hey all.
i'm currently in India on an internship. things are... well, i'm on a downward slope, for some reasons and just because. i'm here for another two and a half months, i don't want to cut because i don't have anything to do it with and i dont want to get diseases and die here.
i suppose i was just wondering - what could i do, other than hit myself. i can't talk to my family, my friends back at home would hardly understand or be able to help over email, and i'm out here with two cool girls who are very nice but i've known for little over two weeks. i'm feeling very alone, and i cant see many options. i'm also at work 10-6 every day, including alternate saturdays, where the work is very on-off at the moment.
any ideas?
ideas for coping whilst in a foreign country
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demidivine
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Miss_Panda
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Take a walk around.Look at all the scenery. Imagine that you'll be home soon, and you'll be able to talk to friends who CAN help you.
PM if you need to chat.
Lisa
xxx
PM if you need to chat.
Lisa
xxx
Make up your own ending~let me know just how you feel.
When she's asleep, the air she breathing is
For you are why she wants to live
Zombie Miss_Panda
When she's asleep, the air she breathing is
For you are why she wants to live
Zombie Miss_Panda
sometimes i like being in a new place -- i make new friends right away, and since they don't know all about my past, i can be "normal" in their eyes. that lets me be "normal" with myself, too. in a new place, i try to enjoy the superficial friendships i make -- not everyone has to be a bosom buddy!
make new friends and keep the old,
one is silver and the other's gold,
and all that
i move a lot, too, though, and the first few months in a new place tend to be alternately wonderful and horrible. (as my t says, transitions are the easiest place to lose your balance.) i try to just relax and remind myself that nothing's "real" (feelings-wise) in a new place until i've been there for a while. not sure that'll work for you, but it's a way to look at things.
funnily, the longest i've ever gone without any si -- without even thinking of it or needing it! -- was when i was travelling, backpacking for a year... i'll try to think about why. it had to do with relaxing, and spending time alone, and something about not worrying about the future. not sure -- wish i could find that mind-space again.
good luck!
-lycander
make new friends and keep the old,
one is silver and the other's gold,
and all that
i move a lot, too, though, and the first few months in a new place tend to be alternately wonderful and horrible. (as my t says, transitions are the easiest place to lose your balance.) i try to just relax and remind myself that nothing's "real" (feelings-wise) in a new place until i've been there for a while. not sure that'll work for you, but it's a way to look at things.
funnily, the longest i've ever gone without any si -- without even thinking of it or needing it! -- was when i was travelling, backpacking for a year... i'll try to think about why. it had to do with relaxing, and spending time alone, and something about not worrying about the future. not sure -- wish i could find that mind-space again.
good luck!
-lycander
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Tamrick
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Maybe use a travel journal - you could even get an interactive one where you get people you meet to write in it and they could put encouraging stuff in or just things about the places they like there.
Try chat to your new friends a lot too. There should be a lot you could ask could you hardly know them. Do email friends at home, but rather tell them about the place you are in (more as a distraction then for support) and stay on BUS.
Hang in there. You can do it and when you do you know you can survive well cause travelling is hard and a big challenge. It can be lonely but you will make it.
*hugs*
Tamrick
Try chat to your new friends a lot too. There should be a lot you could ask could you hardly know them. Do email friends at home, but rather tell them about the place you are in (more as a distraction then for support) and stay on BUS.
Hang in there. You can do it and when you do you know you can survive well cause travelling is hard and a big challenge. It can be lonely but you will make it.
*hugs*
Tamrick
“A Sunrise is God's way of saying, "Let's start again.”
― Todd Stocker
― Todd Stocker
hey there. i was in India just recently.
also, long distance calls are not too expensive. where in India are you? in Calcutta, there is a chain of internet/telecommunications places called IWay, which have broadband and really low rates for calls to the UK (3 to 5 rupees per minute i think, which is less than phoning a UK mobile from a BT landline in the UK. go figure.)
can you try talking to the two girls?
something i found that helped while i was out there was keeping busy and staying out of the flat during the day time. if i stayed in and got lonely, i was likely to start feeling depressed. if i stayed out i often found that i could get swept up in exploring and that helped a bit. i was out there doing volunteer work, and would often go in for extra time if i didn't have anythign else to do, because i loved being with the kids i was working with, and also loved feeling that i was doing something useful and that i was appreaciated. maybe you could try to find something to do on Sundays or something?
take care. feel free to PM me if you want to.
