Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

steady hands · Post by **steady hands** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 12:38 am

*comments/pms fine*

-i've cut a lot in the past 4 days.
-I think my coach noticed them.
-A girl on my team noticed, and asked what happened. I lied to her.
-Another girl on my team keeps asking if i'm okay every time she sees me.
-When I went to the school office yesterday for attendance issues, I thought I was going to throw up since I was so nervous, I thought someone had reported me for SI.
-I'm giving my tools to him soon, but not yet, I need to be ready for this.

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 1:54 am

PM's OK

I have a crush (i think) on one of my female teachers (I'm bi), but I just call it taht for lack of a better word. I have had her now for 2 1/2 years for history and civics. How I really feel is hard to explain. I wish she was my mom. I wish she was an older friend. A mentour. Everything she does has a big impact on me. She turned me conservative (not because she was and I wanted to be like her but just by opening me too it). I dunno. I dunno. There is no way this is normal.

powdahchica · Post by **powdahchica** » Sat Oct 01, 2005 7:38 am

PMs are fine...

--I think I'm scared of how much I love you...
--I'm scared that the rest of my life is being decided and I'm only 19...
*
*
SU
*
*
--Sometimes suicide seems like a glorious release...
Thanks for listening.

Frozen · Post by **Frozen** » Sat Oct 01, 2005 10:43 am

i dont like this girl ellie at school becuase she doesnt respect certain things about me. And she pretends she knows it all just cos her dad is a doctor.

Blake 1 · Post by **Blake 1** » Sat Oct 01, 2005 10:09 pm

they don't see it but i am always the one left out and he only talks to me when no one else is online

i am scared of getting laughed at

i just want a best friend - someone who i can tell everything to and who won't judge me and who will understand instead of lecturing me

i like it when people tell me i am beautiful and really mean it

i hate being in class with him or being around him

i'm lonely a lot even when i'm around people

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Sun Oct 02, 2005 3:24 am

My doctors ask if I have sucidal thoughts. I always say no.

(really, I do.)

Forget Me · Post by **Forget Me** » Sun Oct 02, 2005 10:50 am

they say bird flu is going to mutate and kill up to 150 million people.......
im excited

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 12:12 am

PM'S OK

im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry
im scared
im sad

Mundo Cani · Post by **Mundo Cani** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 1:47 am

*su tigs*

- I came so close to ending it all this year, closer than anyone I know realises. No-one knows that I thought about death atleast once everyday for well over six months, and one day in particular... If I'd have had something sharp with me at the time I would be long dead by now.

*end su trigs*

- I still love her and always will. She will always hold a place in my heart, even when I'm in love with someone else. I gave so much of myself to her that she will always have a part of me. I shall never get it back but I sacrifice it gladly because she was worth it. I found and lived a love worth dying for and that's not something you find everyday.

(PM's ok)[/i]

smr89 · Post by **smr89** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 2:55 am

**PMs OK**

VowsofSaddness you said: "-Okay people know I am bad at hearing but they think I am joking, they don't realize to what extent. ...I use a combination of watching people's lips and hearing what they say Thus my next secret is:
>>>>>>>- My friend since childhood katie speaks really softly and covers her mouth MOST OF THE TIME I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE IS SAYING. i'll ask her to repeat things once but after that I just pretend I understand her until I know what were talking about."

- Oh my gosh, I do the exact same thing. The bad part is when I just nod and act like I get it and they look at me like I'm crazy and it turns out that they just asked me a question and are waiting for me to respond.

-I have failed the test for my learners 3 times. Err..... Now I'm really scared to go back and take it again.

UPDATE: I took it on Friday and I passed! I was so excited (I still am). I love driving, and I'm not bad. Lol

- I worry that my kids will be just like me and I do not want that

- I worry that I'll never get married and thus will never have the kids that I worry will be just like me. Or I worry that if I do get married my husband won't be a virgin

-guys don't seem to be at all interested in me. I act like I don't care and its all fine but I hate it. At school all the other girls have at least 1+ guys that are into them but not me. I'm not sure why.

-everyone thinks I'm over si but in reality I want to do it so bad, even though I haven't really done it in 6 months. And I'm not ashamed of my scars. Actually I love them.

