coping with (untrue) labels. *lang*

[nirvana]

how do you do it? i know a lot of the things are untrue. some words i can deal with (i guess only bitch? because yes i can be a bitch if i'm grumpy. and i'll be the first to admit it.) but i can't deal with others. like whore/slut/skank. because i am not one, and i never act like one. (who decides what one is anyway?)

i know that i'm not a slut. i'm calm right now, and i'm perfectly rational. but if i get upset, or if i hear it, it bothers me. because i know it's not true, but also because sometimes i feel like it. probably because i've heard it so many times.

i guess this is general, but it would be nice to know how others have dealt with this. thank you.

[VowsOfSadness]

I used to be called a "slut" and a "goth" all the time at school, it got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I knew I wasn't a slut but when everyone is saying it it will really pull you down. You have to remember taht you're not a slut, that they are doing this for attention or revenge, it can be hard when you hear it everyday. When you hear it enough you may start to believe it. You have a right to be hurt by what they said and it is worng that they are saying it. Maybe try discussing it with them, if it works or u haven't already tried. I don't knwo what else really to say other than it hurts real bad

you can always PM me if u need to talk.

~*~Vows~*~ (Amanda)

[plantt]

i'm not coming up with a whole lot to say that's helpful... but for what it's worth i read...

[Licentia Poetica]

I don't have a whole lot of answers for you. I think though, that there's always going to be someone that thinks something stupid or wrong about you.

I think the answer would probably to make up your *own* decision and realise that they either don't know you very well, or they're just trying to hurt you and therefore not a great person to mould your perspective on.

For instance, my mum has spent years telling me I'm stupid/ a liar/ etc etc. I've been told to just look at the facts and try to understand that she does this because of *her* problems not because it's true. I do find it hard to believe that, mostly because my facts get skewed because I've been told it so many times.

because yes i can be a bitch if i'm grumpy.

it looks to me that you *can* distinguish the facts.

Ask yourself:

What's your definition of a slut?
Is it the same as the person's who is calling you this?

Forgive me for using such a cliche but, there's that old saying "those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind". If this person is calling you or anyone else a slut... is this really someone you want to base your opinion on?

[Harlequin_Tears]

Just remember that labels are only based on what people (think) they see on the outside. They don't know who you truely are, only you do.

[mallie]

I don't have any spectacular ways to cope with being labelled in that way. I still get hurt by things, whether they're true or not. A lot of that for me, comes down to feeling judged by people.

It can be a little easier when I can see and acknowledge that they really have no right to be judging me that way, but that can sometimes be hard to manage when feeling hurt.

Asking for reassurance from other people can help, sometimes other people can be a voice of reason, even for things we know are true.