mage
internet is pretty cheap, and most internet places have IM software (Yahoo seems ubiquitous). can you IM with your friends?my friends back at home would hardly understand or be able to help over email
also, long distance calls are not too expensive. where in India are you? in Calcutta, there is a chain of internet/telecommunications places called IWay, which have broadband and really low rates for calls to the UK (3 to 5 rupees per minute i think, which is less than phoning a UK mobile from a BT landline in the UK. go figure.)
can you try talking to the two girls?
something i found that helped while i was out there was keeping busy and staying out of the flat during the day time. if i stayed in and got lonely, i was likely to start feeling depressed. if i stayed out i often found that i could get swept up in exploring and that helped a bit. i was out there doing volunteer work, and would often go in for extra time if i didn't have anythign else to do, because i loved being with the kids i was working with, and also loved feeling that i was doing something useful and that i was appreaciated. maybe you could try to find something to do on Sundays or something?
take care. feel free to PM me if you want to.
mage
"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." -- Vincent Van Gogh
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
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demidivine
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hey all, thanks for the help.
for clarification, i'm working in Delhi on an environmental magazine. I'm in the office from 10-6, Mon-Sat, so exploration is limited... I've decided I'm leaving a week early, so I get to travel, so in two months I'll have some time off. I know I'm not going to be an environmental journalist, but the experience is fantastic and different from anything else I've tried - but its still tough (being underestimated, working in a very confused and unorganised office is highly frustrating, etc. etc.) If I was working in an orphanage or something like last summer, it would be a lot easier, I think. And I like making a different country home - starting again and all that, and the fact I don't have a home in the UK. but i'm still feeling displaced.
but i think i need to find something concrete that i have here, to do, like if i was in an office job at home. thinking of "home" wont work - i dont want to be there. i just feel disjointed out here. and with two and a half months of work ahead, i need to find something permanent and long-term to cope with. any ideas? i'm sorry for being so demanding.
for clarification, i'm working in Delhi on an environmental magazine. I'm in the office from 10-6, Mon-Sat, so exploration is limited... I've decided I'm leaving a week early, so I get to travel, so in two months I'll have some time off. I know I'm not going to be an environmental journalist, but the experience is fantastic and different from anything else I've tried - but its still tough (being underestimated, working in a very confused and unorganised office is highly frustrating, etc. etc.) If I was working in an orphanage or something like last summer, it would be a lot easier, I think. And I like making a different country home - starting again and all that, and the fact I don't have a home in the UK. but i'm still feeling displaced.
but i think i need to find something concrete that i have here, to do, like if i was in an office job at home. thinking of "home" wont work - i dont want to be there. i just feel disjointed out here. and with two and a half months of work ahead, i need to find something permanent and long-term to cope with. any ideas? i'm sorry for being so demanding.
my experience was that pretty much all of India is like that. yeah, it can be really frustrating. what helped a lot was finding a couple of people who were really fun, likeable people, and we´d go out for a meal or something and just have a vent/laugh about all the things that ought to be simple and efficient but turn out to be incredibly complicated and chaotic. on days when i was really frustrated, that helped me a lot to see past the ineffiency and disorder to the good part of the work i was doing and the stuff i really love about India.very confused and unorganised
i know the feeling. find a group to hang out with helped me a lot, and made me feel like i belonged a bit more. you don´t have to be close to be able to have a good evening out.And I like making a different country home - starting again and all that, and the fact I don't have a home in the UK. but i'm still feeling displaced.
the other thing that helped me was getting to know the places were i was working -- where the good restaurants were, the best places to get chai, the markets, etc.
by "exploring" i didn´t mean major expeditions, just knowing the area aroudn where you live and work. it helped me feel much more confident.
i wish i could help more. take care. i hope things get better soon.
mage
"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." -- Vincent Van Gogh
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
what about the ideas already given? have you been using those?i need to find something permanent and long-term to cope with. any ideas?
it sounds... almost like you're looking for *one* thing that will work as quickly & easily & 'cover-all-ish' as si... & really i dunno if you're going to find that
journaling & wandering around to check out the area & making new friends... could be long-term & permanent... none of those ideas is something you'd only be able to do *once*...
