Things Left Unsaid *LA*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Dungeon_Lilly
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Post by Dungeon_Lilly » Thu Apr 21, 2005 8:55 pm

I don't know if i'm doing the right thing :-?
<center>

I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality

:tslug:

:dkpurpstar: :purpstar: :lpurpstar:

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balletomane
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Post by balletomane » Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:42 pm

i don't know how i can ever repay you.

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balletomane
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Post by balletomane » Sat Apr 23, 2005 11:23 pm

e- don't fucking talk to me. what do you think i meant when i said i wanted space? but then again, you never could respect anyone's wishes, property, homes, space, privacy, right, etc, etc.

d- are you okay? really? i need you to tell me when you are not. i can handle it. i promise. and about the 'hug' thing. i'm sorry. it is in no way a reflection on you. i just really can't stand hearing that right now.

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magebaby
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Post by magebaby » Sun Apr 24, 2005 2:31 pm

i'm really really scared. i think i should get out of your life. i'm hurting you, i will hurt you. i don't mean to, i don't want to. i love you. but it's not fair on you if i stay. i don't want you to think it's a problem with you, though.

when you hold me i feel so safe and loved and clean. i don't deserve to feel that way. i'm so selfish.

--

fuck off. i don't want your hugs. i don't want to be with you and i don't want to hear you say you miss me.

--

can i talk to you? i trust you. you say that you care about me, and i believe that. but you're always so busy and i want to go to you but i don't know if you're ok with that or if you just can't handle all this stuff right now.

--

please help? i'm really hurting.

--
mage
"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." -- Vincent Van Gogh

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela

No hugs, thanks

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Everybody_Else's_Girl
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Post by Everybody_Else's_Girl » Sun Apr 24, 2005 3:43 pm

S and E- last night i put the newspapers there hoping that you would pick them up and ask why i had so many of the same issue. i wanted so desperately to tell you i had written the editorial so that you could read it and i wouldn't feel so alone and misunderstood. i put them right in front of your face, why didn't you ask?

T- i'm sorry. i wanted to si so badly last night, and i didn't think calling would help. all i wanted was someone big and safe to hold me, and i don't think i can get that from the phone. i did think about calling before i did anything though. :(

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amyfairy
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Post by amyfairy » Sun Apr 24, 2005 4:56 pm

i feel fat.

and it was ME who trashed the private study room! because you authority figures at that school make me SO mad. and it was so unlike me, you'll never suspect me.

whatever.

angelwithapintglass
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Post by angelwithapintglass » Sun Apr 24, 2005 10:10 pm

major *LA*

look at me in that way again and i'll scream. you're my FRIEND, you're meant to allow me to be pissed off every now and then and allow me to fucking YELL. i should be allowed breathing space. i should be allowed to say "i'm fucking FINE!" when you've said "smile!" for the fiftieth fucking time for NO FUCKING REASON!
i am ALLOWED to tell you to stop & that i'm mad at you when you're saying something that's making me FUCKING LIVID and i SHOULD NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT!!
i shouldnt have to be down & out and wanting to die before someone sits next to me and sympathises. thats not fucking right. you are my friend. you ask me whats wrong, but i feel like if i ever say "i'm really pissed off" "i'm really upset" or "i'm really stressed" you'll just fucking belittle me.
there's nothing wrong with me, i actually am fine, but those few moments where i have to excuse my shortness with "i'm just really tired" or apologise for everything slightly out of place because you're looking at me WITH THAT FUCKING FACE AGAIN really grate on me.
dont look at me like you have power over me. fuck off.
and dont try those fucking puppy eyes, either. they just make me want to STRANGLE you.
grow the fuck up.

ROAR!!

x
[to: various people personified as one]

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~Georgie~
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Post by ~Georgie~ » Sun Apr 24, 2005 10:18 pm

You had NO right to do that. You embarassed and scared us both, you mad stupid fucker. Why did you have to do that?.....he did nothing wrong, i gave you a evil look but that didnt mean you had to try and kill him. What are you a animal? You sick minded freak.

You scared me shitless and i hope i never see you again. You stupid idiot fucking asshole. You seriously need to be sorted out. I hope someone does to you what you did to him but worse alot worse, you deserve to feel as scared as we did.

Fucking dickhead.



--That felt good...
~Lifes a dance and I dont know the steps~

Im not crazy, im just a little unwell--Matchbox 20

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theatregeek
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Post by theatregeek » Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:05 am

B-I'm Sorry
Last edited by theatregeek on Wed Apr 27, 2005 2:39 am, edited 3 times in total.
<3>Heidi<---<3
-------------------------------------------------------
Lie To me
Convince Me That I've Been Sick Forever
And All Of This
Will Make Sense When I Get Better
-------------------------------------------------------
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... t=#2889033 (my poem gallery)


*Hopeless*

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Catylyx
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Post by Catylyx » Mon Apr 25, 2005 3:34 am

Daniel: YOU FUCKING HURT ME!! Do you realize that? do you know how much it hurt me to see you with her? to know that you probably just made me throw away the best fucking thing i ever had, cause you couldn't!!? FOR HER!!!? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!! .......you'll never know that i feel like this, and you'll never see me betray my feelings when i hang out with you and the guys........and you'll never realize that you just lost me, and you'll never know you made me bleed......and you'll never know that because of you i cry myself to sleep...... :cry:

Brian: thank you for telling me what he told you after we broke up, thank you for being my friend. I'm glad your there for me, and that if i need to you can talk to daniel for me, and say things that i can't. Thank you.


Sam: oh my god sam....i'm so sorry....i love you so much.....and i need to see you.........i'm so so sorry that i can't tell you everything...and i'm sorry if i break down again....i really am.....

