I'm pretty new here.
I just found out last Wednesday that my 12 year old daugher SI's.
She loves animals.
Background: She lives one week at her Dad's, one week with me (with her 14 year old sister).
At my house she has a guinea pig. At her Dad's house she has a cat and 2 guinea pigs. I don't know if her SI is worse at my house or her Dad's or neither.
I keep wondering what things might calm her or soothe her. I can't imagine her going for a walk or journalling or drawing or writing to calm herself. She seems to be too young and too overwhelmed to be proactive about finding and using coping techniques.
I really don't want another animal.
But then, I really have balked at getting a cell phone and finally did today, so that she could reach me at all times. Maybe I need to re-think the pet thing. Man, I don't want food bills, vet bills, animal hair, cleaning animal messes etc, but if it would make a significant improvement in her stress levels, I guess I'd have to reconsider.
Can anyone tell me if having a cat or a dog really helped them get grounded and calm and prevent SI?
Man, I don't want another pet. But... I'll do anything that has a good chance of helping her.
spirit
Do pets help?
- kelly_girl
- unpacking boxes
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 2:55 am
- Location: San-Diego
Well I have 2 dogs and a Rat. It helps..but it dosen't stop me from self-harming.
We enjoy warmth because we have been cold.
We appreciate light because we have been in darkness.
By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<br clear="all">
<img src="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/count_hugs ... kelly_girl" height="40" width="240" title="HUGS">
<br clear="all">
*HUGS* TOTAL!
<a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/hugs.cgi?& ... girl">give kelly_girl more *HUGS*</a>
<br><small><a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/gethugs.cgi">Get hugs of your own</a></small><br clear="all">
We appreciate light because we have been in darkness.
By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<br clear="all">
<img src="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/count_hugs ... kelly_girl" height="40" width="240" title="HUGS">
<br clear="all">
*HUGS* TOTAL!
<a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/hugs.cgi?& ... girl">give kelly_girl more *HUGS*</a>
<br><small><a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/gethugs.cgi">Get hugs of your own</a></small><br clear="all">
i have a bunny who i cuddle when i'm sad. i have read on here some people cats and dogs get upset when they get out their self harming tools and go to hurt themselves that would make me think twice. pets are a great distraction but if you really really can't handle one think of other ways to help her distract herself. can she come to you and say "i want to hurt myself now, lets talk about it?" that is a hard thing to do but might help
Thanks for the input.
I'm going to lean away from adding another animal right now. I thought if people felt animals significantly affected their SI in a positive way, then I should consider it. Seems like it probably won't have a huge affect, and she does have the guinea pig that she is responsible for.
I talked to her Dad about it tonight and he seems to agree.
The other part of this that I considered is that another animal, even if it helped, could be a crutch. I don't think crutches are always a bad thing, but knowing her temperment, I could see that if some time she wasn't with the animal she might use that as a justification to injure. I don't want to give her a coping mechanism that is outside herself. I'm hoping she can at some point learn coping mechanisms that she can take anywhere. Meditation, self-hypnosis, writing etc. I hope that made sense. Hard to make sense when you're still trying to make sense of it all.
spirit
I'm going to lean away from adding another animal right now. I thought if people felt animals significantly affected their SI in a positive way, then I should consider it. Seems like it probably won't have a huge affect, and she does have the guinea pig that she is responsible for.
I talked to her Dad about it tonight and he seems to agree.
The other part of this that I considered is that another animal, even if it helped, could be a crutch. I don't think crutches are always a bad thing, but knowing her temperment, I could see that if some time she wasn't with the animal she might use that as a justification to injure. I don't want to give her a coping mechanism that is outside herself. I'm hoping she can at some point learn coping mechanisms that she can take anywhere. Meditation, self-hypnosis, writing etc. I hope that made sense. Hard to make sense when you're still trying to make sense of it all.
spirit
I'm with you. vet bills are expensive. right now i have 10 pets and most of them are huge. they cost alot. they help me feel more loved but responsibility can be annoying for 10 of them.i lost within the last 3 years 27 of my other pets but only 1 is the reason im depressed. i think if youre going to get another animal you need to know that if she gets very attached to things that you dont give her one that shell devote herself to. the guinea pigs are good for her although they scare the hell out of me. i recomend that if you are serious about a pet that it be from the pound. that way she can relate to it in some way and theyll develope a connection. it certainly helps when people (or animals) know hwat youre going through.
oh and if you were wondering i don't own a zoo or pet shop.
animal colllecting is my hobby =]
oh and if you were wondering i don't own a zoo or pet shop.
animal colllecting is my hobby =]
When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
-Helen Keller
Nature never deceives us; it is we who deceive ourselves.
- Jean-Jacques Rousseau
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Do we have the right to perform medical experiments on animals?
"If you want to rot in hell." -Amelia Kinkade
-Helen Keller
Nature never deceives us; it is we who deceive ourselves.
- Jean-Jacques Rousseau
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Do we have the right to perform medical experiments on animals?
"If you want to rot in hell." -Amelia Kinkade
- marshmallowfluff
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 16914
- Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2005 11:52 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: South Yorkshire, UK Age: 26
hiya
maybe it wouldnt be the best idea at the moment to get another pet, as yu dont wanna be paying for everything and the animal hair all over etc (what you said above) i ahave a cat (who got run over a week ago ) who stopped my self harming. he'd nudge my hand till i stopped, or sit on me and refuse to budge until i put my "tool" away. if i took him off my knee, he'd jump back up. he'd sit on me, purring and kinda massaging me till i felt ok again. it was also theraputic, as someone else said, to sit and stroke him and cuddle him.
hope all is okay and take care
sarah
maybe it wouldnt be the best idea at the moment to get another pet, as yu dont wanna be paying for everything and the animal hair all over etc (what you said above) i ahave a cat (who got run over a week ago ) who stopped my self harming. he'd nudge my hand till i stopped, or sit on me and refuse to budge until i put my "tool" away. if i took him off my knee, he'd jump back up. he'd sit on me, purring and kinda massaging me till i felt ok again. it was also theraputic, as someone else said, to sit and stroke him and cuddle him.
hope all is okay and take care
sarah
"Dance like no one's watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like there's nobody listening.
And live like it's heaven on earth."
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 28 guests