My Abuse (*sexual abuse*)

[broken_words]

PLEASE DO NOT REPLY IF IT'S A HARSH STATEMENT I AM VERY VERY VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT THIS SUBJECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I was molested in 1st grade...by a girl, one of my "bestfriends" at the time (she was older)....i never really told anyone...and this is like the the third time i've told anyone...now i'm telling the whole world on bus...i feel dirty..and wrong...b/c it was another girl...now i push other girls away and rarely hang out with them...i say it's b/ci don't like the drama, but it's b/c i dont trust them. I just told the second person this week end i told a friend who is a girl who i love dearly and she was SOOOOOOOOO supportive, and i'm thankful!!! So now i just want to know if anyone else has been abused by the same sex in a sexual way...and if i'm wrong, if i'm dirty, how i can trust girls...
I don't even know what to ask...i've been pretending it never happened for like .... 10 years or 11 or something like that!!

[zani]

Well done for telling someone else but more so for allowing yourself to trust another girl enough to tell her. This is REALLY important; you are NOT dirty or wrong for what happened to you, even though you may feel this way. I tell myself that the 'act' was dirty and wrong and that my emotion has gotten confused and made me feel that way instead. Therefore transferring the bad feeling/ emotion out towards what happened instead of inwards towards me. There are thousands of females who can be trusted and strong friendships be made with, try to leave the negative distrust with that one girl who betrayed you and your trust and take each person you meet (male and female) as they are and take it from there. Hope not harsh, please take softly.

Sending a smile if hugs are too much.