Scheduling 'enjoyable' activities?

[mallie]

I saw my pdoc today, and he suggested that I should schedule some positive, enjoyable activities in my day. That this is a common strategy used with depression.

I'm skeptical of it being useful, because right now, nearly nothing is enjoyable for me, so it would be using things that "should" be fun, or have in the past been enjoyable, or that could potentially be. Trying to schedule something enjoyable would, I think, make it feel like a chore. List off things for the day, do the washing, sweep the floor, make dinner, *insert "fun" thing*.

I was wondering if anyone else has done this kind of thing, and how useful they've found it. I've got nothing to lose in trying it, but to be honest, I really don't like the idea.

[Invisible_tears]

Hi mallie, I can't give you any advice personally, but your situation reminds me a lot of my aunt's. She's been depressed for some time now, but I saw her today, and she's definitely been steadily improving the last few weeks. I remember asking her a few months ago, when she'd started volunteering at a school, helping kids to read, if she was enjoying it, and she said to me that she didn't enjoy anything at the moment, but she felt it was a good thing to do, and must be doing her good as well. She's had to stop working because of the depression, and feels that it's important to keep busy. She's said the last few times that there were moments when she did enjoy it, and she's said the same about a choir she goes to. I think she's found that even if for a while it seems pointless to be doing this thing that's supposed to be making you feel better because it isn't, if you keep up with it, you might start to enjoy it eventually - and that's got to be a step in the right direction.
One thing though, she doesn't like doing old favourite things (like old favourite walks) becasue she doesn;t want them 'spoiled' by the way she's feeling. Like, she doesn't want to look back when she's better and have the things she enjoys marred by reminding her of the depression. So a lot of the things she's doing are new, and maybe that would work for you? Instead of trying to do things which you know you used to enjoy, and getting upset becasue you don't enjoy them anymore, why not try something new which you think you might enjoy (if not now, then at some point in the future).
I don't know whether any of this is going to be helpful for you - whatever you do, I hope it works out for you, take care of yourself honey, *hugs* if ok.

[limestone]

I like the previous suggestion of doing something different that is enjoyable.

Have you tried making an emergency scrap book? You could be creative and I find it fun.

I can see why you're not keen i think. because doing something fun won't deal with the rest of what is wrong.

not sure what to suggest: what's your gut feeling?

[mallie]

Invisible tears, doing different things sounds like a good idea compared to old things that should be enjoyable. I'd just have to think of some ideas.

Limestone, I haven't made an emergency scrapbook. I'm not entirely sure what you mean... do you mean with things that could help when things get tough, like photos and stories and coping things? or something diferent ?


My gut feeling is that if I try to make myself do things I "should" enjoy, that I won't. It feels like a futile exercise to try, but apart from my biased view that it won't work, I don't have any real reason not to try it. If its a matter of forcing myself to do things, I'd rather it be something useful than something frivolous. I don't feel like 'fun' should be a priority. There are more important things that I'm struggling with. To be told to invest energy I don't have into enjoyable things over productive ones realy doesn't sit right with me.

[limestone]

Limestone, I haven't made an emergency scrapbook. I'm not entirely sure what you mean... do you mean with things that could help when things get tough, like photos and stories and coping things? or something diferent ? .

kind of. things like greetings cards when they have good pictures/art images on, tactile things, jokes, quotes, poems, lyrics, etc. just let your imagination run riot to create a safe place and encouraging you to not give up.

if you did something constructive rather than fun e.g . a short computer course or gardening or a craft - something that is managable but will allow you to escape providing an element of fun. would that work?

[mallie]

kind of. things like greetings cards when they have good pictures/art images on, tactile things, jokes, quotes, poems, lyrics, etc. just let your imagination run riot to create a safe place and encouraging you to not give up.

Sounds worth having a go at. I don't have much art & craft type stuff here, but when I get home I might try and set that up.

if you did something constructive rather than fun e.g . a short computer course or gardening or a craft - something that is managable but will allow you to escape providing an element of fun. would that work?

That sounds like a good idea. I'll have to look at what is available. When I talk about being productive, I mean useful like with study or work or things that need doing like cleaning and such. Creating or learning something needed or particularly useful would be good.

But I'm being told I should focus on enjoyment not productivity. I'll give it a try, but I honestly don't think it will work. I resent the implication from my pdoc that I just need to try more to get past this depression.

