I feel unworhty of many things lately. Especially when it comes to taking care of myself. For example I had very dry skin (especially face & hands) last week when I was in holidays. My mum said that it looks ugly and I should put some hydrating lotion on it. I refused to do it, I said I don't like lotion. But actually I felt that I am not worth it to care for myself like this. I feel like I am already spoilt enough. I have an easy life, so many people would envy me for all I have, I really should be happy.
I don't deserve the things I have. And I shouldn't spoil myself even more by putting lotion on my face and doing unnecessary things like that.
I have always felt undeserving of the things I have, but some time ago I put lotion on my face every day. And I didn't think much about it. If I had eaten too much and felt ugly and fat though, I didn't put on the lotion because I was angry with myself. Is this some sort of self-punishment?
Does anyone of you do similar things? Any thoughts or advise on this?
Not putting lotion onto your face is not bad and it is not a problem, but I am just wondering where these feelings come from and why they have increased. I know no one of you can answer this question, but maybe you have experienced something similar.
Thank you for reading!
Taking care of yourself
Taking care of yourself
Semiramis
It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn't in that skin or the thin blue pulse that jumped under my thumb, but somewhere else, deeper, more secret, and a whole lot harder to get at.
from The Bell Jar by Silvia Plath
It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn't in that skin or the thin blue pulse that jumped under my thumb, but somewhere else, deeper, more secret, and a whole lot harder to get at. from The Bell Jar by Silvia Plath
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