Kaelyns+Log

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Lynn
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Post by Lynn » Wed Oct 26, 2005 9:28 pm

Those are really good! Well done on connecting the pozzies to yourself :) Heh we could learn from each other.

Congrats on staying SI free despite the strong urges.

:1hug:

Kaelyn
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Post by Kaelyn » Thu Oct 27, 2005 2:59 pm

heya Lin... yes maybe we could treat eachother :tongue:
okay back to pozzies:
:purpstar: I'm feeling really really positive today
:purpstar: Therapy went well because I could finally discuss the "SI images in my head" (and T was doing a good job, for a change)
:purpstar: I managed to arrange a "dinner-meeting" with friends tonight. That is good because there were plans, but no-one was doing anything, and then I took the initiative. I can arrange things!
:purpstar: I talked to the study-advisor about putting my study on hold.. she was really positive and helpful. I did well because I brought the message in a tactical way.. I told her I had medical problems.. So I didn't lie, but no need to explain everything about the SI as well.
:purpstar: I made myself a nice lunch. I'm taking care of myself, instead of neglecting.
:purpstar: aaand... the sun is shining... I love sunshine :1beaming1:
my place (visitors welcome)
fall seven times, stand up eight

Hope blooms, even in the darkest of places

Kaelyn
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Post by Kaelyn » Mon Oct 31, 2005 3:40 pm

Okay, I missed out on a lot of pozzies... gotta fill them all out.

Friday:
:pinkstar: I was invited to celebrate my best friend getting her bachelors' degree. The only other people she invited were her parents and brothers... I guess that indicates I have a special place in her family. I'm almost a part of her family. That made me feel special, loved and wanted.
:pinkstar: I spent the evening with another friend and stayed over at her place. When I turned around (because I had woken up) she thought I was having a bad dream again, and she poked me to wake me up.. She could've just gone back to sleep but she didn't. She was watching over me :) and I felt safe.

Saturday:
:cystar: I helped my mum with a dinner party she had. It shows that I'm not totally selfish.. I did it for her (because I really didn't like to help.. but did it anyway)
:cystar: I was socializing at the dinner party. That is good because it shows that I do have some degree of social skills.. I was able to keep the conversation going.

Sunday:
:lgrnstar: I had a good time at the market with a friend. We bought good materials for my cloak (yes, I'm going to make one!! :D ) and after that we had dinner at her place. We had an okay conversation about SI. I had to tell her that I quit studies for a while.. at first she was shocked but I managed to reassure her. Which is a positive thing.
my place (visitors welcome)
fall seven times, stand up eight

Hope blooms, even in the darkest of places

Kaelyn
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Post by Kaelyn » Tue Nov 01, 2005 11:40 am

Monday:
:blkstar: I managed to shut up this really annoying person by saying something she couldn't really respond to. I kept polite (while I was boiling with anger inside) but could shut her up with one remark! (normally she always has something to say back to you, but now she didn't)

Today:
:redstar: Went to talk to researcher today (is on project to find therapy for people that want to stop SI). Anyways, she told me I was brave. Because I stopped my studies and am going into daytime treatment soon, so I will be able to get better and save myself years and years of more misery (if I would deny the problem and continue going on). That I am brave for deciding that I want to change and have a better future.
:redstar: I was cycling back home and this totally random person in a wheelchair started smiling and waving at me. My first reaction was like.. wtf? do I know you? But then I smiled back and it made me feel better. Like I had made some kind of link with that person.
my place (visitors welcome)
fall seven times, stand up eight

Hope blooms, even in the darkest of places

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raven
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Post by raven » Tue Nov 01, 2005 6:53 pm

yay! i like this idea :)

um...

:bluestar: i have an amazing boyfriend who won't give up on me even when i take out my anger/depression on him

:bluestar: i bought lemon scented candles!

:bluestar: i love my stuffed panda
"life is short but sweet for certain."
^dave matthews band

"I don't understand how you manage to love a mob of birds that has just tried to kill you."
"Oh, Fletch, you don't love that! You have to practice and see the real gull, the good in every one of them, and to help them see it in themselves. That's what I mean by love."
^richard bach, jonathan livingston seagull

Kaelyn
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Post by Kaelyn » Wed Nov 02, 2005 12:29 pm

raven wrote: i love my stuffed panda
:D pandas are cool! I love black&white animals
(yes... I'm a zebra addict :tongue: )
my place (visitors welcome)
fall seven times, stand up eight

Hope blooms, even in the darkest of places

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Lynn
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Post by Lynn » Wed Nov 02, 2005 4:43 pm

Kaelyn wrote:Monday:
:blkstar: I managed to shut up this really annoying person by saying something she couldn't really respond to. I kept polite (while I was boiling with anger inside) but could shut her up with one remark! (normally she always has something to say back to you, but now she didn't)
Assertiveness! :D I love people being assertive! (So I can learn from them :wink: )

Kaelyn
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Post by Kaelyn » Wed Nov 02, 2005 9:18 pm

thankies Lin :D

Another one for yesterday... and important too:
:redstar: I wrote R a letter, explaining that I did not see her as a friend anymore. That she has become a sister to me. She didn't frown when she got it... it made her happy! (because she always wanted a sister, but never had one). I was so glad that she didn't get angry with me. :)
Anyways, that is good because I expressed my feelings for someone (which can be hard to do) and because I could do something back for her, after all she has done for me. Doing something for her, making her happy made me feel worthy, I can be a nice person. And I got happy because of it. :D


Today:
:star: I wrote another letter. This time to C. To tell her that she has a "sister" (C is the first friend I called sister... we kinda came to a sort of silent agreement that we were sisters... in spirit.)
:star: I bought a card to cheer up the friend that is feeling depressed.. I hope I'll be able to help her. It is good that I'm doing this because I am starting to think about others, besides myself.
:star: I got a pm from someone, saying thank you (for taking the time to reply on B&A). That made me happy. :) I hope I helped those people.
my place (visitors welcome)
fall seven times, stand up eight

Hope blooms, even in the darkest of places

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raven
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Post by raven » Thu Nov 03, 2005 11:54 pm

i think i really like this idea. to continue, for today:

:redstar: i meditated this morning, then fell asleep again, and had really restful sleep.

