how?

[BrokenGurl]

How do you learn to cope in ways that aren't self-destructive? its so hard to try to cope in other ways because youve done it for so long that this is all you know..I must be crazy.....

[falling...]

You are not crazy. SI does not make anyone crazy. Its difficult to find new ways, but people have and do stop so... it must be possible. keep trying, never give up
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Israeli Forum

[jenpov]

I feel like it's hard to find another way to cope too. My problem is that when all the feelings, thoughts, and people's words jumble in my head, I can't stop feeling overwhelmed and out of control, I burn myself. My therapist suggested "thought stopping" where I physically say "stop" or you even imagine a calm, safe place. Well, that doesn't work for me. My obsessive thoughts are too numerous and overwhelming to stop right then and there.
My cousin just recently told me "live one day at a time". And I've really tried practicing that. If I get anxious, I tell myself "I just have to get through this day" and when I wake up, I say "today is a new day". I try not to look back on what I've done, like if I had a bad day and SI'd or not.
Hope that helps.

[limestone]

How do you learn to cope in ways that aren't self-destructive? its so hard to try to cope in other ways because youve done it for so long that this is all you know..I must be crazy.....

imo, you could decide to say today I will not si. then when you feel like si'ing you remember your decision and then you go and do something else. it is so much easier when you are clear about whether or not you will be si'ing or not. because if you're not, then you have to cope in other ways, there's no talking, no uming about, you just get on with and do something else. it becomes second nature to just find other things to do. the problem with si being 'addictive' is that it is only so because you keep allowing the si to be an option. once it's not an option, things are not easier, but it's clearer what you have to do.