how do i cope with uni & lonliness/homesick-ness?

amyfairy · Post by **amyfairy** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 9:52 am

i'm a fresher at uni, & i've been here for 10 days now. and don't get me wrong, i'm having an amazing time for the most part, it's awesome. meeting people, going out, drinking, studying a subject a love (though it looks too hard for me

) etc.,

but i'd like to know some tips on coping with how to cope with feeling isolated from my home & family, because every so often i feel like i want to go home so badly & i can't take another moment here. this is when i ring my dad in the middle of the night crying hysterically down the phone

but i don't want it to keep reaching that stage. i want to be able to cope. i know it gets better with time, but there must be something i can do for myself to make me feel better... ? any suggestions welcome.

also, i don't think i'm alone in feeling like this, am i? because it seems like others around me don't want to go home at all.

thankyou,
amy

jaded melody · Post by **jaded melody** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 10:40 am

hey ams

do you have any good friends at uni you could go to when you feel homesick? I think that maybe that cycle of being homesick, calling home and crying etc, might just lead to you feeling MORE homesick, when instead it would help you more to say to yourself, ok, im really homesick. crying down the phone to my dad wont help, it will make us both feel bad, so can i spend some time with somebody here instead?

I think that if when you feel lonely you turn to the people where you are right now it might help you settle in better

just a suggestion

oh, and yes, other people feel like you, they probably just think its uncool to admit it.

amyfairy · Post by **amyfairy** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 11:28 am

thanks

(rest deleted as it's in the past!)

magebaby · Post by **magebaby** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 9:16 pm

have you registered with the univeristy counselling service? most unis also have a nightline of some sort, so you can call and chat to someone when you feel really rough.

sometimes the best thing to do is get out of the flat and do stuff even if you don't really feel like it. i know there's a huge temptation to stay in one's own room with familiar things from home, but it's actually probably better to get out there and explore or do things or hang out.

have you looked into societies you can join?

take care and good luck.

mage

Erinyes · Post by **Erinyes** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 4:18 pm

Hi, as a Resident Assistant at a uni I know that we are ready and willing to help with homesickness. I know my freshy year was tough I was 5 1/2 hours away from home and couldn't leave b/c i didn't have a car. Anyways try talking with your RA, if you have one. They are wonderful people and they will help in everyway they can! Trust me they're like floor moms! It's great! Good luck with everything.
Erinyes

Prince Rhyus · Post by **Prince Rhyus** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 6:35 pm

Amy,

first of all congrats on getting to uni in the first place.

Back in 99 when I was a fresher, I set myself a target of not phoning home and not returning home for the first 6 weeks. I stuck to it and the first term seemed fine. (The rest of uni was crap though, but that's another story!)

Keeping yourself occupied is the key. Make sure some of those occupations are physical activities - sports for example. If you come home physically shattered you are more likely to have a good nights sleep. Doing things during the day that keep you occupied and surrounded by people is also a good thing to do.

Whatever you do, please don't follow my example of being a room hermit. I spiralled into depression because of housemate issues - basically I was in a house with 11 women and because I wasn't an adonis and because they split off into cliques, I ended up isolated to the extent that I didnt have what it took to move out.

I did find a good group of housemates in the second year so by all means, meet lots of people and make lots of acquaintances but be careful who you make friends with.

All the best

Rhyus

Koru · Post by **Koru** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 6:24 pm

You are definately not alone. I was horribly homesick when I started Uni. I couldn't understand why my mum stopped calling me and she said later that it was because everytime we spoke I ended up in tears because I was homesick and she though she was making it worse.

The only advice I can give is the same as other peoples - keep yourself really busy. Clubs and societies are great, they get you out, give you a chance to do something you enjoy and meet loads more people. The friendships will evolve in time although it sounds like some are coming on well already.

Failing all else, a teddy bear, a mug of hot chocolate and a book or film should help

Small · Post by **Small** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 2:40 am

Koru wrote: Clubs and societies are great, they get you out, give you a chance to do something you enjoy and meet loads more people. The friendships will evolve in time although it sounds like some are coming on well already.

Join a society. I also started uni in 99 and my first year was horrible. But in my second year I joined the gaming and roleplay society, where I met most of my current friends. They are really good people, and I'm lucky to have them, cos Gods know I don't deserve them.

There are friends for you at uni, and its worth hanging around to find them. Then you can also get a degree as an added bonus.

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 7:25 pm

you are not alone. I have gone home every weekend.

Maybe you can have a set time every day to call/write home? That way you don't quite reach the crisis point?

bus

how do i cope with uni & lonliness/homesick-ness?

how do i cope with uni & lonliness/homesick-ness?

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