heh

[ursula]

heh

[pointeless]

I know what you mean about feeling a fake. My SI has warrented stitches afew times, but on the main would be classed as superficial. I often feel like, that's nothing - why does it need help, It's just like bleeding scratches, can I really be doing this for attention without conciously realising it??!! etc...
it took me a while and alot of help from my best friend to realise that just because other people harm to a more significant level than you, it doesn't mean your pain isn't as genuine or real as there's. It's all about coping mechanisms and to what degree you are able to cope with the feelings your experiencing.
the people who like you, like you for who you are, and that isn't supidity on there part, depression can sometimes cloud a persons view of their worth, but trust in the affection of those who care about you as best you can, they can see in you things you may not be able to see yourself.
I'm afraid I don't really have much useful advice to lend, all I can say is I read your post, I care, and I relate to some of what you've said..
Take care of yourself...

[SxcJulz4eva]

yea... i used to think everything i did was just "scratches" but when i made myself bleed alot and cudnt type i realised i needed to cool it a bit...

[silvertears]

OH YES... I understand. I want help, but do I want to stop? no...
I want the pain to go away, but how?

I too feel that I can't really call myself a cutter, although i do b/c its what I do. The reason why is b/c I can go through a week and not even feel like cutting. But the in the next week I'll cut myself [number edited - mallie] times. then at some points its not that bad. It all depends on the day, my mood, hey maybe even what side of the bed I get out on.
And I know what you mean about people likeing you b/c I have had friends ( have had b/c I don't have any now!!!!!) and I have had to prove taht they didn't care about me as much as they say they did. In turn destroying the friendship. Now I'm left alone. Don't do that, if you can help it.
If ya want to talk just pm me, or email or im what ever! We have a lot in commin!

[ksrli]

I know exactly how you feel about the whole being fake thing. I never thought that the cuts I did were very deep. I always though that I was weak and that if I wanted to cut so bad I should cut deeper and I kept telling myslef that until I cut so deep I couldn't stop the bleeding. So hun every cut is worth something. You are deinently not fake. You 're just confused. And don't let go of your friends and family they will be there to help you when you are ready to stop.