Things Left Unsaid *LA*
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- knows the ropes
- Posts: 4554
- Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:12 pm
everything won't be all-fucking-right as you're gone and nothing can bring a father back.
nothing. i hate that you left me. hate that we weren't good enough to keep you with us, hate that you have her and that you have your own life. hate people with families, people with love.
i wish i could tell you, f, how i'd love to drown those pills. but i can't because it's me in my silent world.
someone, help me please.
and i've turned into a cliche.
nothing. i hate that you left me. hate that we weren't good enough to keep you with us, hate that you have her and that you have your own life. hate people with families, people with love.
i wish i could tell you, f, how i'd love to drown those pills. but i can't because it's me in my silent world.
someone, help me please.
and i've turned into a cliche.
- xanemicroyaltyx
- part of the fixtures
- Posts: 2358
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 1:00 am
- Location: England
- demidivine
- quintessential regular
- Posts: 1953
- Joined: Mon Aug 02, 2004 8:49 pm
- Contact:
fuck you all. i love you all, but i'm so tired of being the agony aunt. i hurt too, and you all of you never ask. its always you feeling suicidal, you feeling shit, you having the crisis with your boyfriend. even my boyfriend doesnt ask me how my first counselling session went, he doesnt tell me why he's low, he doesnt talk to me or make love to me. i dont have any friends here, my friends at home dont like me anymore, my family are too emotional. and then there's all of you. i'm so tired. why do i keep doing more?
- Wall
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 18928
- Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 4:06 am
- Location: Hiding
- Contact:
I have no idea where to go from here. None. Am I wanted? Does anyone care? Does it even matter? Can I go on being invisible until I'm needed to be used? Do you even recognise there's a problem? What is it about me that disqualifies me from being of value?
Fearless warriors in a picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
And we are caught in the middle
Somewhere in the Middle
Casting Crowns
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
And we are caught in the middle
Somewhere in the Middle
Casting Crowns
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- one of us
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 3:50 am
- Location: iowa
jake- thank you so much for being there for me....it would be so much worest if i didnt have you
rianne- i want to tell you....you deserve to know....but you would stay behind....but you need to take this opportunity and keep going.
nathan- your an ass, why have i spent so many years being your friend and helping you out when alls i get is shit and you dont know a thing about me.
Madison- you know....you saw, you were the first to notice and it was such a big deal, but you see the new cuts and dont say anything
brian, brian, luke and jared....do you guys know? you mention cutting so casually.....do you know about me?
rianne- i want to tell you....you deserve to know....but you would stay behind....but you need to take this opportunity and keep going.
nathan- your an ass, why have i spent so many years being your friend and helping you out when alls i get is shit and you dont know a thing about me.
Madison- you know....you saw, you were the first to notice and it was such a big deal, but you see the new cuts and dont say anything
brian, brian, luke and jared....do you guys know? you mention cutting so casually.....do you know about me?
i know you were talking about me. perhaps it wasn't subtle of me, but couldn't you have tried to word it better, could you just have said nothing.
you've ignored me for months. you don't want to know, so why do you expect me to be around. honestly you don't fucking care. and i hate you right now. and its just as well you're not around because i'd probably scream that at you.
but what does it matter. just hurt me a bit more, and more and more. its all i deserve right? i trusted you. i trusted you and you hurt me. and i wish i didn't care.
you've ignored me for months. you don't want to know, so why do you expect me to be around. honestly you don't fucking care. and i hate you right now. and its just as well you're not around because i'd probably scream that at you.
but what does it matter. just hurt me a bit more, and more and more. its all i deserve right? i trusted you. i trusted you and you hurt me. and i wish i didn't care.
- Catylyx
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1682
- Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 3:23 am
- Location: Finally in a place that i feel alive.
- Contact:
Danielle: what the FUCK is wrong with you!! Is is so bad that he's with me that you feel you HAVE TO FUCK with us!!! I did nothing to you! i don't even really fucking KNOW YOU!!! leave us the fuck alone or i swear to god i'll bring FUCKING HARM to your sorry ass!!!!
Sam: your my best friend and i love you more than anything...why can't i tell you when i need your help, why can't i tell you that you nearly lost me forever on several different occasions?
angama: thank you for being a cool new friend, i'm glad you want to help me (even if i don't want it sometimes)...and i'll help you whenever you need it ^^ *hug*
Rick: i hope you fucking suffer for all the shit you put us through
Daniel: you know i cut...and you know i love you (even if i'm still hesitant w/it).......i'm sorry i'm not able to show you what i do, or tell you when i desperately need your help, or to just be near me....i love you....
*sigh*
that actually made me feel better....^^ i like this post...
--Sammy
Sam: your my best friend and i love you more than anything...why can't i tell you when i need your help, why can't i tell you that you nearly lost me forever on several different occasions?
angama: thank you for being a cool new friend, i'm glad you want to help me (even if i don't want it sometimes)...and i'll help you whenever you need it ^^ *hug*
Rick: i hope you fucking suffer for all the shit you put us through
Daniel: you know i cut...and you know i love you (even if i'm still hesitant w/it).......i'm sorry i'm not able to show you what i do, or tell you when i desperately need your help, or to just be near me....i love you....
*sigh*
that actually made me feel better....^^ i like this post...
--Sammy
<i>I am innocent and I have been set free
I no longer have chains around my feet
And no matter where I go or what they say
I am innocent</i> --Third Day
** 1 YEAR**~~back on the wagon 6/19/06~~
I no longer have chains around my feet
And no matter where I go or what they say
I am innocent</i> --Third Day
** 1 YEAR**~~back on the wagon 6/19/06~~
- Wall
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 18928
- Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 4:06 am
- Location: Hiding
- Contact:
you have no idea what it all meant to me. you never asked. maybe you're above it; maybe you don't know where to start; maybe you don't care. i feel alone and unwanted. i have no strength to pull myself up and try again. i need help -- someone to reach out to me. you act like you care. if you're waiting for me to ask for help, i've done all i can. i can't risk more right now. please reach out. it would be so nice to know that someone really does care. but truthfully, i don't hold much hope of it.