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demidivine
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hon, i really do know the feeling.
it´s always easier to believe in concrete solutions or quick fixes. it doesn´t sound demanding, just an understandable wish. we all want there to be an easier solution. but it´s always ok to ask for brainstorming.
i hope you find something that does help and that things get better for you soon.
feel free to PM me anytimes.
take care,
mage
it´s always easier to believe in concrete solutions or quick fixes. it doesn´t sound demanding, just an understandable wish. we all want there to be an easier solution. but it´s always ok to ask for brainstorming.
i hope you find something that does help and that things get better for you soon.
feel free to PM me anytimes.
take care,
mage
"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." -- Vincent Van Gogh
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
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PassingCloud
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hiya, i'm a travelling girl, so i have been abroad a lot, in lots of different countries. well, at least most people in india will speak your language, eh?
things that have helped me are things people already mentioned: talking to a bunch of people, getting them to go out for dinner, or movies, or the market. maybe there's a gym or a basketball place or something similar where you can work out with friends or aquaintances after work (sorry, i have no clue how delhi looks like, but it'S a fairly big city, so they might have that?)? that'd give you something to do and spend all your energies. i'd also write a bunch of letters and emails and postcards to send home, but that usually made me homesick. stuff that also helped was reading - i read a LOT. books that i already knew, new books, stuff that made me feel comfy. i am a bookish person - so books really help me feel connected again. it might be similar with you?
maybe you could start a little get-together with other nice people there - with dinner or lunch every sunday and every sunday somebody else should cook, kinda start a new tradition, talk about the things you've discovered about india.
uhh... i can't come up with more atm. i remember during my worst times my trips abroad (wherever abroad was) were really stressful and confusing. hang in there, you've got some time to get used to things, and that DOES take time! try to lay back a little, enjoy the new scenery. and keep busy telling us all about it, coz really, india sounds interesting, i don't know the slightest thing about it.
take care.
-c.
things that have helped me are things people already mentioned: talking to a bunch of people, getting them to go out for dinner, or movies, or the market. maybe there's a gym or a basketball place or something similar where you can work out with friends or aquaintances after work (sorry, i have no clue how delhi looks like, but it'S a fairly big city, so they might have that?)? that'd give you something to do and spend all your energies. i'd also write a bunch of letters and emails and postcards to send home, but that usually made me homesick. stuff that also helped was reading - i read a LOT. books that i already knew, new books, stuff that made me feel comfy. i am a bookish person - so books really help me feel connected again. it might be similar with you?
maybe you could start a little get-together with other nice people there - with dinner or lunch every sunday and every sunday somebody else should cook, kinda start a new tradition, talk about the things you've discovered about india.
uhh... i can't come up with more atm. i remember during my worst times my trips abroad (wherever abroad was) were really stressful and confusing. hang in there, you've got some time to get used to things, and that DOES take time! try to lay back a little, enjoy the new scenery. and keep busy telling us all about it, coz really, india sounds interesting, i don't know the slightest thing about it.
take care.
-c.
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demidivine
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thanks. i'm sorry for being a poo about this. and thank you for all your suggestions. and yes, passingcloud, people here do speak english, but unfortunately it's Indi-glish, mostly... the college students I've met are cool, too, but they have a very different mentality to english ones. i'm getting to know them, though.
reading- you're right. i'm going to the bookstore after work, to spend a lot of money. this country is saturated with Paulo Coelho and Hemingway, though, one of which i don't like and the second I've read, but i'm sure i can find something else... i'm also going to join a gym, i think, with a swimming pool, so i can get fit as well as try to do something about my joints syndrome, which is playing up in the heat and the stress i put on them.
thank you all, again, i'll keep you posted...
reading- you're right. i'm going to the bookstore after work, to spend a lot of money. this country is saturated with Paulo Coelho and Hemingway, though, one of which i don't like and the second I've read, but i'm sure i can find something else... i'm also going to join a gym, i think, with a swimming pool, so i can get fit as well as try to do something about my joints syndrome, which is playing up in the heat and the stress i put on them.
thank you all, again, i'll keep you posted...
It's hard to be away from everything and everyone you know. I'm sure India was quite a culture-shock. I'm sorry you're having a rough time.
When I lived abroad, I kept a journal and read guidebooks all the time, so that I could appreciate where I was. At the same time, I think it's inevitable to feel sort of...lost...in a new place, so maybe you could surround yourself with the familiar? Not things from "home" per se, since you don't want to be reminded of home, but just things that have always made you happy. Books are good, or DVDs, or the soap and shampoo you've used for a long time. Familiar things helped me feel grounded and less adrift.
When I lived abroad, I kept a journal and read guidebooks all the time, so that I could appreciate where I was. At the same time, I think it's inevitable to feel sort of...lost...in a new place, so maybe you could surround yourself with the familiar? Not things from "home" per se, since you don't want to be reminded of home, but just things that have always made you happy. Books are good, or DVDs, or the soap and shampoo you've used for a long time. Familiar things helped me feel grounded and less adrift.
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