last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......

cmccallum0405 · Post by **cmccallum0405** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 11:55 pm

the last time i wanted to si is actually right at this moment but i can't because the tears are too heavy and are making me tired...

empty soul · Post by **empty soul** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 12:04 pm

because i thought hey this isn't going to help, i'm just going to feel worse afterwards, so i didn't

kate xXx

Sioneld · Post by **Sioneld** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 12:11 pm

I find it hard to get the courage up to actually make the cut...so sometimes I give up and don't get there. That's why I didn't SI last time.

pretty · Post by **pretty** » Sat Jan 22, 2005 10:08 am

Because I want to be free of this.

marylou · Post by **marylou** » Sat Jan 22, 2005 10:28 am

I don't want to have to start and end every day like this for the rest of my life, so I'm choosing not to.

save_me_from_myself · Post by **save_me_from_myself** » Sun Jan 23, 2005 2:16 pm

i looked in my emergency box - an idea i got here, on bus

Darkangel78 · Post by **Darkangel78** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 10:46 pm

I read through my "emergency book" pretty much liek an emergency box i guess... and stayed on the phone with my bf until 2 in the morning

Its all a blur · Post by **Its all a blur** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:28 am

was feeling really depressed earlier tonight (though didn't have the energy to SI although it and mildly OD-ing had been running through my mind all day) anyway, i told myself that if i had some toast for dinner (balanced meal i know!) then i could let myself bake some cakes. did that and chatted to friends as i did, and now i have ickle cup cakes with strawberry icing and pretty star/heart/circle sprinkles on top

yum

Never Again · Post by **Never Again** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 6:53 am

emotionally, mentally, physically wiped out. i'm too depressed to si. is this supposed to be a good thing?

empty soul · Post by **empty soul** » Thu Jan 27, 2005 3:05 pm

i just thought - nah i'm not going to do it, and i couldn't really be bothered

Looking_For_Love · Post by **Looking_For_Love** » Fri Jan 28, 2005 10:52 pm

I didn't because I remembered my promise.... I hope I keep it up!

chipped · Post by **chipped** » Sat Jan 29, 2005 2:49 pm

i knew i would feel even worse afterwards so refrained from doing so and also didnt want to break a promise

Boris · Post by **Boris** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 12:40 am

Because I was in class, and didn't want to SI at school. I promised myself long ago that I wouldn't.

Because people would know what triggered me, and I didn't want the person who did it to think that he'd won.

Because I'm turning 17 in a few days, and on the same day I'll have 200 days without slips. And I don't want to break that.

Because one of my friends is going through a really tough time, and I want to be part of the solution, not another factor to the problem.

Because I knew I was out of bandaids (sounds dumb, but it did stop me.).

I managed by giving my scissors to my friend; they were the only sharp object I had with me. I spent the better part of chemistry class somewhat dissociative, but I got through it. I didn't lose my days.

swanfaerie · Post by **swanfaerie** » Thu Feb 03, 2005 4:14 am

i got a migraine instead

broken_annabelle · Post by **broken_annabelle** » Thu Feb 03, 2005 8:39 am

I'm sick of letting a few certain people get me so upset that I do it. It didn't seem fair that I hurt myself because they made me feel like crap. So I just squeezed the crap out of my stress ball and listened to music for awhile.

empty soul · Post by **empty soul** » Thu Feb 03, 2005 2:53 pm

twas yesterday, i remebered why i was going to do it, realised it was a stupid reason, so didn't SI

limestone · Post by **limestone** » Thu Feb 03, 2005 7:43 pm

phoned the samaritans. (i still miss si sometimes)

Tainted · Post by **Tainted** » Thu Feb 03, 2005 8:24 pm

The last time i wanted to SI i didnt because I stood at my daughters door and cried while she was asleep. Cried for all of the time i had wasted being sad, and hating. For all of the time I had lost with her. And for all of the times I had covered myself up in shame around her....I dont want to have to do that anymore...I dont want her to grow up thinking the human body is something to be ashemed of....because it is not.....so I am done.....

grrrr · Post by **grrrr** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 8:15 am

Because I'm deep into ceramics right now and it's way too hard to try to wash clay out of bandages, and if they weren't bandaged I would definitely have some more hassles from my classmates.

Something Else · Post by **Something Else** » Tue Feb 08, 2005 2:02 am

Honestly, I didn't SI today because I didn't have my "tools" on me, and wasn't desperate enough to buy something that would work or forrage for sharp things. That and I just did laundry, and don't want to bother about washing stains out of my jeans.

Instead, I tried analyzing the situation, sitting against a tree, praying, and trying to relax, but they didn't help much. Finally, I calmed some by being mindful of small physical sensations, like the feel of my backpack and the rough wooden bench I was sitting on, and distracting myself by reading my textbook, not worrying about remembering what I was reading.

Ray

last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......

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