Is this weird?

[its_just_me]

ok, so here i am. urgy, again. and feeling very frusrated. but i can't think of any particular thing that set me off. i had just recently made it a long time (for me) without si. but then i messed up and have done it twice since. (thus my frustration)

my question is;

is it possible just to be urgy due to a lack of si, or is there a trigger somewhere that i'm missing?

[candiperfumegirl]

I think it is possible to get your urge from just not SI ing it happens to me quite a bit

[Space_Man]

is it possible just to be urgy due to a lack of si, or is there a trigger somewhere that i'm missing?

First of all, welcome to B.U.S. !

Interesting topic. And, you know who can probably answer your question the best? You. Perhaps there is something triggering you on a subconscious level, or maybe SI-ing has just become something of a habitual routine… What are your thoughts?

[its_just_me]

thanks for answering.

as far as what i think, i'm really very confused with this whole thing. i've been si-ing for almost a year and already its gotten to be a big part of my life.

i've tried to stop, but am indecisive about whether or not i actually will. part of me really wants to stop, but i think i'm afraid of losing it. maybe i'm triggering myself by feeling bad about my indecision.

does that make any sense?

[Space_Man]

part of me really wants to stop, but i think i'm afraid of losing it. maybe i'm triggering myself by feeling bad about my indecision.

Well, after a year, I would imagine that SI-ing may well have become a rather engrained thing for you (imagine a smoker and their cigarettes). Do you find yourself going through any sort of self-chastisement about your indecisiveness prior to SI-ing? Or do you just suddenly find yourself wanting to SI for no particular reason?

[its_just_me]

Do you find yourself going through any sort of self-chastisement about your indecisiveness prior to SI-ing? Or do you just suddenly find yourself wanting to SI for no particular reason?[/quote]


I think i do sometimes get stuck in thinking that I'm to weak, or stupid to figure out what i really want. So along with not figuring out a 'better way to deal' I can't even figure out for myself if i even want that much.

[Space_Man]

But at least a part of you realizes that SI-ing isn't the best way to deal with things...and there's a lot to be said for that...

[limestone]

would it be possible to just go a bit crazy here. to just say to hell with it.
i'm going to do it.
i might be uncomfortable and scared but maybe, just maybe i can live the choice of not hurting myself.

try it just for a day.

then the second day.

then when you get to 7 days put a sticker somewhere visable and start again: try it for a day. then the second day. then when you get to 14 days go shopping and find something under £5 and buy it for yourself.

then try it for another day. then the third day.

when you get to the third week pick a friend/family memeber and go out for the day: where are you going to go?

then try it for the next day. watch how you get to the fifth day. but quietly. when you get to four weeks think of something you've always wanted to do but are too scared.

if you can't think of anything then you could choose to really commit to living without si. only this time, you'll have more faith that it is worth doing and fighting for.

then to mark that decision go and have fun. !!! anything, it's your path now. you get to choose: because you are always choosing. always.

[Space_Man]

Limestone: Great suggestion, and this…

you get to choose: because you are always choosing. always.

…is a great reminder; we are so rarely—if ever—powerless to make choices for ourselves…

Wonderful post!

[heartonmysleave]

there are lots of different ideas about this. theres one theory that SI is addictive because your body releases a happy chemical when you get hurt, which is a form of natural opium, so it makes you want to SI more. or you could have just missed a trigger.