Confussed and Lost

[unholyconfessions]

I will never understand why society is so afraid to talk about people who are SIs. It really upsets me b/c i am a SI and its hard for me to find places where i can talk to someone that understands what i am going thru or that at least can relate to how i feel even tho i may not always know how i feel.
I want to know why i am this way? i still dont know the full reason on why i feel the way i feel. I've read so much about "Cutter", Self-harm, SI's but none of it can really explain what it is or why people do it. they are steriotypical of people that do it. I havent cut myself for while now, but i always have the urge to pick up something sharp and release my pain, even tho i dont even know what i am hurting from.
I'm diagnosed to being bipolar, what the hell is that supposed to mean? that doesnt solve my problem or answer any of my questions. I'm soo confused and lost that its unreal. i dont really know why i am posting this. Who knows, maybe someone will understand and can tell me what i want to say or mean?

[kate_]

i'm sorry about this stuff...it frustrates me too. i don't have the answers though...but i've found that most people who have never self injured are scared of self injury...it kind of makes sense in a way, i know before i began SI'ing, i didn't understand why people would be physically violent and destructive towards themselves..i didn't understand the release it provided. it is frustrating, but i've come to accept that people are afraid of the unknown...sorry i couldn't be more help and give you answers, just want you to know that i can relate

[Tamrick]

I don't think SI is the best way to cope and that may be why people don't like to talk about it same as they don't talk so much about drug addicts or alcoholics. And yes there is fear involved. It is a very scary thing that someone cuts themselves (which is against human instinct) in order to cope.
BUS board is a good place to talk to people who SI as they have been through some of what you are going through.
Finding out why you are the way you are can be very hard. You need to start with who you are - what makes you tick, what are your likes and dislikes, what do you do and what do you want and so on.
Then you sort out what happened to you when you were younger and why you can't cope anymore in a more "normal" (by societies standards) way.
When you have done that you figure out who you would like to be and then how to achieve that.

It sounds easy and its NOT. Its good to be in therapy so you can look at these things. In the meantime keep chatting to people on here.

Welcome to the board. I hope you can figure out some of what you'd like to know.

Tamrick