alex- im sorry for bugging you so much about the chaos stuff. and my newfound abilities. i just want to hone them and im sorry. i love you more than anything
mrs patton- i wish you would go boil your head and die
chris- stop being such a fucking hermit and read your goddamn short stories. if they would hurt me (which i doubt you would care about) then i dont give a shit. talk to me sometimes. i want to know about jenna. im not gonna poison her you paranoid whelp.
Things Left Unsaid *LA*
Eisa = Beasty's Twin
Beasty's Place!
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fuzzy ducky
- spiffy maximus
- Posts: 4206
- Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2005 10:42 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: UK
I have tried and tried and tried. If you dont want to be friends, tell me. Whether it hurts me or not. Just tell me. I can only take so much rejection and I am starting to feel like I am just totally making a fool of myself. I dont want to think that you are laughing at me behind my back after I have rang you and tried to be nice. I dont want to believe that of you. I meant what I said in the email I sent you last night. I want to know I am not trying to hold onto something that isnt ever going to happen.
My Myspace
Of course I'm out of my mind, Its dark and scary in there
Fuzzy Ducky - Zombie wh0r
My Place-Slightly Quackers
Of course I'm out of my mind, Its dark and scary in there
Fuzzy Ducky - Zombie wh0rMy Place-Slightly Quackers
i'm afraid this isn't going to work. shit. love's not enough. you're not a moron -- why did you act like one? i don't understand. i don't know how to find a way out. i know you are going to try to reassure me as you have before. i know what you're going to say. and i just don't know what to believe anymore.
--
i'm sorry i'm not a good daughter. i wish i could be. please try not to judge me so much. please get help.
--
mage
--
i'm sorry i'm not a good daughter. i wish i could be. please try not to judge me so much. please get help.
--
mage
"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." -- Vincent Van Gogh
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
---
How can you do this to me? You said over and over you were my friend and you cared! But where the fuck were you when I needed you the most? How come you fucking blow every plan you make with me? How come you treat me like I am weird?
I'm not a fucking doormat! If you won't hold to your commitments to me, don't expect me to do the same!
Call me the most "kindhearted" person all you want! It doesn't change the fact I have feelings too and that I have as much of a right to get angry as anyone else! Go ahead and complain how much I've changed! Go ahead and just IGNORE me because you don't "know what to say!" The truth is, you are too fucking stingy to open yourself up to me! You think you are too good for me, so you'd toss your fucking bread scraps to me like a beggar and expect to be called a saint!
You say you believe in compassion! Like hell you do. Your idea of compassion is just a passive aggressive form of violence!
---
I don't understand. How can I believe you love me? You say over and over that you do. But you refuse to acknowledge me! There is a part of me whom you never acknowledged existed! You denied this part of me! So in a sense, you neglected me.
As long as I am calm and docile, you love me. As long as I succeed, you love me. But if I show sadness, you blame me. If I show anger, you call me a spoiled sociopath. If I don't give into your every whim, you automatically label me as a sociopath, or a spoiled brat without a conscience. Why can't you fucking acknowledge that I have my own thoughts and feelings and they will exist regardless of whether you want them to or not?
You are blind. You want to blame everything on me, but you don't want to see where the problem might truly be you. You say I never talk to you, but if you'd spend any time listening, you'd know I was trying to talk to you. You are just never paying any attention. After all, I'm unimportant to you! I'm sorry for being a born a mistake! I'm sorry I didn't fulfill your expectations. No, wait! I'm not! This is who I am and if you refuse to accept me as I am now, I will disown you and say I never knew you. I will find those who will acknowledge me!
---
What the hell is your problem? You attack me for being "judgemental", yet you can't even document the problem! Why should I take you seriously, especially consider the nature of how you behave toward others yourself? I think your pathetic attempts at being witty are far more judgemental than my sincere attempts to encourage people.
Go ahead and harp me for being insecure and needy. Your problem is far worse if you feel the need to stalk me and find anything you can to use against me. You are one hell of an annoying little bug.
---
Why do you look at me as a sinner for simply hurting and being lonely? Why do you call me self-centered? I think it's the other way around. I think if you really took the time to know me (as in, get out of the very shell you accuse me of being in), you'd find me very different.
I don't get you. How come wanting people to be reliable is too high of an expectation? How come wanting people to be consistent is a violation of their lives? How come you think of my deep perception of friendship as a sign of a personality disorder? Little do you know that attitudes like yours toward people like me are what creates these very "personality disorders". You can deny our feelings, but our nature is to eventually express them. Some of us may finally express them in violence.
