything. I am…I wish I could take it all back. Take back breaking up with you…
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.


If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...

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Aly
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Post by Aly » Wed Dec 14, 2005 11:10 pm

I just want you to understand? Is that so hard? Is it really so damn fucking hard for you to understand?

Im not asking for you to make it better or whatever, or give me sympathy, just to understand!

Im the best friend I can be to all of you, and yet, it always feels like you're putting me behind everyone else. I care so DAMN much, and yet, you care only a fraction of how much I do....

And I try to be a better and better friend to you all, cus I think "Maybe Im just not being a good enough friend" and it just makes it worse....it makes me feel even less appreciated. I feel like disappearing for a few days....or just ignoring you all.....putting you in the same position I'm in 24/7....

Sometimes I hate you all....
Sometimes I si just to hurt you....
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.


If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...

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acdcrocker1909
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Post by acdcrocker1909 » Thu Dec 15, 2005 4:36 am

S- You fucking whore.. i hate you.. you suck.. you need not fucking put me down all the time.. i know you get your kicks that way.. but just go to hell.

R- I love you.. yet I dont know how to tell you..

T- I friggin' love you! <-- thanks for the "anchorman" moments they make me laugh.

V- You are the best.. I can't thank you enough.


"Mama and Papa" - Thank you.. you've shown me how loving parents act.. and you love me like one of your own.. and I thank you.. and i love you too.


To the assholes in my school -screw you all, you're too stupid to really become what you say.. you'll work some deadend job, because you're an asshole and you dont give a damn about school or anything connected with school.. so just screw you.
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

Image

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flipflopfetish
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Post by flipflopfetish » Thu Dec 15, 2005 5:52 am

M, K, & S: the whore jokes at my expense are really getting old. Fuck off, why don't you?

M: You're not fucking fat, you bitch! Stop putting yourself down. I don't care if you are messed up and upset just like me, every single fucking time you insult yourself I want to punch your fucking face in and go SU.

Jessie: stop being such a fucking angel. Just because you've never said fuck ever and you don't cut class and you do all of your hw doesn't mean you're any better than me. But fuck that, I love you and you keep me grounded most of the time

Jaleh: thanks for being positive and nice and auditioning with me. I'll still be insanely jealous when you get a good part and I don't get in at all, but I'll get over it. You are one of the happiest people I know! Keep it up, sweetie!

O: I hate to say this, because you're my friend, but you're a fucking poser. Get a personality and stop being so damn tall!

E: You're wonderful, thank you so much. I know we aren't close at all, but you are one of the sweeest people ever. I can't even believe it! How can you be so nice? And then how can you hang out with someone who is such a bitch?

...that felt good...

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