-I act like I'm over my dad being gone but I'm really not

-I act like I'm over having been abandoned by another man in my life named Donnie. Since my dads gone, Donnie was kind of my 'father figure' if you will (I hate that term but for the life of me can't think of anything better). We don't talk or even see each other. I act like it's all good but really it's killing me that he's not there anymore. I hate it, I miss him, and I just want to cry. I'd die if he ever found this out.

- Since it does hurt that he's gone I often try to find ways to be angry at him. This helps it not hurt so bad. Sometimes the reasons I'm angry are justified but often they're probably not.

-I've lied to doctors and therapists more times than I can count about cutting, suicide thoughts, depression and if I'm taking my depression pills

-I just lied to my mom tonight about if I'm feeling depressed again and still wanting to si

- I pretend like I've got it all together now, and I think I do a good job of pretending because no one has seemed to notice that everything is falling apart again in my life

I love the idea of this post by the way. I had heard of PostSecret. I had thought of trying to find out how to do that but now I don't have to. Thanks! and sorry so many!

Blake 1 · Post by **Blake 1** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 4:11 am

I love Alan and I really miss our friendship

Sometimes I refuse hugs when I *really* need them cause I don't think I'm deserving enough.

I push people away because I don't want them to find out who I really am.

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:06 pm

im scared

gin and kerosene · Post by **gin and kerosene** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 4:05 am

after I purge i feel like hell but i keep doing it.
Im going to keep purging because i dont have anything left.
A part of me wants to tell someone but if i do they will take it away from me.

Not_what · Post by **Not_what** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 2:48 pm

Comments/PM's are fine

I know i have an ED but i cant do anything about it

I am not ok

I love my best friend (but he loves me too)

I dont know what Im doing anymore

I keep skipping college

près de vous · Post by **près de vous** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 4:49 pm

**pm's are fine**

it still hurts that she chose to be with him over being with me. the thought of them together makes me sick and makes me wanna cut. i hate that things aren't like they used to be and that i'm not apart of her life like i used to be...she's not apart of my life like she is used to be either. i chose this screen name because of me and her, and how we were getting closer. not it's just a constant reminder of how far apart we are.

Blake 1 · Post by **Blake 1** » Thu Oct 06, 2005 1:06 am

I don't have any idea what i'm doing or where i'm going. i don't really have any hope, i don't like change. i don't want things to stay the same as they are now but i'm scared of changing.

smr89 · Post by **smr89** » Thu Oct 06, 2005 2:55 am

The man I talked about before said he's going to call me tomorrow. I told him it makes no difference to me either way but it does. I want him to call because I want to be the one who decides if we talk or not. Then I'll be in control. And I might be the jerk, not him. I still don't know if I'm going to answer the phone.... I'll decide when (if) it rings. I'm still mad at him, or at least I'm trying to be

I think I have a crush on Andy but he's WAY out of my league.

I think Mr. H. is really cute! I don't know why, he's really not hot or anything. **UPDATE: oops, I kinda lied, I do know why, it's the same crap that I've been through before!**

I want to be kissed. I don't want to go any farther than that though. I've had a kiss before but not a 'real' one (I was in 7th grade, it doesn't count) And I want it to be with a really cute guy.

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Thu Oct 06, 2005 3:18 am

I stole broken glass from the chem lab

oh the thrill

gin and kerosene · Post by **gin and kerosene** » Thu Oct 06, 2005 5:50 am

Si stuff...im not really sure if this is allowed. edit if needed.

There was all this bld but i still didnt hit the vein. I dontknow if i want to die but I guess thats my answer right there.

Im putting all i got into this job and its killing me.

marylou · Post by **marylou** » Thu Oct 06, 2005 12:53 pm

PM's if you want, but no urgent need

I think I might have an ED, but nobody knows or even notices. I'm not really skinny, or obvious about it.
But inside I'm telling me horrible things and I'm hating my body.

Sometimes I think having an ED would be one more problem I could create for myself.

____

I love D and I miss us being friends. I don't know what happened and it hurts.

____

I keep thinking about just bringing some random home and sleeping with them.

bus

Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

No IRL, thanks.

ed stuff

Who is online