Fearless warriors in a picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
And we are caught in the middle
Somewhere in the Middle
Casting Crowns
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
And we are caught in the middle
Somewhere in the Middle
Casting Crowns
- xanemicroyaltyx
- part of the fixtures
- Posts: 2358
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 1:00 am
- Location: England
- bright.eyes
- sprouting branches
- Posts: 1075
- Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2004 1:46 pm
- Location: UK
why aren't you talking to me?! i told you the truth, i told you everything you wanted to know, and you apologised and we were fine, and you said you'd talk to me soon... so WHY aren't you? if you're too stubborn to be the one to start the converstation then that just shows what an arrogant TWAT you are.. and i really dislike you. i don't give a fuck if you have a new girlfriend, i just feel sorry for her... but hasn't it crossed your mind to try and make up with your ex first? we used to be so close and you used to care for me... do you even care i've started cutting again? after 222 days of resisting temptation, i gave in, for no reason at all. but you don't know this because. you don't see me at all.
- Twilit_Star
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1690
- Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2002 2:42 pm
- xanemicroyaltyx
- part of the fixtures
- Posts: 2358
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 1:00 am
- Location: England
sian- i am sosososososososo sorry. it's all my fault. words aren't enough to explain how fucking awful i feel right this very moment. and now i don't know what the fuck to do for the best. and i don't know whether talking to you about it will get anywhere. but it's all my fault that he hurt you. and i'm never ever going to forgive myself.
- bright.eyes
- sprouting branches
- Posts: 1075
- Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2004 1:46 pm
- Location: UK
- VowsOfSadness
- sock rocker
- Posts: 3975
- Joined: Sat Dec 04, 2004 1:33 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: Pittsburgh, PA AGE:20
- Contact:
BILL I REALLY WISH U COULD SEE THIS
BILL I REALLY WANT U TO SEE THIS BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW
I really need you I miss you so much. I know I've already lost you and I love you, we were once best bubbas now we're barely friends I don't know what to do to win you back. Maybe I'm being too Clingy but right now you're the only thing I have to cling to . I miss you I miss having someone I told everything, someone for advice, someone for support now you have a new best friend. I just wish that I could have u back. I wish I didn't have to lose so much.
I really need you I miss you so much. I know I've already lost you and I love you, we were once best bubbas now we're barely friends I don't know what to do to win you back. Maybe I'm being too Clingy but right now you're the only thing I have to cling to . I miss you I miss having someone I told everything, someone for advice, someone for support now you have a new best friend. I just wish that I could have u back. I wish I didn't have to lose so much.
*Challenges welcome*
I always love a
I woke up this morning, I suddenly realized we're all in this together.
Drop by my place & say hi
Ask me anything!!!
I'm fully Recovered!
I always love a
Drop by my place & say hi
Ask me anything!!!
I'm fully Recovered!
M - This hurts so much, but Im in love you. I need you so bad. I love u. Please love me back.
H - I Hate You. I fucking hate u so so much. I really fucking do. I wish I could hit u fucking hard. Cus u totally deserve it. You lost the respect you had for me, eh? Well, how bout this, I *never* respected you. Ever. I fucking hate you beyond belief. I wish u would disappear. I hate seeing you around. You make me feel shit. Still. I hate you.
H - I Hate You. I fucking hate u so so much. I really fucking do. I wish I could hit u fucking hard. Cus u totally deserve it. You lost the respect you had for me, eh? Well, how bout this, I *never* respected you. Ever. I fucking hate you beyond belief. I wish u would disappear. I hate seeing you around. You make me feel shit. Still. I hate you.
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.
If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.
If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...
- twistddreamr
- sprouting branches
- Posts: 1144
- Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2005 6:11 am
- Location: New England, USA
L: quit the mind games, could you? honestly, i don't know what to do anymore. i really value your friendship, but the way things have changed i don't know what will become of it. you know basically all my secrets and are a great person, and i don't want to lose that. but at the same time, i can't keep going on like this. i put up a wall, and i'm sorry, but it's the only way i can deal without ruining almost seven months SI free. i'm sorry for everything.
M & D: i know you know about my oreintation, just come out and fucking say it. say you can't accept it. say you hate me for it. just fucking tell me instead of all these fucking mind games. i can't take them anymore. i can't take this anymore. just kick me out and be done with it.
K: i only wish i could tell you what's really going on with me. you always ask and i can never get myself to say it. i think in the back of your mind you know i SI, but you refuse to believe it til i say something. maybe one day i will. maybe one day i can tell you that i've found a better way of coping. you're an awesome friend and it kills me to lie to you. i'm sorry.
i'm sure i'll be back with more, that's all i can think of for now.
M & D: i know you know about my oreintation, just come out and fucking say it. say you can't accept it. say you hate me for it. just fucking tell me instead of all these fucking mind games. i can't take them anymore. i can't take this anymore. just kick me out and be done with it.
K: i only wish i could tell you what's really going on with me. you always ask and i can never get myself to say it. i think in the back of your mind you know i SI, but you refuse to believe it til i say something. maybe one day i will. maybe one day i can tell you that i've found a better way of coping. you're an awesome friend and it kills me to lie to you. i'm sorry.
i'm sure i'll be back with more, that's all i can think of for now.
As I search for the resolution...
"we're all just a little bit fucked up." ~Rob Thomas
"you have to earn your heaven." ~ Pop RIP
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