Who do you talk to about your SI?

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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disastercake
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Who do you talk to about your SI?

Post by disastercake » Mon Oct 24, 2005 8:49 pm

And how did you know you could talk to them?


Personally, I haven't really talked to many people about it. There's a few that know, but only two that I've actually discussed it with. One being my friend I had class with last year, and she's very supportive. The other is my friend's mother. I'm wondering if that's strange... Anyways, she came to me about it. I was very thankful.

So, how about you?
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Post by marshmallowfluff » Mon Oct 24, 2005 8:55 pm

not many people....
I talk on here about it
and on msn to my penpal
but no one else...
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Post by kickingmyself » Mon Oct 24, 2005 9:04 pm

I don't talk about it with anyone, nobody knows. It's my secret, and I want to keep it that way. I know that my friends would worry and my family wouldn't know how to deal with it. It's been really hard actually coming onto this site because it's an admission of what I do, but I have been kind to my skin for 2 whole weeks now! So that's progress...

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Post by Small » Mon Oct 24, 2005 9:09 pm

There is someone who posts on here, who is a good friend of mine, and we can talk to each other when we're in the same place, which is getting more often. He's a huge help, and has given me the confidence to be open about my problem.

Thanks a lot Babyblu, love you loads :)

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Post by Kaelyn » Mon Oct 24, 2005 10:05 pm

My mum found out as the first person :( so I talk about it quite often with her... not really the best conversations I've ever had.. she has quite blunt opinions about SI from time to time. Well, from one thing came another, so now my dad and bro&sis also know.
I told four friends about it.. with two of them I discuss it more often (the other two didn't want to have to do too much with it.. so I don't mention it around them).
I try to avoid telling too many people now... I noticed that otherwise, everyone wants to talk about SI with you... I don't want to talk about it 24/7..
And then there's my T. Most of the discussing/talking about SI I do with him.
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Post by Blake 1 » Mon Oct 24, 2005 10:54 pm

i rarely say anything about it to my friends IRL cause they don't understand and get tired of me dealing with it. my parents ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist. my brother sometimes asks but i never tell him anything. i come on here a lot because no one else understands.
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Post by Alethea » Mon Oct 24, 2005 11:10 pm

I have 2 friends IRL that I can talk to about SI. One used to si when we were in high school together so that's how we started talking about it. Then I have one friend at college who I can talk to about it. I told her during a period when I had stopped because it fit into the conversation. (She used to have an ED.) Usually, I trust people to tell them if I feel that I have sufficient evidence that they will understand or at least be supportive of me. A few other people knew I used to (although not that I had started again) but I never really was able to discuss it with them. Even though I have people I can talk to though, it's still really hard to talk to them because they can't understand even though they support me.
It's something I want to keep hidden yet wish I could openly talk about with others - or at least with someone.
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Post by toXic » Mon Oct 24, 2005 11:32 pm

2 friends in real life... and then here on bus.

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Post by DecemberLivy » Mon Oct 24, 2005 11:40 pm

i have bus, and thats all really. my friends know about my SI and my mum knows but we never talk about it. i dont even talk about it that much on bus
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Post by disastercake » Tue Oct 25, 2005 12:04 am

Aletha, your situation sounds almost exactly like mine.
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Post by rainbowFAILURE » Tue Oct 25, 2005 10:50 am

Well, my mum and dad found out but I don't talk to them about it and they think I have stopped anyway which suits me fine.

I can;t talk to my friends about anything...so I guess I am just left to talking to C's about it.

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Post by dbms » Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:27 pm

I talk to my therapist and the folks on bus. Other than that no-one until I joined here. One, there are few (if any) people I know who would understand. Two, I don't trust people enough not to talk.

My wife knows that I have SI'd in the past but talking to her just upsets her terribly and then I have two problems to deal with, my own struggle and supporting her emotional state. It's a little more than I am willing to take on right now. I can cope with my state - most of the time I don't feel much of anything.
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Post by faerie-reject » Tue Oct 25, 2005 2:52 pm

I told my girlfriend at the time it first happened...she was a 'caring' holistic practitioner, or so I thought. I never saw her again.
I told my best friend the first time too. He still asks occasionally, but he was so worried, I tell him I've stopped.

dbms, I don't trust people not to talk either. I think they would (understandably) relieve their own concern by talking to yet someone else about it.

Consequently I am really hoping this forum will help. Even just reading the posts is reassuring.

P.

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Post by dbms » Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:49 pm

P. I'm hoping the same thing for bus as well. I can openly discuss what's happening with me and get some fairly objective thoughts in response. It certainly helps that I know people here can relate.

Sorry about the g/f. That must have hurt.
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Post by disastercake » Tue Oct 25, 2005 8:44 pm

I was VERY apprehensive about talking to people about it, and no one really knows everything, or even close. But, my friend's mother totally emphasized about not telling anyone and that she'd never hurt me like that...yada yada... It was almost to the point of being fake, but I could tell she was sincere. Then she told me that there is NO WAY I can quit without professional help. And there goes all my trust...
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Post by faerie-reject » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:11 am

Thanks, dbms!

And, dcake, I am truly sorry for the let down by your friend's mum.
I can totally empathise. I really thought my lassie at the time would understand.

Another friend I briefly told confessed to me that she then thought of trying it herself. That really really scared me. I felt truly awful for saying anything. I still do. Since then I have found she talks about her problems and other people's with others, so I don't really confide in her about anything now.

It's hard to know whether I can risk confiding in anyone else anymore.


P.

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Post by SpecialBlend » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:15 am

I confessed to my ex and my best friend, but now they have all but stopped talking to me.

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Post by isbyangel87 » Wed Oct 26, 2005 3:32 pm

The first person I told was my best friend that is on bus also. She convinced me to talk to our band teacher who had helped hwe with her si. Then I told my other best friend but he totally freaked out about it and told me to stop. Well that didn't happen. It got to the point where he would just get mad at me when I would do it but he wouldn't say anything to me about it. Then the last person I told was my ex which I regret so much because I dodn't even trust him and my guess is that he has already told everyone we know about me. And that is all who I have told.
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Post by stephy » Thu Oct 27, 2005 6:20 pm

I don't talk to anyone I feel like everyone looks down on me for it :(
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Post by rosie605 » Fri Oct 28, 2005 1:32 am

i've told 3 people about it. A good friend of mine thats a bit older than me and I consider her more of a mentor. she's always really supportive and has tried to get me to see a therapist.
Another friend knows about it but we don't talk about it.
My mother-in-law knows about it and asks me how i'm doing occasionally... i don't know if you can consider that "talking about it"
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