How do you feel about your scars?

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

Post Reply
User avatar
Dylana
unpacking boxes
unpacking boxes
Posts: 50
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:05 am
Contact:

How do you feel about your scars?

Post by Dylana » Sun Nov 27, 2005 3:42 am

Are you ashamed of your scars? What do you say to people when they notice? If you have scars on places that are easy to hide, do you always hide them?

I am so ashamed of them. I am horrified when I look at myself. I don't know if I'll ever wear shorts or go swimming again... I hate this.

How do I get over this shame?
Becca

User avatar
Naiia
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 375
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2005 2:29 am
Contact:

Post by Naiia » Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:52 am

*Nods* It's hard, getting used to your scars. I was horribly ashamed for awhile, and I still am somewhat. I've gotten all brave and determined and put on a skirt before, only to realize that I couldn't do it, that I couldn't go out and be seen like that.

But I'm not nearly as ashamed as I used to be. It's a part of me, it's a part of who I am, and I can accept that now. I usually don't even mind that they're there. I don't like having to hide them all of the time, and it would often be inappropriate to show them, but it's just something that I have to deal with. I'm so used to it, it's almost become a non-issue.

As far as what to say when people ask, I don't know what I'd do, because surprisingly no one has ever asked me! I'd probably just shrug it off and say it was a long story. But there is a great list in the sourcebook that you should check out, if no other reason than simply because it's pretty amusing.

User avatar
Manny
one of us
one of us
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 4:21 am

Post by Manny » Sun Nov 27, 2005 9:20 am

I actually used to think my scars were beautiful. I loved how they looked on my skin. But then I think they're disgusting. I look at them and feel ashamed.

It can get hard for me to hide them. I don't have many long-sleeved shirts and when I start wearing the same shirts over and over again, I become paranoid. Thinking someone will get suspicious. I never wear shorts or skirts because of the scars on my legs. I'm fine with wearing pants all the time because I know that everyone just thinks I'm self-conscious about my weight and how I look in certain clothes.

Not many people have noticed except my brother and sister. My sister actually screamed once when she saw my arm. But she believed me when I told her they were cat scratches. My brother can be harsher about it, he actually believes I cut myself and will tease me about it, but will eventually forget about it. I know they know the truth. But they're too young to understand. My brother actually tried to convince my Mom that I cut myself, but I asked her to tell him to stop being stupid. She didn't think nothing of it.

I don't know if I'll ever get over being ashamed of myself.
Last edited by Manny on Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:12 am, edited 2 times in total.
long sleeved shirts;
bracelets cover wrists;
no one can know the truth behind this...

-Kel-
building community
building community
Posts: 539
Joined: Sun May 15, 2005 5:32 pm
Contact:

Post by -Kel- » Sun Nov 27, 2005 11:41 am

my scars are my story thats what i want to think, but i still hide them
---Kelly---

User avatar
morganna
part of the fixtures
part of the fixtures
Posts: 2465
Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2005 8:44 pm
Location: uk

Post by morganna » Sun Nov 27, 2005 1:53 pm

i love my scars but i hate other people seeing them so i hide them most of the time. i dont think anyone at work knows i si so i always wear long sleeves even when its very hot. on a personal level i think of them as part of me, they make my arms feel textured and i like stroking thekm. i guess i'm just afraid others will judge me for them or feel sorry for me

User avatar
AngelsTears
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 899
Joined: Sat Sep 03, 2005 7:16 am
Gender: Female
Location: Australia

Post by AngelsTears » Sun Nov 27, 2005 2:29 pm

thats a conplicated question
ive gone from loving them believing they were beautiful but also hiding them in shame to hating them but also realising they are a part of my and my past and being able to live with people seeing them
tho i do try to hide most of them im not afraid to allow a few to show
ive gotten stonger and my confidence is a lil higher i dont realli care what strangers think mostly just close friends and family because they care the mosst and i know itwill hurt them dearly
There's many things,
In life which i fear,
War, drugs, death.
But the one thing,
That i fear most,
Is to fear death no more,
For what now,
Will hold me back?

