Telling people you were/are depressed

[Dungeon_Lilly]

How do you explain to people that you were depressed? I don't really like talking about it to people but recently I've felt that I might start needing to explain it. When I was at college (01-04) depression hit me really hard especially in my second and third year. As a result of this my grades suffered badly to the point where I've been afraid to send off for my certificate from last year because i'm so worried that I failed. So far I haven't had to explain my grades to anyone but I know I soon will. So how do you tell someone that you were depressed? especially as I don't declare having (or having had) mental health problems on application forms. Any ideas onb how I could explain this without looking lazy or stupid would be great.

[bellaclare]

I always knew I had depression--both of my parents have been treated for it as well as a sister. But I guess I was stubborn and wouldn't admit it and just dealt with it on my own (hence the SI). I finally had to go see a counselor after my ex's suicide, and that's where I got diagnosed--I never even mentioned it. Also, I've never put it on application forms, just because I don't think it's anyone's business but my own, so I wouldn't worry about that too much.

Is there a counselor you know of that you could go to? My experience has been that counselors/psychologists validate depression as an illness to help you deal with it, and understand how detrimental it can be to everyday life. Having a clinical explanation might help if the subject ever comes up, even though the grades are in the past.

I hope this makes sense and is somewhat useful, somehow. Good luck!

[mallie]

I guess it depends who you're needing to explain it to. If it is for school/work people, that would be very different to trying to explain it to friends or family.

Is it possible to just say that you were going through a tough time personally and this affected your results? I found that to be enough, especially when previous and later results were significantly better - that showed that I was capable of things generally, even if it wasn't always possible.

[Kaylee73]

I know this won't help too much....just wanted to let you know that there are others in the same boat as you.

I remember little of my junior - senior years of college because of depression. I'm not sure how I passed my classes, although my transcripts tell me that I repeated them a few times.

My grades were too poor to get the top jobs, but my field (microbiology, at the time) was desperate for entry-level technicians. I worked as a tech until I got a few publications under my belt then slowly worked my way up by moving to different companies. Each company gave me a raise as I transferred. After awhile I had so many publications that my grades didn't really matter. I was recently accepted to med school, but decided not to go because of anxiety. The point is that there are ways around poor grades.

As far as those forms go...as long as your job doesn't hinge on having a certain mental state, you can be honest or just choose not to answer. In the States, it's illegal to ask about previous illnesses during a job interview. Although they might ask about your grades. You can choose to tell the truth, or you can just say that you went through a tough time. It depends on how comfortable you are talking to strangers about it.

When I was asked I just told my future employers that I was just going through a tough time and left it at that.

[collide]

how do you tell someone/or others that your are depressed?

well, i think some ppl said already asked the question like who are u wanting to tell? family? friends? college? job?

for me, unless it's a really close friend i can tell them i am depressed, because i've been diagnosed already and been in and out of hospitals...i was hospitalized my junior year while at UC Berkeley...my sorority sisters were so supportive, and that was the first time my family found out...i was cutting basically and had suicidal thoughts...but for me college was the time of my life and i was so busy doing so many things that i actually graduated with honors in psychology...but lately though i have pretty much done very well in jobs i've held (mainly helping kids-as an Inst Asst/Tutor, etc autism, Aperger's Syndrome, ADD/ADHD, Special Ed)...i've also been in and out of hospitals so many times because of later being diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, and later after a rape in 2000 by a landlord Post Traumatic Stress Disorder....

so i guess....job wise...if i miss some days (i lie and say i was just sick, i give them the note if i have too..but i don't say anything that i was in a psych hospital)...and interview wise...i never say anything that i been in psych hospitals.....classes- same thing...( i lie and say i was just sick, and give them a doc note but it doesn't really say that i was in a psych hospital)...

so anyways, hope that helps....

[Dungeon_Lilly]

Thanks for the replys
It's mainly potential employers asking about my bad grades i'm worried about but I also wanted to tell someone at the recruitment company i'm at atm. I think if anyone asks (hopefuly they wont) i'll just say I had some problems when I was at college.

[pretty]

I always say something vague about personal problems, or personal issues, or personal complications when I'm explaining my various academic mess ups. People tend to leave it at that, certainly no one has ever asked me any questions.