Do you know that denying my feelings and my thoughts is murder? You are murdering me by denying my existence in this world. By saying the things that are important to me are invalid, you are saying I have no right to exist. You can tell me to see it from your side, but I dare you to see things from MY side. I've held to many different viewpoints in my life, so I think I am much more qualified than you are.
---
You ignore me because I am sad and lonely. Do you even realize you make me more sad and lonely? If I am just "no fun", then you were never my friend in the first place. You are just like that story of the Red Hen. Her friends refused to help her make the bread, but they wanted to eat it when she was done. But she rightfully denied them, as they did not contribute. Likewise, I have no need of you. If you ignore me when I am down, then you don't deserve to see my "good" side.
How can you do this to me? You said over and over you were my friend and you cared! But where the fuck were you when I needed you the most? How come you fucking blow every plan you make with me? How come you treat me like I am weird?
I'm not a fucking doormat! If you won't hold to your commitments to me, don't expect me to do the same!
Call me the most "kindhearted" person all you want! It doesn't change the fact I have feelings too and that I have as much of a right to get angry as anyone else! Go ahead and complain how much I've changed! Go ahead and just IGNORE me because you don't "know what to say!" The truth is, you are too fucking stingy to open yourself up to me! You think you are too good for me, so you'd toss your fucking bread scraps to me like a beggar and expect to be called a saint!
You say you believe in compassion! Like hell you do. Your idea of compassion is just a passive aggressive form of violence!
---
I don't understand. How can I believe you love me? You say over and over that you do. But you refuse to acknowledge me! There is a part of me whom you never acknowledged existed! You denied this part of me! So in a sense, you neglected me.
As long as I am calm and docile, you love me. As long as I succeed, you love me. But if I show sadness, you blame me. If I show anger, you call me a spoiled sociopath. If I don't give into your every whim, you automatically label me as a sociopath, or a spoiled brat without a conscience. Why can't you fucking acknowledge that I have my own thoughts and feelings and they will exist regardless of whether you want them to or not?
You are blind. You want to blame everything on me, but you don't want to see where the problem might truly be you. You say I never talk to you, but if you'd spend any time listening, you'd know I was trying to talk to you. You are just never paying any attention. After all, I'm unimportant to you! I'm sorry for being a born a mistake! I'm sorry I didn't fulfill your expectations. No, wait! I'm not! This is who I am and if you refuse to accept me as I am now, I will disown you and say I never knew you. I will find those who will acknowledge me!
---
What the hell is your problem? You attack me for being "judgemental", yet you can't even document the problem! Why should I take you seriously, especially consider the nature of how you behave toward others yourself? I think your pathetic attempts at being witty are far more judgemental than my sincere attempts to encourage people.
Go ahead and harp me for being insecure and needy. Your problem is far worse if you feel the need to stalk me and find anything you can to use against me. You are one hell of an annoying little bug.
---
Why do you look at me as a sinner for simply hurting and being lonely? Why do you call me self-centered? I think it's the other way around. I think if you really took the time to know me (as in, get out of the very shell you accuse me of being in), you'd find me very different.
I don't get you. How come wanting people to be reliable is too high of an expectation? How come wanting people to be consistent is a violation of their lives? How come you think of my deep perception of friendship as a sign of a personality disorder? Little do you know that attitudes like yours toward people like me are what creates these very "personality disorders". You can deny our feelings, but our nature is to eventually express them. Some of us may finally express them in violence.
Do you know that denying my feelings and my thoughts is murder? You are murdering me by denying my existence in this world. By saying the things that are important to me are invalid, you are saying I have no right to exist. You can tell me to see it from your side, but I dare you to see things from MY side. I've held to many different viewpoints in my life, so I think I am much more qualified than you are.
---
You ignore me because I am sad and lonely. Do you even realize you make me more sad and lonely? If I am just "no fun", then you were never my friend in the first place. You are just like that story of the Red Hen. Her friends refused to help her make the bread, but they wanted to eat it when she was done. But she rightfully denied them, as they did not contribute. Likewise, I have no need of you. If you ignore me when I am down, then you don't deserve to see my "good" side.