silverchair_chick
one of us
one of us
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2005 11:48 am
Location: nottingham uk

Post by silverchair_chick » Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:09 pm

i'm not ashamed of my scars but i do hide them mostly because i know it hurts my family and friends to see what i have done to myself

User avatar
pointeless
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 933
Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2005 6:19 pm
Location: Worthing, England
Contact:

Post by pointeless » Sun Nov 27, 2005 10:27 pm

i'm not ashamed of my scars. Oddly proud of them. Like justice served or something.
I hate how they hold me back in my career though... that's the only time I wish they wern't there.
<a href="http://www.freewebs.com/sjhemming/">Visit My Website</a>

http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=83255 - My poetry/Art Den

Image
With eternal gratefullness n thanks to pink elephant for the graphic x

User avatar
ComfortablyNumb
part of the fixtures
part of the fixtures
Posts: 2571
Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2003 1:16 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Post by ComfortablyNumb » Sun Nov 27, 2005 11:16 pm

I never ever want to be proud of my scars. I never want to be proud of the way I lived my life while I was getting them, and the ways that I was dealing with my pain. I never want to be proud of that, to me there is nothing to be proud of. However...I will accept them. They are there and I am the reason that they are there. I accept that and I've come to terms with it, but that's the only way I ever really want to feel about them anymore. It's pointless to me to be embarassed by them, because I don't want to be embarassed of desicions I had made. I think that that is embarassing.

:grystar:
<center> "You said I remind you of yourself tomorrow."
- Kurt Cobain

"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."
-Catcher in the Rye

Image

my place </center>

User avatar
disastercake
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 3342
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2005 1:12 am
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Post by disastercake » Mon Nov 28, 2005 3:59 am

Sometimes I hate my scars, and other times they're like old friends. Looking at them brings back memories, but at the same time I just wish they'd go away, that they were never there in the first place. I'm trying some off-brand scar treatment stuff right now and hoping it'll lessen their appearance.
:bfly: -Al :bfly:

"...And once you have tasted flight,
you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards,
for there you have been,
and there you long to return..."
- Leonardo da Vinci

My Place

User avatar
Never Again
quintessential regular
quintessential regular
Posts: 2069
Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2004 3:55 am
Location: USA

Post by Never Again » Mon Nov 28, 2005 4:43 am

sometimes i forget about my scars... and then i realize that their there, and i am so ashamed all over again. i wear long sleeves all year round. my family knows, because i can't hide them all the time, but i know it breaks my mom's heart everytime she sees.

i wish i could just be "normal" and not have to worry about pushing up my sleeves, or wearing a short sleeve shirt, or shorts. i wonder if i'll ever be able to, or if i'll always have to hide myself.
I have love. I have love but I don't know where to put it.

User avatar
xjodiex
creating your space
creating your space
Posts: 169
Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2005 1:39 pm
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Contact:

Post by xjodiex » Mon Nov 28, 2005 4:47 pm

i hate my scars, with a passion, all they seem to do is bring up unwelcome memories, and make me feel bad. its annoying, teh only person who has seen them is my boyfriend, and he says it is nothing to be ashamed of. i think he wears his scars proudly, as if he is saying "I've survived" i cant do that, i'm not that brave :cry:
Oh My lifestyle (Birth is Pain) determines my deathstyle!
a rising tide (Life is Pain) that pushes to the other side!
My lifestyle (Death is Pain) determines my deathstyle!
a rising tide (Its All The Same) that pushes to the other side!

User avatar
mydriasis
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 489
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2005 2:56 pm
Location: Scotland

Post by mydriasis » Mon Nov 28, 2005 5:31 pm

I've always been ashamed of my scars and keep them hidden all the time. Heh, when I was younger people touching my arms was enough to push me to the verge of a panic attack. I'm not quite so extreme now, but the idea of people seeing still upsets me. I can't count the number of times I've wished they just weren't there anymore.