[limestone]

..But I'm being told I should focus on enjoyment not productivity. I'll give it a try, but I honestly don't think it will work. I resent the implication from my pdoc that I just need to try more to get past this depression.

i can relate to ^^ . I remember being told to do an activity that I used to enjoy and it was an absolute disaster. It's strange as although there is definitely a need to be pro-active with depression to avoid it taking over your life, you do need or rather, one needs imo, to have a bit of space just to be. just to let everything stop racing and just breathe a bit. If you try and do things that aren't in line with how you feel then it's a bit pointless and less likely to work. So, maybe, if you gave yourself 2 weeks off, from everything. just leave everything that people have said to you 'to do' and all the ideas of what you feel you 'should do' and just allow yourself freedom. By having a time limit you're not saying 'i'm giving up' or disappearing from life; but more just having a break but on your terms without it taking over the things you feel you 'should do'.

because that's why i reckon your pdoc has suggested you do fun things to avoid depression sucking all the life out of you. but that is a very black and white thing to do and say. depression is not simply a sign that you're not happy or not having enough fun, but is there for a reason. it's like a screaming child who has been screaming for a very long time and now the screaming has turned into this almighty yell that explodes and refuses to stop. It's refusing because it's gone beyond the stage where you can resonably help or think of things to do or say to help calm this trouble.

so if you look beyond the logic and reason and recognise that how you're feeling holds a personal and important message for you to find: it now becomes your job to be receptive to it. it's like you have to side step reason to find the way out and way forward. you can't sooth this unceasing yelling if you're not listening to it as whatever you do will not be in line with what it's been trying to say.

the problem with doing this is that in order to be receptive you have to suspend your barriers about what you think you should be and do. because part of the cause of this yelling is not being true to yourself and that implies imo needing to find the courage to do what the yelling is asking you to do.

to find that courage will not come in the form of tablets or recommended 'fun' but finding your own way. that is what is missing in the treatment of depression: realising that your depression means something different to anothers. and finding a way out is going to be different although there may be similarties, it will still be different.

so, don't worry what people say to you. (don't not listen, but put a bit of distance between their discourse and what you have to do for yourself) get a piece of paper or stand in the garden and brainstorm or just be. just notice everything you can see and hear and take it from there. if you think of something you'd like to do or should have done note it, but then let it go. let it all go. allow yourself to renew and revolutionise how you experience the world and yourself. be open to discovery away from but partly guided by others. basically develop or restart your inner self-belief in knowing what is right for you and what is not right. so that you can trust yourself more and then be able to create a life where you get to call the shots, not some pdoc who hardly knows you and what makes you tick.

[beachgirl]

But I'm being told I should focus on enjoyment not productivity. I'll give it a try, but I honestly don't think it will work. I resent the implication from my pdoc that I just need to try more to get past this depression.

I don't want to seem like I am arguing with you because I really do hear what you are saying and it sounds very frustrating. But, it sounds to me like your doctor is encouraging you to try some of the techniques used in cognitive behavior therapy. The theory of that is that you do the action and the feelings and emotions will follow. I don't believe that it is all quite that cut and dried, but it might be worth a shot. If it brings you a bit of respite from the depression, then it will have been a worthwhile thing to do.

And, do you think your doctor would like for you to rest and give yourself time to heal instead of having to be productive? I know that is a really hard concept (at least it is for me), but just taking a break from things like Limestone suggested might really help. And, I also agree with the idea of finding different things to do. I know that it doesn't help to try the things that I enjoy when I am not depressed; those are simply beyond me. If you enjoy it, then it could be more useful, such as learning something new or even cleaning the kitchen until it shines. During the depths of my depression, finding a simple task and completing it well brings me a great deal of pleasure. (I confess that I like to iron for the instant gratification of it.)

(((Hugs)))
Susie

[NobodyToYou]

I can understand your reluctance to "force" yourself to put fun on the to do list...I don't know that it would work that well for me either. However, you might need to put "do something to take care of self" on the to do list. That is important enough, because it effects your productivity in every other area.
I don't think your T is really saying try harder...I think he is saying try something else. What you have been doing isn't working so well. My T actually told me I try too hard and that I need to stop trying so much...because anythign I try to make myself do tends to feed into the depression. I have had to learn to let myself be lazy sometimes, and it has been hard. But it does help...at least so far. I am not through yet...
Maybe try doing one "fun" activity each day for five days. Before you start, rate your overall happiness for the past 3 days...1 being very very unhappy, 10 being very very happy. Then each day, before bed, rate how that day has been...if the numbers seem to have improved at the end of 5 days, you can keep doing it. If not, take it to your T and you can talk about why it didn't work.
One other thing that might help...instead of letting the fun become too scheduled (sometimes fun needs to be unplanned) maybe just block out a certain time of day. Then make a list of "fun" activites, cut them apart and put them in a jar. Pull one out at the set time and do that...unless you like another one better. Then there is still some element of surprise and unplannedness.
I dont' know if any of this will actually help...I was really just thinking out loud. Hope you can find something that works for you.

[PassingCloud]

you know, i do plan little happy things, like lately when i am feeling very su or like hurting myself. i plan to go out and buy a book for myself, and imagine it all in my head, see the books i am going to find, see myself browsing around the bookstore, looking at all the beautiful book covers, disovering new authors i like, then going home with the book in my bag, able to touch it and read it and then being able to place it among its bookmates in my bookshelves.
usually thinking about just that makes life a little easier for me....