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bright.eyes
- sprouting branches
- Posts: 1075
- Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2004 1:46 pm
- Location: UK
i fucking hate you
i actually do
i've felt it before but at the moment i never want to talk to you again, you have been so unbelievably horrible and bitchy to me.
how dare you tell me that someone is using me??
how dare you fucking judge us, when you have absolutely no idea what is going on.
you spent the whole fucking weekend with your stupid boyfriend, even though all your friends haven't seen you for a whole summer but you've spent the past week in spain with him.
you had absolutely no idea what was going on with me and him, you had no idea of the kind of friendship we had, and you just fucking tell me he's using me.
you horrible horrible bitch
i hate you
then you fucking go and call me a slut, and tell me i'm gettin a reputation, when YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO THINKS THAT. no one else fucking thinks that, so stop judging people with your own fucked up rules.
i actually do
i've felt it before but at the moment i never want to talk to you again, you have been so unbelievably horrible and bitchy to me.
how dare you tell me that someone is using me??
how dare you fucking judge us, when you have absolutely no idea what is going on.
you spent the whole fucking weekend with your stupid boyfriend, even though all your friends haven't seen you for a whole summer but you've spent the past week in spain with him.
you had absolutely no idea what was going on with me and him, you had no idea of the kind of friendship we had, and you just fucking tell me he's using me.
you horrible horrible bitch
i hate you
then you fucking go and call me a slut, and tell me i'm gettin a reputation, when YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO THINKS THAT. no one else fucking thinks that, so stop judging people with your own fucked up rules.
moved 'cause i posted it in the wrong thread
i tried. actually tried. i replied when i didn't want to, i was honest, i told you that i miss you ... yet you ignored me, you cut me off, blatantly showed how much you hate me, and how little i mean to you. you just told me that you cared only a couple of hours before .. what did i do wrong? why can't i make you care? i want to be part of your life, i can't bear to be left by someone else, please come back. please.
i tried. actually tried. i replied when i didn't want to, i was honest, i told you that i miss you ... yet you ignored me, you cut me off, blatantly showed how much you hate me, and how little i mean to you. you just told me that you cared only a couple of hours before .. what did i do wrong? why can't i make you care? i want to be part of your life, i can't bear to be left by someone else, please come back. please.
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musicofcacophony
- settling in
- Posts: 133
- Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2005 11:52 pm
- Location: NJ, USA
- Contact:
Father - I. Fucking. Hate. You. What part of that are you having problems comprehending? I don't want to see you...ever. Stop ruining my life. I mean, seriously, what the fuck?
you make me crazy....
and you scare the shit out of me.
and I would never say any of this to your face....I don't particularly getting the shit kicked out of me.
fucker.
stop screwing me over.
leave.
arrrrrggg!!!!
you make me crazy....
and you scare the shit out of me.
and I would never say any of this to your face....I don't particularly getting the shit kicked out of me.
fucker.
stop screwing me over.
leave.
arrrrrggg!!!!
_______________________________________
"So, what'll we do with ourselves
this afternoon, and the day after that,
and for the next
thirty years?"
-The Great Gatsby
"So, what'll we do with ourselves
this afternoon, and the day after that,
and for the next
thirty years?"
-The Great Gatsby
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bright.eyes
- sprouting branches
- Posts: 1075
- Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2004 1:46 pm
- Location: UK
aaaarrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhh
stop fucking bitching about me to other people. god ur so fucking boring, ur such a loser, u dont know to have a good time so u bitch about people who are having a good time? ur missing out on so much, the best years of ur life! and u have NO IDEA. wot did u say? "was she with someone else last night?" "thats not fun, and thats not funny". im sorry but its both those things, some people are enjoying life.
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
cant even express my anger.
stop fucking bitching about me to other people. god ur so fucking boring, ur such a loser, u dont know to have a good time so u bitch about people who are having a good time? ur missing out on so much, the best years of ur life! and u have NO IDEA. wot did u say? "was she with someone else last night?" "thats not fun, and thats not funny". im sorry but its both those things, some people are enjoying life.
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
cant even express my anger.
jamie: thank god you finally talked to me. you are so stupid, but i love you so much 
platonically. you're my jamie and i'll look after you. we'll be okay. i promise.
platonically. you're my jamie and i'll look after you. we'll be okay. i promise.<center>
<b>FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?!</b>
~"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."~
Another Lonely Day
~~Laura~~
</center>
<b>FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?!</b>
~"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."~
Another Lonely Day
~~Laura~~
</center>
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xanemicroyaltyx
- part of the fixtures
- Posts: 2358
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 1:00 am
- Location: England
sorry, boys. i fucked up. do either of you actually give a fuck? probably not. i expect i'm making too much of this. like i always do, like i knew i would. oh well. thats why i'm looking forward to town tomorrow. i might get to see what you guys think now.