But the thought of my scars disappearing scares me too. When my old scars start turning from purple to pink to white, it makes me panic. I have no idea why.

It's strange to both love and hate something so much.
Last edited by mydriasis on Wed Dec 07, 2005 12:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

I have a heap of unused DeadJournal codes if anyone wants one! :o

Welcome Wagon member.

User avatar
Skyeler
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7686
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2002 3:40 pm
Gender: Male

Post by Skyeler » Tue Nov 29, 2005 9:38 pm

I've tattooed over a lot of my worst scars.
They aren't important to me... I'm very apathetic towards them... They just happened to be in the places where I end up wanting to get tattooed.

The only time I care about people seeing them are when they're new.


Most of the time I feel like I don't belong.
But I got my new favorite record today.
My favorites change every single day.
Except you,
You'll always be number one.
[/center]

User avatar
tweaker
creating your space
creating your space
Posts: 175
Joined: Mon May 19, 2003 5:44 pm
Contact:

Post by tweaker » Thu Dec 01, 2005 12:20 am

I see picture of my arms and legs before scars and wish I had never done this to myself.I hate my skin and feel ugly.I have tatooed over some but I still have so many.It makes me sick when I look at them and yet I can't stop hurting myself.
We are each of us angels with only one wing- we can only fly by embracing one another. - Luciano de Crescenzo

User avatar
ghoulie13
bus mechanic
bus mechanic
Posts: 3474
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 3:50 pm
Location: unscrupulous dwelling/ mid-atlantic age~38~
Contact:

Post by ghoulie13 » Thu Dec 01, 2005 8:55 pm

they are not my scars!!!!!
.....

User avatar
toXic
creating your space
creating your space
Posts: 225
Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2004 5:39 am

Post by toXic » Fri Dec 02, 2005 6:51 am

i never hide mine, unless they're new... i'm a t-shirt and jeans kind of guy, so most of the time they're out there for the world to see... what happens if someone asks about them? i hide them and say it was from working on cars... obviously a lie, but most people have the decency to leave it alone after that...

one time at school someone at our lunch table comes right out and asks "mike why do you cut your arms?" and blah blah blah.. fortunately one of my friends quieted him down, but if i was alone i don't know what i would have done...

User avatar
flipflopfetish
awe-inspiring
awe-inspiring
Posts: 6119
Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2005 3:49 am
Location: People's Republic of Berzerkley
Contact:

Post by flipflopfetish » Fri Dec 02, 2005 6:59 am

morganna wrote:i love my scars but i hate other people seeing them so i hide them most of the time. i dont think anyone at work knows i si so i always wear long sleeves even when its very hot. on a personal level i think of them as part of me, they make my arms feel textured and i like stroking thekm. i guess i'm just afraid others will judge me for them or feel sorry for me
you took the words right out of my mouth :wink:

User avatar
TainTeD Xx gRAcE
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 448
Joined: Sat Sep 20, 2003 10:55 pm
Location: right here.
Contact:

Post by TainTeD Xx gRAcE » Sat Dec 03, 2005 10:27 pm

Sometimes I like them, sometimes I don't. Just recently my work found out about me and my best friend, as well as another girl who all cut, so now I am way more self conscious about it, because they all know. I always wear long sleeves under my work shirt... and right now that's okay, because it's cold.
<a href="http://www.punkymoods.com" title="Punkymoods (Unkymoods redux): Showcase your current mood"><img src="http://www.punkymoods.com/mood.php?userid=2649" alt="My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)" border="0" /></a>

User avatar
pandablue
driving instructor
driving instructor
Posts: 5803
Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2005 4:04 pm
Location: US...WestCoast...NorthWest Age:40ish

Post by pandablue » Sun Dec 04, 2005 3:45 am

I love them

and hate them

sometimes i find comfort in them

???

Feb 22,2006

for Jag
Image

new scribbles

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests