tell me which is better ok? *si*

[Cellardoor]

right, i really dont no which is better so can some one give me some advice?
well lately ive been seriously trying to stop cutting, like REALLY trying so hard right? and ive done really well. i havnt cut in about 2 weeks. but heres the thing right, when i dont cut and i REALLY want to i go crazy.
i do things like sitting up all night and talking to myself manicly, or staring at my hands for ages so they dont cut me, or being absolutely petrefied of looking in the mirror, or shaking and hardly breathing cos im so scared il cut my self or staying frozen not letting my self move, or not being able to move out of a circle id traced around my self... and this isnt all weird panic attack stuff cos i have them too and its different...
im so scared if i keep on not cutting il end up in a mental hospital and im really not messing here.
but if i just cut when i want to then im 100% grand.
i really dont no which to do.
please reply ok? el xxx

[Oblivion]

Im afraid i dont know. I havent ever managed to stop cutting and im at a stage where i hope i do get put in a mental hosptial as i will be safe there and get the help i need. Are you on any medication? Have you told your doctor about this? Im guessing not. Stay safe and im sorry i wasnt much help.

[pandablue]

are you seeing a therapist?
I'm not an expert but I do hear a lot of people say they have stopped trying to quit because it actually makes matters worse for them when they try so hard. Maybe looking at the underlying issues that drive you to cut would be a good thing to be doing rather than white knuckling it. I think cutting in itself is not necessarily the problem but rather a symptom of the problem.
Hope that made sense.








Panda

[Cellardoor]

im not on any medication and im not seeing a therapist. my mum doesnt know you see and i dont want to tell her cos shes having such a crappy time herself i dont think she can handle knowing whats going on with me. and we have like, no money to may for any of it anyway, we have literaly no income coming into our house...

[Cellardoor]

i think ur probly rite though, about the underlying issues and all that...

[Oblivion]

Im pretty sure Irelands the same as Scotland as in, it would get paid for you. I dont pay for my treatment (other than buying my meds because i work). The doctors treat you though the NHS. Maybe you should go visit your doctor and see if he can help you.

[Cellardoor]

hmm... il give it a think ok? thanks el xxx

[Oblivion]

I hope you get something that works for you. Please stay safe.

[treasure]

maybe while you are not thinking of cutting and not anxious, you could prepare a little for what you might go through when the thoughts/feelings are there? for example, getting away from things you might use to harm yourself or having paper and pen handy so you can write or scribble down some of the fear and anxiety. also imo its pretty important to have support to fight si, could you talk to friends or someone else about it?
hope you're doing ok, treasure

[pretty]

What everyone else said about working through the underlying stuff is true.

I really think trying to stop without other coping mechanisms put in place can be a bad thing. Stopping is hard, and it takes time, and you can't just do it cold sometimes.

But it is worth it, and there are other ways to cope. I like what treasure says about working out a plan while you're feeling ok. The best you can do is try things and see what helps.

I hope you can work this out, it sounds like you're in a pretty bad place; you deserve better.

[chloe312]

quittin is also gunna b hard wotever way u do it, so insted of decidin to stop cuttin, u shud aim to stop gettin angry or upset or wotever makes u feel th need to si, therapy rly dus help so much, and will b free for u, meds can also help to calm u down thru these panic attacks aswell, but thats a big decision n is up to u. if u cnt tlk to ur mum, can u tlk to a frend?