Nick: for the love of god!! get help! i know your hurting, and i know you want to die...and i wish i could help you i really do...but i'm not stable enough to do it...and i'm too worried you'll do something to tell you that......i'm sorry. i do care about you. and i hope you get better.


......>< *sigh*

--Sammy
<i>I am innocent and I have been set free
I no longer have chains around my feet
And no matter where I go or what they say
I am innocent</i> --Third Day
Image
Image
** 1 YEAR**~~back on the wagon 6/19/06~~

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NobodyToYou
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Post by NobodyToYou » Mon Apr 25, 2005 4:55 am

I am not ok. I know I smile. I know I laugh. I know I talk about everyday things. But I am not ok. I wish you could see that, cause I can't say it. I wish somebody would notice that something is wrong...even something small. I wish I didn't have to pretend.
I feel like screaming, but I don't know why. I feel like getting in bed and not getting up again. But I don't "feel" anything. I am flat, numb, not really here.
Please notice that I am not ok!
Please see me! Please?

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pandora
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...

Post by pandora » Mon Apr 25, 2005 5:45 am

maybe it's time.

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red umbrellas
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Post by red umbrellas » Mon Apr 25, 2005 9:42 am

i'm sorry i was so horrible to you the other night. and annoying. and horrible in general. i can't help it. i hate who i am, and i hate how i act, and i'm sorry..
It's all life and fire and lunacy
And excuses and excuses and excuses

Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella

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BrokenxAngelx
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Post by BrokenxAngelx » Mon Apr 25, 2005 1:49 pm

Stop it. Stop shouting. You don't know what it's like, I was scared to tell you. I was scared that you wouldn't love me as much as you do now. I'm sorry. I should've told you earlier, I should've been honest will you. Will you forgive me?

I'm sorry and I love you so much.


:cry:
<center>xx...__the red light'sburningbright tonight...__xx</center>

<center>xx...__ways of devotion turn toobsessionopen your eyes...__xx</center>

<center>25/04/2006</center>

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amyfairy
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Post by amyfairy » Mon Apr 25, 2005 4:02 pm

grow up, and get over yourself you srupid, immature loser. these things happened. big fucking deal. go grow up, instead of pretending all this shit. you know, go live in the world. open your eyes and you'll see there's a lot more out there than your fucking big head and your precious C.

i hate you, as you left me and i don't need you.

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hanging-on
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Post by hanging-on » Mon Apr 25, 2005 7:18 pm

Mum - i know you do love me but please listen to me, it's not about you so stop trying to beat me with how bad YOU feel.

S - I think I'm falling for you and I'm terrified.

J - stop obsessing, it's not worth it.

C - you are as bad as everyone else. You are not some perfect person who's never done anything wrong, you fuck up too, but you won't admit it and that's worse. You are not above anyone, no matter what you think!

Everyone - please notice I'm not ok, that I'm hanging on by a thread and need some help. I know I push you all away and put on the happy mask,but please see through it. Let me know you care and that you think I'm worth it, I don't think I am but maybe someone can convince me otherwise. i'm not as strong as you think I am and can't do this on my own for much longer. Just notice me and tell me you care...

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Dungeon_Lilly
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Post by Dungeon_Lilly » Mon Apr 25, 2005 8:12 pm

If you knew what it was like to be me you wouldn't have thrown it all away.
<center>

I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality

:tslug:

:dkpurpstar: :purpstar: :lpurpstar:

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Skyeler
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Post by Skyeler » Tue Apr 26, 2005 4:37 am

Mother

I want you to leave me alone, I want you to go away, I want you to remember that you don't love me. I don't want to be your charity case, I don't care what your friends think about how me and Ash live.

I don't care what you saw, I'm not going to apologize, I'm not going to explain because it's none of your fucking business. You stopped caring about me the second he dissaproved of me being born and you never once in my entire life showed that you were a mother.

You're not a mother, you're a woman who had a child she doesn't care for. Just remember who you are, remember who I am. I'm your son, you don't know me, you don't love me, so stop pretending you did.


Most of the time I feel like I don't belong.
But I got my new favorite record today.
My favorites change every single day.
Except you,
You'll always be number one.
[/center]

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Koru
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Post by Koru » Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:56 am

J - I want to be with you, I want so much for you to come over and see me but I can't get into this. I care more for you that you do for me, I will hurt so much when you leave in 2 months. I want you to fall for me, to understand me, to see how much I hurt and take care of me but you will never do that. You only want my body not my mind and there is more to me than that. I am not going to risk hurting H and T and myself anymore for something that doesn't even matter to you. I wish that you of all people would see through the 'I'm fine' mask but you ar too self absorbed to ever notice.

T - I'm sorry I hurt you, you really will get over me, we just aren't right togther. Thank you for your support, it means a lot, I don't want to hurt you again.

H - I'm sorry I hurt you too, would it make things better or worse if I started seing J? (worse I suspect)

C - Thank you so much for your support. I am tring to give you the support you need too but I really don't approve of what you are doing, still it's not my life it's yours and I'm your big sister and I will always support you.
- Always look towards the sunshine and your shadows will fall behind you -

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Twitter Mouse
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Post by Twitter Mouse » Tue Apr 26, 2005 6:01 pm

Ms. R~Thank you so much for today, you letting me stay in your class really made me feel cared for, and helped me calm down. Thanks for always being such a sweetie :)

Ms. H~Thanks for always talking to me and letting come to your office in between appointments. You helped me get through a very rough me without so much as a scratch.
And it's hey babe, with your guardian eyes so blue,
Hey my baby, don't you know our love is true,
I've been so far from here,
Far from your loving arms,
Now I'm back again, and babe it's gonna work out fine.

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