<center>
<b>FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?!</b>
~"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."~
Another Lonely Day
~~Laura~~
</center>
<b>FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?!</b>
~"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."~
Another Lonely Day
~~Laura~~
</center>
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silvertears
- settling in
- Posts: 141
- Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 1:18 pm
- Location: florida
MOM - if you must be so negative and critical about everything then do it away from me. Don't talk to me if it is something negative I am grown up and I will choose to live how ever I see fit! And as far as whats wrong with you latly..... UMM YOU!!!
D- You said you'd call back??????? Where were you........
J - I"ll get off line when ever I want to!
W - uhhh get off you lazy ass at work and do soemthing productive and mabe people won't complain about you.
D- You said you'd call back??????? Where were you........
J - I"ll get off line when ever I want to!
W - uhhh get off you lazy ass at work and do soemthing productive and mabe people won't complain about you.
you have no idea how much i want to be with you. im so creepy. dont worry, i'll get over it. all in good time, my friend. sorry i'm not good enough for you. or for anyone, for that matter.... >_< god, i'm so pathetic.
<center>
<b>FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?!</b>
~"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."~
Another Lonely Day
~~Laura~~
</center>
<b>FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?!</b>
~"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."~
Another Lonely Day
~~Laura~~
</center>
i wish i could make you understand. i know i can't. i'm so mixed up -- i can't tell whether i'm the screwed up one or they are or you are. i don't know what i should feel anymore -- whether i should trust them or not. i don't know what "should" means anymore. they matter to me, i matter to them. that's what i want to believe.
i don't know what this wedge is you talk about. when i think aobut things that divide us, i think of other things. not this. this doesn't come between us as far as i am concerned, except that you lied to me before. but i've dealt with that. i don't know what i should do.
--
do you see it being ok?
--
mage
i don't know what this wedge is you talk about. when i think aobut things that divide us, i think of other things. not this. this doesn't come between us as far as i am concerned, except that you lied to me before. but i've dealt with that. i don't know what i should do.
--
do you see it being ok?
--
mage
"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." -- Vincent Van Gogh
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
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Mindpoison
- meeting the neighbors
- Posts: 472
- Joined: Sat Feb 26, 2005 12:35 am
- Contact:
-
t_k
- building community
- Posts: 580
- Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2004 4:26 am
- Location: Wellington, New Zealand
- Contact:
Tim: You're a horrible fucking person, you know that? You and Maria are the perfect fucking couple. Between the 2 of you you can make me feel anything. You're a horrible fucking person, Tim. Telling me I'm hot, that you would have gotten with me if you'd have known how hot I'd get blah blah blah. Fuck I hate you! My life's been great and you have to come and fucking well hit on me. Fuck you. You know your girlfriend will always fucking well be hotter and better than me but still you tease me.
Die you fucking wanker!
You've hurt so many chicks.
JUST FUCK THE HELL OF AND DIE YOU FUCKING CUNT!!!
Die you fucking wanker!
You've hurt so many chicks.
JUST FUCK THE HELL OF AND DIE YOU FUCKING CUNT!!!
<CENTER>Lunchbox
Eating Disorder Forums</CENTER>
Eating Disorder Forums</CENTER>
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NobodyToYou
- board admin emeritus
- Posts: 17634
- Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2005 6:03 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: USA
E & K- I am not good enough for this. I am not the person you think I am. I am going to mess up. I will not be strong enough. If you knew, you wouldn't be thinking about this. I am not who you think I am.
C- I wish I could trust you enough to tell you that I am not ok. But I don't think you really care anymore. I know you used to...but I was only important when you needed me, right? Now that you don't need me and have plenty of other support, you don't have to waste time caring about how I am doing. I know I am being rude...that is why I didn't say it to you and I won't tell you later. Just going to say it here so that it has been said.
Dr. R.- I really really really miss you. And I want to talk to you. But I can't because I know I am wasting your time and you can't really fix it anyway. I kinda wish I had failed that class so that I wouldn't be having to handle things on my own right now...I could still be there and have someone know what is going on. And...since I am saying things that I would never tell you anyway...I want a hug. I know I can't have one. But I want one anyway.
C- I wish I could trust you enough to tell you that I am not ok. But I don't think you really care anymore. I know you used to...but I was only important when you needed me, right? Now that you don't need me and have plenty of other support, you don't have to waste time caring about how I am doing. I know I am being rude...that is why I didn't say it to you and I won't tell you later. Just going to say it here so that it has been said.
Dr. R.- I really really really miss you. And I want to talk to you. But I can't because I know I am wasting your time and you can't really fix it anyway. I kinda wish I had failed that class so that I wouldn't be having to handle things on my own right now...I could still be there and have someone know what is going on. And...since I am saying things that I would never tell you anyway...I want a hug. I know I can't have one. But I want one anyway.
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