:redstar: i'm leaving tomorrow to visit my best friend in boston :) i haven't seen her since august!

:redstar: the sky was amazingly blue today
"life is short but sweet for certain."
^dave matthews band

"I don't understand how you manage to love a mob of birds that has just tried to kill you."
"Oh, Fletch, you don't love that! You have to practice and see the real gull, the good in every one of them, and to help them see it in themselves. That's what I mean by love."
^richard bach, jonathan livingston seagull

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Not_what
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Post by Not_what » Fri Nov 04, 2005 1:06 am

:)

I'm really impressed by your positive thread, it's very...um.... positive?? couldnt think of a better word!!

But it is really great, sounds like you are taking the time to really work on the positives you have :)

Good going!

And thank you so much for your replies, they've meant a lot to me :)
*It is only in darkness you can see the stars*
**Hakuna Matata**

Kaelyn
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Post by Kaelyn » Thu Nov 10, 2005 8:29 pm

I'v been neglecting my log :oops:

But pozzies for today:
:star: I went running and took a shower. I'm taking care of myself
:star: Had to make some calls, I hate calling.. but I did that anyway.
:star: Did some work around the house to help out my mum.
my place (visitors welcome)
fall seven times, stand up eight

Hope blooms, even in the darkest of places

Kaelyn
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Post by Kaelyn » Mon Nov 14, 2005 4:04 pm

:star: Today I cleaned up the garden.. I did it really well.. spent a lot of time on it.
my place (visitors welcome)
fall seven times, stand up eight

Hope blooms, even in the darkest of places

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raven
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Post by raven » Mon Nov 14, 2005 6:29 pm

i'll do some for yesterday since today is only half done:

:redstar: my friends made cookies and we had a lot of fun decorating them

:redstar: i slept for 9 hours!

:redstar: i finished all my homework before midnight

:)
"life is short but sweet for certain."
^dave matthews band

"I don't understand how you manage to love a mob of birds that has just tried to kill you."
"Oh, Fletch, you don't love that! You have to practice and see the real gull, the good in every one of them, and to help them see it in themselves. That's what I mean by love."
^richard bach, jonathan livingston seagull

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raven
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Post by raven » Mon Nov 14, 2005 6:32 pm

hmm.. *scratches head in embarrassment*

i thought this was a place for anyone to post pozzies. :oops: i'm sorry i stole your space kaelyn! but it's such a good idea. i might start my own or just continue these in my own place.
"life is short but sweet for certain."
^dave matthews band

"I don't understand how you manage to love a mob of birds that has just tried to kill you."
"Oh, Fletch, you don't love that! You have to practice and see the real gull, the good in every one of them, and to help them see it in themselves. That's what I mean by love."
^richard bach, jonathan livingston seagull

Kaelyn
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Post by Kaelyn » Tue Nov 15, 2005 10:54 am

its okay, I like reading other peoples pozzies as well :)
my place (visitors welcome)
fall seven times, stand up eight

Hope blooms, even in the darkest of places

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lostchild
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Post by lostchild » Thu Nov 17, 2005 11:23 pm

hi! just wanted to say that i love the fact you have a positives thread... and also... just being nosey... you mentioned earlier about scary med students... are you one? if not, and i talk from experience, some med students are not at all scary!!

Kaelyn
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Post by Kaelyn » Fri Nov 18, 2005 12:00 pm

well, I am one... but I don't know how long I will stay one.
I'm thinking of quitting and going back to my original study
(which is biomedical sciences)
my place (visitors welcome)
fall seven times, stand up eight

Hope blooms, even in the darkest of places

Kaelyn
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Post by Kaelyn » Thu Dec 01, 2005 10:49 pm

(not writing all of my pozzies here anymore.. I have a little book in which I write them down now... I do post the more important ones in here... don't want to bore you all with how well I did doing the dishes today, stuff like that :tongue: )

:star: My sister pulled her "I'm ignoring you because you're not doing what I tell you to do"-act again. It really triggered me and I was angry. But instead of cutting, I went downstairs after a while... and I told her that she was triggering me, and that it was a stupid reation of her to act that way. Especially because she asked. Asking is not giving out commands. Ha. I stood up for myself! :)
my place (visitors welcome)
fall seven times, stand up eight

Hope blooms, even in the darkest of places

Guest

Post by Guest » Sun Apr 23, 2006 3:05 am

Hey i like the idea of a positive log, I hope you dont mind me using your idea :)


Chey

Kaelyn
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Post by Kaelyn » Sun Apr 23, 2006 7:22 am

Not at all!

(by the way, thanks for bumping my post... it had "died" :o )
my place (visitors welcome)
fall seven times, stand up eight

Hope blooms, even in the darkest of places

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